Can you talk me off the ledge? (Sorry it's long)

DawnHope

Sorry in advance if this is long.  Details are in my siggy, but I am 41, have had 2 early losses and just went through my first IVF.  I was cautiously excited when I got my BFP (and a little freaked out from having high betas).  Over the weekend, I was feeling flu-ish - Had chills Sat night, and on and off Sun.  On Sun I took my temp and it was 101.  I freaked out and called the doc on call and we talked it thru and since I didn't have much of any other symptoms, he said to take Tylenol.  He did the disclaimer "hard to say without seeing you" but he certainly didn't tell me to rush to the ER.  He said I could go if I felt really unwell, which I didn't.

Coincidentally, I had an early scan scheduled today (I'm 5 weeks 6 days) to make sure everything was in right place.  This morning my fever was gone, but I had a teeny bit of spotting.  Not bright red, but not totally brown either.  I braced for bad news.

They did a bunch of vitals on me - everything looked ok - betas were very reassuring, but the scan was very questionable.  First off, twins! But I couldn't even process it because they looked so concerned and did what seemed like hours of measuring before they spoke.  They saw 2 sacs - Baby A was measuring about the right size, with a possible yolk, the other very tiny, no yolk, and was irregularly shaped.  

They've basically told me it's a waiting game.  Everything could catch up and be great, or one or both could miscarry.  I wanted to see my doc but couldn't so I asked that she call me.  I have some concerns about my autoimmune disease causing miscarriage and have read a lot about heparin - she was very dismissive and just launched into her speech about how old I am and how that's really the issue.  She was also annoyed I didn't go to the ER for my fever (even though the doc on call didn't tell me to. Ugh

Anyway, if you've even indulged me this far - THANK YOU - Not sure what my point even is.  I guess I'm hoping A) to hear some positive stories of sacs with no yolk/small/irregular turning out fine and that my over 40 chums will pipe in with some reassurance.  I am SO SICK of hearing the the grim stats.  Ugh.  Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long. 

benniferbaby

I don't have a lot of advice because I just have a history of TTC, but no losses or drastic treatments (I consider IVF drastic - not in a negative way). However I do believe that no matter your fertility history, the early days of pregnancy, especially as AMA, it's a waiting game, and a nail-biter at that.

Try to keep calm, as that makes a nice healthy home for babies, and hope for the best. Staying positive can be quite difficult when you've already suffered so much disappointment and loss, but I believe that attitude makes a world of difference in all that we do.

 FX for you, sending lots of sticky baby dust for a happy and healthy 9 months!

JilliansMoma

Hi DawnHope I'm a lurker but I wanted to share my story with you.  

I did IVF for my second child in 2010. I put 2 embryos in and my betas were 8dp5dt=126, 10dp5dt=251 and 20dp5dt=4362.  I too started bleeding after my first beta so I started freaking out but my RE was calm about it and happy with my beta numbers.

When I went for my first U/S at 7 weeks they found two sacs. One had a faint HB and the second sac was visibly smaller and had what the RE thought was a faint HB. Before he did the U/S he warned me that we might not even see the HB yet so not to freak out on him.  He was concerned about the second sac and had me come in the following week when I was 8 weeks to see if there was any improvement. 

Unfortunately, the second baby didn't make it but we saw a nice strong HB for the surviving twin.  While I was extremely sad to lose Baby B, I was so very happy to be PG with my DD#2. Hopefully, 5weeks 6 days is just to early to get strong numbers. I hope this will help calm your fears my LO is now 16 months old and feisty as heck!  The second smaller sac showed up on all my first trimester U/S. I can PIP some pictures of my U/S if you are interested.

GL and FX for you!

JM 

ReeceFamily

So sorry you are stuck in such a miserable waiting game...and that they are giving you flack about your age.  I'm now 43, had two prior early-ish losses (which I really do think were maybe age-related, since both DH is also gaining on 40)...but this doesn't mean your pregnancy can't stick or that you shouldn't get any medical help you may need to help it stick!  I did use progesterone for the first tri this go-round, and maybe it helped or maybe it didn't...but I'm glad my OB was willing to at least try it.

Can you change your doctor?  She doesn't sound like a great source of support for you.  I was unhappy with my OB and changes practices, and I feel like I'm in so much better hands, like there is a team behind me.  You deserve this baby, no matter what your age, and you deserve a doctor who will do what it takes to get you there.  We 40+ ladies don't have time to mess around.