Telling my boss that I'm pregnant - via phone - stressed!

meli1025

I also posted this on the February 2013 board but wanted to see what you guys think as well..... 

 

OK so my immediate manager is out on disability with throat cancer.  This just happened and it's a whole other emotional story....SO, while he's gone I don't have an interim manager and am just dealing directly with our "big boss" if you will.  She is also a mentor to me and hired me so I talk to her often anyway.  BUT we only talk on the phone to catch up because I sit at a client site and she sits in our corporate office.  So I made an appointment to speak with her and the soonest we can meet is Friday morning.  (I'm totally showing and I really need for her to be the first to know before I tell everyone else.  That in itself is stressing me out!).  I'm also stressing because I'm wondering if I should make it a point to meet her in person and tell her.  Since we have a bunch of things to go over do I tell her about the pregnancy first or go through my list of work related things and tell her that last??? 

brewcitybride

Having women of child-bearing years in a work environment is not a new concept:) Don't stress - just tell her.

jlaOK

Fist of all, at 12 weeks pregnant there is no way you are "showing" enough for anyone that you work with daily to know.  If even you are showing a little, no one is going to ask you about it on the off chance that you actually aren't pregnant.

I don't think there is any problem with telling your supervisor over the phone, especially since this is your primary form of communication.  Tell her that you know there are things that you will need to discuss/plan for and schedule a time to meet in person to discuss those things further.

Don't stress about it.  Chances are she'll be thrilled to hear the news.

CADE387

jlaOK:

Fist of all, at 12 weeks pregnant there is no way you are "showing" enough for anyone that you work with daily to know.  If even you are showing a little, no one is going to ask you about it on the off chance that you actually aren't pregnant.

I don't think there is any problem with telling your supervisor over the phone, especially since this is your primary form of communication.  Tell her that you know there are things that you will need to discuss/plan for and schedule a time to meet in person to discuss those things further.

Don't stress about it.  Chances are she'll be thrilled to hear the news.

 

I don't know, the OP is on her 2nd kid right? I'm only 8w and I have had 3 guys in my office ask me already. Right now I think I look like I did back at maybe 14 or 15 weeks last time. I'm trying really hard ot meet up with my friend who borrowed all of my clothes to get them back so I can have work pants that allow me to breathe after lunch.... it is totally possible.

As for the OP, I would tell her at the beginnin gof the call. Explain that you fully intend to come back to work (if that is your plan) and that you are sure it will not disrupt your current work and then continue on to your open list of items. GL!

meli1025

CADE387:

jlaOK:

Fist of all, at 12 weeks pregnant there is no way you are "showing" enough for anyone that you work with daily to know.  If even you are showing a little, no one is going to ask you about it on the off chance that you actually aren't pregnant.

I don't think there is any problem with telling your supervisor over the phone, especially since this is your primary form of communication.  Tell her that you know there are things that you will need to discuss/plan for and schedule a time to meet in person to discuss those things further.

Don't stress about it.  Chances are she'll be thrilled to hear the news.

 

I don't know, the OP is on her 2nd kid right? I'm only 8w and I have had 3 guys in my office ask me already. Right now I think I look like I did back at maybe 14 or 15 weeks last time. I'm trying really hard ot meet up with my friend who borrowed all of my clothes to get them back so I can have work pants that allow me to breathe after lunch.... it is totally possible.

As for the OP, I would tell her at the beginnin gof the call. Explain that you fully intend to come back to work (if that is your plan) and that you are sure it will not disrupt your current work and then continue on to your open list of items. GL!

 

Yes, this is my second baby and I'm a petite person.  There's a total visible bump that I caught someone staring at today while in line for lunch. 

 Thank you, I'm going to definitely tell her first thing and also tell her that I've already outlined how my responsibilities will be handled while I'm out.  I wasn't this nervous to tell my boss during my first pregnancy because I was on a different account and my boss was the same for almost five years.  This boss is relatively new for me (this year I transferred to her) and the account is new as well. 

 

Thanks for all the feedback!

jlaOK

CADE387:

jlaOK:

Fist of all, at 12 weeks pregnant there is no way you are "showing" enough for anyone that you work with daily to know.  If even you are showing a little, no one is going to ask you about it on the off chance that you actually aren't pregnant.

I don't think there is any problem with telling your supervisor over the phone, especially since this is your primary form of communication.  Tell her that you know there are things that you will need to discuss/plan for and schedule a time to meet in person to discuss those things further.

