There is no end to the stupidity.

BananaPancake

Here is an exchange between an incredibly rude woman at the grocery store and myself. You'll like this.
Just for context, you should know that I look about 30 weeks pregnant right now.

Woman: Are those kids seriously all yours?

Me: Yep!

Woman: And you're pregnant again? Seriously?

(Erm...no...I just like the basketball look...)

Me: Yep!

Woman: Man, you must have a good husband...

Me: Please. He's so good I'm pregnant with twins!

Woman: You're kidding. Please tell me they're boys.

Me: Okay. They're boys.

Woman: You ARE done after this, right?

(Here is where I'm REALLY struggling.)

Me: Oh, I doubt it. A woman with a husband as good as mine wouldn't dream of stopping at 5! So how many do you have??

 

Seriously. How rude can people be? I know I have more than the legal limit, but sheesh! I do keep them under control - it's not like we were exceeding our once-a-month outing plan! 

wille2b

wow!! sorry you had to listen to that, but you kinda made my morning!

lmydogally

Your response was awesome!  I love it.  My mom had three and then my twin sisters.  She had some tough days at the grocery store.  I commend you on your quick response.  

Capri22

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people are. but I absolutely LOVE your responses. I need to be able to think quicker on my feet from now on. I get so many rude, obnoxious comments. Last week, a cashier made an blatantly disgusted face at me when I told her that I was carrying twins. It was literally the rudest thing I have ever seen. She didnt even try to disguise her disgust!!!!!!

LaurenSara518

Your responses are awesome- I am amazed by people's rudeness and stupidity!!!

mysteriousmommy

This is why we don't take our babies out in public...

sugacattey

Capri22:

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people are. but I absolutely LOVE your responses. I need to be able to think quicker on my feet from now on. I get so many rude, obnoxious comments. Last week, a cashier made an blatantly disgusted face at me when I told her that I was carrying twins. It was literally the rudest thing I have ever seen. She didnt even try to disguise her disgust!!!!!!

 WHAT?!? That's awful!

Capri22

Yes. It was really horrible. I walked out almost in tears. Now I wish I had some snarky response.

2moms2twins

strudel82:

I wonder if people who do that ever look back think "Wow, how obnoxious of me."

 i know right !!!!

tarajayne

It freaking amazes me how stupid people can me!  The funny thing is it's almost always women making these comments... I guess men know enough to keep their mouth shut!  lol

We were out to dinner with our friends the other night and she was holding one of the boys and a lady came up and said awww your grandbaby is so cute.  WTF she is like 5 years older than me.  

macchiatto

So rude, but I love how you handled it.

macchiatto

tarajayne:

It freaking amazes me how stupid people can me!  The funny thing is it's almost always women making these comments... I guess men know enough to keep their mouth shut!  lol

We were out to dinner with our friends the other night and she was holding one of the boys and a lady came up and said awww your grandbaby is so cute.  WTF she is like 5 years older than me.  

That happened once when a friend and I were at Panera with the boys when they were babies. A woman came over and asked my friend if she was the grandma. She was only about 5-6 years older than me; I felt SO bad for her.

sugacattey

macchiatto:

tarajayne:

It freaking amazes me how stupid people can me!  The funny thing is it's almost always women making these comments... I guess men know enough to keep their mouth shut!  lol

We were out to dinner with our friends the other night and she was holding one of the boys and a lady came up and said awww your grandbaby is so cute.  WTF she is like 5 years older than me.  

That happened once when a friend and I were at Panera with the boys when they were babies. A woman came over and asked my friend if she was the grandma. She was only about 5-6 years older than me; I felt SO bad for her.

I was getting a pedi with my sister on Saturday and they asked her if she was the grandma! She's about 12 years older than me - I felt AWFUL!

Rynleigh

There is a negative stigma around it, but I have to say with 100% honesty that it stems from all of the sh!t-for-parents running around... my mother had 5 of us (I'm the oldest) and she had ZERO business bringing that many children into the world. She was neglectful, my parents were abusive, we lived off of my dad's $30K annual salary and my mother's WIC checks, none of us had medical care or regular dental care... not to mention the fact that none of us ever had individual attention and I was responsible for the safety and well-being of each of my siblings from the time I was 7 years old... Every family we associated with who had more than three children all had pretty similar environment of chaos and under aged children posing as parents. 

The unfortunate reality is that there are a LOT of people in this country who have more children than they can afford (be it one or ten), and those who have more children tend to stand out because their herd of ill behaved terrors make it obvious how irresponsible their parents are.... and a lot of us who grew up in homes like that came away very, very frustrated and resentful of it (as I'm sure is obvious from my post). 

As I can only assume that you are a GOOD mother who cares deeply for the health, wellness, and emotional stability of her little ones, stand proudly and show them off for the fantastic children they are. The only way to really combat negative stereo types is with public pride for those good examples out there that exist. Teach your children to be proud of how you raised them, so that they grow to help fight that stereo type and promote compassion for families who do it right.

