Am I being insensitive?(NBR)

candr09

I'm so frustrated. I ordered a bunch of products from a sex toy party over 3 weeks ago. I paid for my things, plus a delivery fee, and was told I would receive everything I purchased within 7-10 days (or sometimes sooner). 

I have not been given my products yet. The woman who did the party contacted me on the 10th day after I placed my order and said she had my stuff and asked if I could come pick it up from her. I was at work so I couldn't. She asked if I would be home the next day, which I was, and said she would call me then. She called the next day and said she was unable to meet me that day and would I be home the next day. I said fine. Didn't hear from her for 2 more days so I called her. She kept giving me the run around, but also said her father was in the hospital and she had been spending a lot of time there with him. She basically kept telling me another day another day and then not even contacting me.

Last week, I asked her if she could just mail them to me, since we weren't having any luck finding a time to meet up (I do work weird hours - but I told her multiple times she could just leave the package on my porch, or that my husband was home and he could leave it with him- but she never did). So she said she would mail it. A full week goes by and I hadn't received it yet, so I called her an asked her if she ever mailed it, and she said no, her dad died two days ago.

I feel terrible that she lost her father, but that was 2 days ago, she was supposed to mail it a week before that, and actually supposed to give it to me a week and half before THAT. This is her job. I'm really annoyed that I don't have my things, but then part of me says give her a break- she did just lose her dad.

Idk. Do you think I have a right to be upset, or should I cut her some slack? 

Todd&Laura

Could you just pick them up at her place and bring a card or something to say you are sorry about her dad? That's what I would do...and then never buy from her again!!

Todd&Laura

Oh, and she needs to refund that delivery fee. That's bs!!

 

rnfromtn

Sorry, I do think you are being a little insensitive.  Have you ever dealt with a family member in the hospital who was so critically ill that they might die?  It kind of takes over you life while it is happening.  Not only are you feeling like every minute you aren't at the hospital that you should be there, but when you are there you have doctors and meetings with them and family members to deal with.  Give her a break and maybe inconvenience yourself or your husband to go get your stuff after she has dealt with the funeral.

FloridaLady

Please cut that poor woman some slack and show a little compassion. While her father may have just passed a few days ago, he was likely very ill leading up to the actual passing and I don't know about you, but if I were in her shoes I would have spent every single minute with my daddy that I could before losing him. While this may be her 'job', it is likely a side business that she runs outside of a full-time job and is likely to be what takes a back seat first, although I'm guessing in the weeks leading up to her father's death, the rest of her life would be taking a back seat as well. Like I said, show her some compassion -- losing a parent is hard enough without having somebody harp on her about receiving a party order.

BarooGirl

Um yeah, cut her some slack. Her Dad died and it sounds like he was sick beforehand. The last thing on her mind was being worried about your sex toys.

6fsn

This woman was caring for a dying father and is now burying him.  You are worried about sex toys.  Yes, you are being insensitive.  Cut her some serious slack and send the poor woman a card.

weddedwife

While I agree that's annoying, I think you gotta just suck it up on this one and cut her some slack. Due to the circumstances, I think that's the only decent option.

candr09

FloridaLady:

Please cut that poor woman some slack and show a little compassion. While her father may have just passed a few days ago, he was likely very ill leading up to the actual passing and I don't know about you, but if I were in her shoes I would have spent every single minute with my daddy that I could before losing him. While this may be her 'job', it is likely a side business that she runs outside of a full-time job and is likely to be what takes a back seat first, although I'm guessing in the weeks leading up to her father's death, the rest of her life would be taking a back seat as well. Like I said, show her some compassion -- losing a parent is hard enough without having somebody harp on her about receiving a party order.

I totally see what you're saying. I think what's bothering me is that 1) when we ordered, we paid a delivery fee, so I assumed my products would be delivered to my home. If I would have known that we would have to find a mutually agreeable time to meet up and get them, I wouldn't have ordered from her. My schedule is crazy and I know my "free time" is not convenient for others. And 2) the absolute lack of communication. If she would have just taken 30 seconds to send me a quick text letting me know she was unable to deliver things or hadn't made it to the mailbox yet, I wouldn't be so bothered. But other than calling me in the first two days, she hasn't said anything except when ive contacted her. And then even when I contacted her if she would have said 'my dad isn't doing well, it might be a whole before I have a chance to get your stuff to you' I would be okay with it. But the fact that she kept saying she would Deliver or call and then just wouldn't. I even told her the one - she said she would drop it off around 1 o'clock. I said okay but if you can't just text me an let me know. Never showed. Never texted. Never nothing. I paid over $200 to her and I can't even get a phone call or time frame for when I will receive my products. 