Don't stress about it.  Chances are she'll be thrilled to hear the news.

 

I don't know, the OP is on her 2nd kid right? I'm only 8w and I have had 3 guys in my office ask me already. Right now I think I look like I did back at maybe 14 or 15 weeks last time. I'm trying really hard ot meet up with my friend who borrowed all of my clothes to get them back so I can have work pants that allow me to breathe after lunch.... it is totally possible.

As for the OP, I would tell her at the beginnin gof the call. Explain that you fully intend to come back to work (if that is your plan) and that you are sure it will not disrupt your current work and then continue on to your open list of items. GL!

I saw after I posted that it is her 2n baby and there's a chance she would show early.

I can't believe anyone would have the guts to ask if they weren't 100000 sure the person was pregnant. I've heard too many stories of someone getting offended because they weren't pregnant. I just figured it was known to never ask.

Amy&Anthony

I had to tell my new boss over the phone, I sited our corporate values of addressing things head on and just went with it. i said a few key things 1: i had been through this before and was confident it would not  effect my abilities ( this is baby #2). Save it for the end of the call so there is no awkward transition

honeybee72

I would agree with saving it for the end of the call. Deal with whatever else it is you need to deal with and then address your pregnancy. It would be easy to get sidetracked once you mention it.

CADE387

jlaOK:

I saw after I posted that it is her 2n baby and there's a chance she would show early. I can't believe anyone would have the guts to ask if they weren't 100000 sure the person was pregnant. I've heard too many stories of someone getting offended because they weren't pregnant. I just figured it was known to never ask.

 

yeah did I mention I work with a bunch of guys? LOL They are always making comments. For my first pregnancy I had one guy who said he knew right away I was pg because of how big my boobs got.... Several of them have no filter.

 I ask my DH every morning to play the "pg or fat?" game with me. He always says that no one would ask me. When I told them what happened he couldn't believe it either. I have denide it and laughed it off all while making the guys feel horrible for calling me fat Eventually I will have to fess up but it is kind of interesting now.

shannm

jlaOK:

Fist of all, at 12 weeks pregnant there is no way you are "showing" enough for anyone that you work with daily to know.  If even you are showing a little, no one is going to ask you about it on the off chance that you actually aren't pregnant.

I don't think there is any problem with telling your supervisor over the phone, especially since this is your primary form of communication.  Tell her that you know there are things that you will need to discuss/plan for and schedule a time to meet in person to discuss those things further.

Don't stress about it.  Chances are she'll be thrilled to hear the news.

yeah, if this is her second time around, she could totally be showing.

Don't stress.  I would base my decision on the actual supervisor.  How do you think she would react to the phone call?  Would she appreciate an in person face to face?  I had a coworker tell my boss by email.  He just said congrats and moved on.  I scheduled a face to face with him and because of that, knew what I was going to say before I said it.   

daisy662

Hello!
I was very nervous to tell my boss - he is located in California and I am in Florida so it was over the phone. I had been promoted a couple months earlier so I was also newly reporting to him. Also, the majority of people I work closely with are men. I was really concerned they wouldn't understand. Boy, was I surprised! They could not have been more sympathetic and excited for me! They even threw me a "man shower" LOL It was so sweet and so cute! They were very concerned about me my entire pregnancy asking me if I needed anything, carrying my bags, etc.

Ultimately, I wouldn't worry to much about it. Especially if she has kids of her own. Good luck!

TeAmoMiAmor

I had to tell my supervisor over the phone for my first pregnancy and I can totally understand your stress. I was so nervous, I was sweating the whole phone conversation, espcially because I was like the 5th person to come out say they were pregnant within weeks of each other at my client. For me it was better to wait to the end of the conversation and just say "and I wanted to let you know that I'm expecting and this is what I have worked out in terms of work, travel (I was travelling every week for work then) client responsiblities, etc). My supervisor, who was male at the time, was actually very understanding. I think I was more nervous because there where so many of us pregnant at the same time, rather than having the conversation over the phone.

On the flip side of this I just had an employee tell me over the phone that she is expecting (I'm in Ohio, she's in Atlanta) and she followed a similar apporach. We went through our normal status update and at the end she said "I have one other thing for you I wanted to let you know that I'm expecting" I was totally thrilled for her, so you're probably going to get a positive reaction. Don't be nervous it'll be fine and you'll feel much better getting it out there!!!

meli1025

Thank you all for the feedback and advice!  I'm starting to feel much better about it now.