1st Internal Exam Yesterday (OW!) & Feeling Defeated...
MomtobeNJ
member
So yesterday I had an ultrasound (she looks great, fluid levels are good - YAY!) and my first internal check. My OB said they don't necessarily do them at every weekly visit, but she had asked me if I was having any contractions. I told her I don't think so, but I do have some cramping on and off at times. Nothing major, but I'm a FTM and I know contractions feel different for everyone. So she decided to take a look.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but it HURT. Like, really hurt. Not trying to be melodramatic - I survived and I was fine within a few minutes. But I was really taken aback by how painful it was. But all last night I was just really bummed and feeling disappointed in myself. I can't really describe it - almost defeated. I am by NO MEANS planning a natural birth. If they could meet me in the parking lot with the epi, that would be great. But I guess I just thought I'd be a little tougher than this. I said to DH, "if I can't even take a quick cervical check, how am I going to deliver a BABY?!" His answer: "Drugs." Smart man.
I think part of the problem is that I was nervous and tense to begin with, plus I had no idea what to expect. Hopefully next time won't be so bad. My cervix is closed, by the way. And I've had no spotting at all from the check. I did have some mild cramping for a couple hours afterward, but nothing major.
Re: 1st Internal Exam Yesterday (OW!) & Feeling Defeated...
The higher your cervix, the more they can hurt because they have to really get in there to feel it.
Eh...the only pain I had was back labor but that was because the epi was meant for the waist down & I was feeling it from the waist up. Then when I was pushing, the only pain I felt was the headache I was getting from pushing. I was literally falling asleep between contractions.
I DID, however, feel the "ring of fire" when he crowned & I held him there. After that...just plain ol' relief!
This is different for everyone. I had next to no pain on my epi. I could feel the contraction in order to know when to push, but it wasn't painful. I had a very good epi experience though. (Before the epi though -- that was painful)
That said, I thought some of my internals (esp one of the nurses in the hospital) were more painful than contractions. Some nurses/doctors are rougher than others and the more closed up you are the harder it is to get in there.
During labor you also have adrenaline and other natural hormones that prep your body for the pain.
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012
Don't worry! Chances are that baby is still high and your cervix is posterior making the check super uncomfy.
The best thing you can do is try to relax and breathe. Being tense makes it so much worse!
By the time you are in labor, baby moves down and the cervix moves forward making checks so much easier!
I thought/said the same exact thing! I am so glad I am not alone!!!
I can understand your nerves. As a FTM as well, I went into my first internal not knowing what to expect. It didn't hurt at all and I was further progressed than I thought. I even came on here and told everyone that it was nothing to be scared of! FF to yesterday and having my second internal. It was beyond uncomfortable. I am not sure if it was because I was nervous (but I think I was more nervous the first time) or if it was because I was with a doctor I'm not that comfortable with-- but I totally feel you pain (literally).
Just know that it isn't necessarily ALWAYS going to be like that. Try to relax--and remember at the end of all of this unknown and "misery" we do get that little baby!
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
This.
Also it depends on the Dr. I had one doc I could barely feel and the other who felt it was his job to dig my cervix out.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
This. You'll still feel everything including pain with an epi, it just 'helps.' And for me, the epi didn't fully take on one side, so it wasn't shangrila, but I'm sure it would have been more painful without it.
I had an internal exam this week to make sure my cervix was closed (it is) and it hurt like hell too. Really uncomfortable! But, I just try to remember our bodies are made to do this and it'll be different in L&D, being effaced and dilated will probably help as well as your adrenaline. It's amazing what our bodies can do when they're ready to push out a baby.
Stay positive and best wishes for your L&D!!!
I have felt disappointed in myself when random things have "really hurt" and I have the same nervousness about dealing with labour if I can't handle a freaking splinter or whatever.
But, I think that while labour will obviously be more intense and painful, our mindsets will be completely different and that counts for a lot. With an exam, it's just someone poking around up there and yeah, it's important, but not nearly as important as delivering a baby! I try to imagine myself just getting in the zone of "I can do this because I HAVE TO do this!"
At least, this is what I keep telling myself
It definitely varies per woman. With all three of my babies I had NO feeling whatsoever pain-wise. I could feel them pull my legs up for push time but there was zero pain in the pushing, crowning, anything. It was like my legs were asleep and filled with sand. It depends on the anesthesiologist and how your body reacts to the epidural (and how strong they make it in some cases).
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
This. They want you to lay in different positions when you have the epi (unless you're sleeping) and I remember having to have MH & the nurse help me move because my legs felt like they were a million pounds each and I couldn't move them myself.
This is why I won't be having any internal checks. Our OB does not do them unless requested until you hit your due date. Then they want to see how you've progressed and how to proceed for induction.
I don't want them for a few reasons: 1. It doesn't tell you ANYTHING about when you'll deliver. 2. It can get your hopes up or deflate you when you are or aren't progressing 3. I've heard it hurts and to be honest I'm going to be in so much pain when delivering why start it early?
Well, I certainly don't expect to "not feel anything" but I am sure the epi will help and take the edge off.
Good point about your cervix being higher - maybe mine is? I should ask next time.
Thanks for all the support, everyone! I was feeling really whiney about this.
Like I said, she did it because I wasn't entirely sure whether or not the cramping I've been feeling was contractions. She will not necessarily do checks every week, but if she feels there is a need I'm not going to argue.
No flaming from me, I have my first internal check today at my appointment - they do them every week from now on and I'm excited. I want to know if these contractions I've been feeling are producing any change. I like to know what's going on down there.
Obviously I know it can mean nothing - I was a 2 cm with 60% effacement for three weeks but it was still nice to know.
you are not alone. my first exam was last week, and i cried, it hurt so bad. i felt so horrible about myself, especially since i'm going med-free!
i'm still super nervous about it, but at least i'm not the only one who feels this way.
FWIW, I nearly crabwalked backwards off the exam table a few times & when they checked me in the hospital because it hurt so much. I went on to have a completely med-free birth after that. They are totally different IMO. And I was seriously doubting that there would be any chance for natural/med-free after being such a wuss with some finger prodding.
This was me too. With #1 I dreaded it every time. Especially in labor when a contraction would happen in the middle of a check, if they weren't fast enough. Totally med-free birth though, and I never doubted myself once during the actual birth, so I think its a completely different pain. Just think - it is natural for baby to come OUT... not so natural for someone's hand to go IN.
Also... last week was my first check. I did the crabwalk thing. Today was check #2 and I barely felt it. I couldn't believe she was done, and then she was walking out the door! Hahha. Either she's better at them than last week's doctor, or smaller hands, or my cervix lowered. Either way I'm super grateful.