Todd&Laura

Just to clarify so I don't come across as completely callous...I wouldn't stop buying from her for any other reason but that she took so long to deliver and get back to you before her father died. It takes two seconds to mail something. It could have and should have been done quickly and easily. That said, I don't think you have a choice...you need to suck it up until after the funeral is taken care of. 

candr09

weddedwife:

While I agree that's annoying, I think you gotta just suck it up on this one and cut her some slack. Due to the circumstances, I think that's the only decent option.

You guys are all right. I think I'm just in a btchy mood. I guess I was looking more at the business aspect of it. If I order a product I expect to receive said product within the specified time frame and if I didn't I would be ticked. I wasnt thinking she is one person, not a company with multiple employees to get things done.

For the record, even though I sound cold and btchy in this post, I havnt been that way towards her at all. I've offered my condolences and told her not to worry about my stuff right now.  

BBS!

Is this a joke? Are you seriously that worried about your sex toys that you can't see that she is going through what is likely the hardest period of her life. Yes, her work is slipping, but be a human being and have some understanding. If in a month you don't have them then just ask for a refund.

Ragdolls

BBS!:

Is this a joke? Are you seriously that worried about your sex toys that you can't see that she is going through what is likely the hardest period of her life. Yes, her work is slipping, but be a human being and have some understanding. If in a month you don't have them then just ask for a refund.

This.  She just lost her father.  If this is for real, take a step back, gather up your priorities, and get them in order.

hansonam446

I understand your frustration and maybe give her a week or two to get things together.

That being said, I had a similar situation. My friend had a party, I ordered one thing. I had ordered from this lady before and received my merch promptly so I was expecting the same. Her mom had died recently as was evident when she was showing us the toys and pulled out one with a hummingbird on it and started crying because apparently hummingbirds were her mom's thing. It was super awkward because, yeah it was sad her mom had passed away, but it was a hummingbird on a dildo...really? Of all things THIS reminds you of your mom? Anyway, I never got my stuff. I've badgered her, badgered the company and still nothing. The hostess got her things after a bit of a struggle but I've resigned myself to never seeing that 15 dollars again. I'd contact the company if you don't receive your stuff soon because honestly, you paid your money for it.

NoWireHangers

Youre being a massive CI_INT. Her dad is dead. He was obviously sick before which is why she didn't have a chance to get the package to you before he died. Calm your bitchyass self down and buy a f(_)cking cucumber in the meantime. JFC.

hansonam446

NoWireHangers:

Youre being a massive CI_INT. Her dad is dead. He was obviously sick before which is why she didn't have a chance to get the package to you before he died. Calm your bitchyass self down and buy a f(_)cking cucumber in the meantime. JFC.

 

Dude she said she was overreacting. Chill. 

maiatene

I dont want to sound insensitive but thats just bad business to me. Im sorry her father passed but that was a full month after you placed the order. Personally I would have cut my losses and told her to cancel the order/refund the money weeks ago. If she doesnt I would get my bank involved to make sure she is not payed because she did not deliver the product/services. Business is business and if she was truly a professional (IMO) she would have reached out to you and adressed the issue before you contacted her, especially if her father had been sick for a really long time.

dande2129

Are you friends with this girl outside of whatever party she threw? I know it's a horrible thing to question but... did her dad really die? I have had to deal with sales people like that that have come up with the most insane excuses where people feel compassion toward them, only to find it was all a total scam, and I never received my products but they kept my money. 

If you do, in fact, know her outside of this, then I'd say cut her some slack. While it does only take two seconds to mail something, if she was spending nearly all of her time at the hospital (and I'm assuming really only going home to change clothes/shower) then she isn't thinking about sending a package--- she's thinking about spending every second she can with her dying father. 

ExcitedAunt2b

maiatene:

I dont want to sound insensitive but thats just bad business to me. Im sorry her father passed but that was a full month after you placed the order. Personally I would have cut my losses and told her to cancel the order/refund the money weeks ago. If she doesnt I would get my bank involved to make sure she is not payed because she did not deliver the product/services. Business is business and if she was truly a professional (IMO) she would have reached out to you and adressed the issue before you contacted her, especially if her father had been sick for a really long time.

This!  I understand her father died, he was probably sick when she did the show.  If she was so consumed with this she shouldn't have done the party and rescheduled it for another date.