Something for you to look forward to.... (ticker warning)

roxyttandme · August 2012

Three years ago today, I delivered our little baby girl sleeping. As each year has passed, the pain has become much more manageable.. Of course, we will never not feel the loss and our love for our first little girl.

I want you to know how time has affected our healing process. This year - no tears. No dreading this week to come. No anticipation of depression or sorrow. I'm okay - in fact, I am good. I bet I have thought about today in past week all of maybe 5 times....? Last year, it still hurt. This year I think I have a since of acceptance. It has been a long and painful road to get here - but there is light at the end of the tunnel, ladies. I can see pregnant ladies (even when I am one) I don't' get hurt. When I hold a baby, I enjoy it.

Time ladies. I know it is tough to get through - but in the end you will be better.

Take care of you all.

jbranden12 · August 2012

Thanks for sharing, Roxy. Happy birthday to your sweet Haleigh Mae!

Bayberry12 · August 2012

It is so beautiful that you can find peace on you sweet little girl's birthday. I worry a lot about these special days and how they will feel for me. I hope with time I can maybe find some acceptance as well.

tuscanbride2007 · August 2012

Thank you for sharing this with us. I look forward to a day that the pain of losing my daughter is not so prevalent. Happy birthday to your sweet Haleigh Mae.

ILoveRedVino · August 2012

Thanks for posting. I have to admit, I can't imagine this feeling lasting for 3 years. It scares me a lot. But it is nice to know that life will go on.

Bayberry12 · August 2012

ILoveRedVino:
I have to admit, I can't imagine this feeling lasting for 3 years. It scares me a lot.

This is what gives me so much anxiety - feeling so sad for such a long time, and never feeling normal again. I know the intensity of the pain will be less, but I fear the sadness will always be there.

roxyttandme · August 2012

Bayberry12:
ILoveRedVino:
I have to admit, I can't imagine this feeling lasting for 3 years. It scares me a lot.
This is what gives me so much anxiety - feeling so sad for such a long time, and never feeling normal again. I know the intensity of the pain will be less, but I fear the sadness will always be there.

Its different with time, ladies. It isn't the first/last thought in AM/PM after a while. You learn to live again. You learn that laughing and enjoying life again is ok. You learn to be you once more. As the years go by, there may be days that you don't think about it at all. The sense of loss will never go away. Those little foot prints leave too much of an impact on our hearts for that... But the pain doesn't really hurt like it does in the beginning. At this point, I only cry maybe every 4 months - maybe even every 6 and it takes an event to bring it out. I don't get sad just thinking of my daughter, she puts a smile on my face instead.