I wouldn't dare to approach a complete stranger and act so pompous and presumptuous about their life choices - but the behaviour and attitudes of the children I encounter speaks very loudly for the kind of parents they have.

s0ulchicken

Rynleigh:

The unfortunate reality is that there are a LOT of people in this country who have more children than they can afford (be it one or ten), and those who have more children tend to stand out because their herd of ill behaved terrors make it obvious how irresponsible their parents are.... and a lot of us who grew up in homes like that came away very, very frustrated and resentful of it (as I'm sure is obvious from my post). 

Really? I'm sorry, but the above paragraph was kind of offensive to me. My husband and I work very hard, but are by no means wealthy. We have two children, and after two miscarriages, were actually TTA. Imagine our surprise to find out that not only were we expecting, but that we are expecting twins. Life in our house is going to become very tight financially. I fail to see how the state of our finances has any bearing on how we raise our children though? My son is 8, and proudly thanks the men and women in uniform that he encounters. He shakes their hand, looks them in the eye, and thanks them for their service. My daughter is 5, and while she is certainly a "spirited" child, she is by no means rude or unkempt. My children do not have the latest in electronics, but do have nice toys and games. They have clean, well fitting clothing, and are loved beyond measure. I am unsure why you seem to assume that because our family isn't wealthy that my children will suffer from it, and will grow to be ill behaved parents. The last time I checked, money didn't buy good parenting skills.

If I have misunderstood your post, I apologize, but the above paragraph really struck me wrong.

ETA: Banana, I am really sorry you had to deal with that, but I think that you handled it admirably! Every time I see your siggy pic I smile, your girls are so stinkin cute!

Rynleigh

s0ulchicken:

Really? I'm sorry, but the above paragraph was kind of offensive to me. My husband and I work very hard, but are by no means wealthy. We have two children, and after two miscarriages, were actually TTA. Imagine our surprise to find out that not only were we expecting, but that we are expecting twins. Life in our house is going to become very tight financially. I fail to see how the state of our finances has any bearing on how we raise our children though? My son is 8, and proudly thanks the men and women in uniform that he encounters. He shakes their hand, looks them in the eye, and thanks them for their service. My daughter is 5, and while she is certainly a "spirited" child, she is by no means rude or unkempt. My children do not have the latest in electronics, but do have nice toys and games. They have clean, well fitting clothing, and are loved beyond measure. I am unsure why you seem to assume that because our family isn't wealthy that my children will suffer from it, and will grow to be ill behaved parents. The last time I checked, money didn't buy good parenting skills.

If I have misunderstood your post, I apologize, but the above paragraph really struck me wrong.

ETA: Banana, I am really sorry you had to deal with that, but I think that you handled it admirably! Every time I see your siggy pic I smile, your girls are so stinkin cute!

The word "afford" is not strictly tied to finances.... it applies to one's ability to manage something. We're not a financially "well off" family - we have a tight budget, we have to save to get our kids the things they want, we have fallen on hard times - but we afford our children through our strong efforts, ethics, and persistence. We want to be parents - not just people who happen to collect offspring. 

LottaLattes

Rynleigh:

The unfortunate reality is that there are a LOT of people in this country who have more children than they can afford (be it one or ten), and those who have more children tend to stand out because their herd of ill behaved terrors make it obvious how irresponsible their parents are.... and a lot of us who grew up in homes like that came away very, very frustrated and resentful of it (as I'm sure is obvious from my post).

I have seen just as many single kids from affluent families be total terrors as poor kids. I don't see how this is related to the OP though?

I have 4 (all boys!) and have thankfully only run into polite people who make the same joke about me being outnumbered, sorry you had this experience banana! She sounds like a crazy ol' bat, egads.

RobinR91

I snorted out loud. I mean--I'm sorry this happened to you but thanks for sharing! It made my day. 

flgator

wow! I didn't know there was a legal limit!  sorry this happened, but lol.

LadyNikon

my reply " no. we are planning for 10 kids.  We come from a large family."  That way you could see her faint.

BananaPancake

Admittedly, we're baby-collectors. After the first one we were hooked! We can't get over how unique, perfect, fun and adorable each one is. Maybe it's a social experiment? 

 Truth be told, we provide a loving, well-educated home where bad manners, bad morals and bad attitudes are not tolerated. We have a wonderful, happy marriage and we can provide financially with minimal planning. We encourage independence and critical thinking and require respect 100% of the time. Our house is full of laughter, and maybe that's because it's full of children. Our children provide so much to us in return, their biggest contribution being the way they bond DH and I together and solidify our amazing marriage. What started as great is reaching a fantastic fever pitch in our raising a family together, and we couldn't be more thrilled to expand our vocation with each baby. The world needs more fine citizens, and we're hell-bent on providing that. If not us, then who? 

We are so blessed to live in a country where children are still (mostly) considered a blessing. We have three girls, and in many countries we'd be fined, imprisoned or worse, just for the sex of our children. I fervently hope that our country will be returned to a moral and Godly place, and if and when that happens, we will have moral and Godly people to add. If it doesn't, they're going to need our kids more than ever.

 And that's what I would REALLY like to say in the grocery store.