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New to The Bump
Am I abnormal?
I'm new, obviously. My husband and I just got married last month 
we're getting a puppy next month and we've been talking more about our future which brings up my little dilema.
I didn't think I'd even to start thinking about little ones until I was 28 or 29 but things are kind of changing. I'm thinking about my husband and how he's turning 29 this year and he wants to start having kids before he's 30. I completely understand this and agree but I'm totally freaked out.
We had our first "when do you want to start trying" conversation last night. Sure, we talked about it before and everything but I was always like YEARS and YEARS from now. I never even tried to imagine it being a real thing. Please don't take this the wrong way but it all just grosses me out big time! Everything about pregnancy and babies makes me almost physically ill. The more I think about it the worse it seems.
I want to get over this and have a baby but I feel like I'm way too immature to have one if this is how I feel. I also feel like where did the time go? There's so much I want to do before we have a kid it just feels too soon. But I also feel like it will always seem too soon ya know? I'm seriously thinking about bringing adoption into the conversation but then I think I'll regret not having a child of our "own".
ugh... advice?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I abnormal?
I would not say you are abnormal at all. I just do not believe that you are ready to have a baby yet, as can be evidenced by all of the doubt in your post. I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, one of the reasons I knew I was ready to have a baby was when I was willing to make personal sacrifices. I am okay with the idea of not necessarily being able to go out on a spontaneous vacation, or spend (as much) money on personal guilty pleasures..If there is still so much you want to do before you have children, you should explain that to your husband. As you can understand why he wants to have a kid now, he should be able to understand why you want to wait a little longer. Who knows, maybe after you do a few of the things you want to do without kids, you will realize how much more you would rather share experiences with children.
Sorry I do not have better or more helpful advice. My husband and I just recently started TTC, so I have not actually experienced pregnancy yet. But I am really looking forward to being pregnant! :-) I think when you are ready, you will feel the same way.
I wish you all the best!
I definitely think it would be a good idea for you to talk to your husband. My husband is 29 also and it took many discussions before we both decided that we wanted to TTC.
One piece of advice from one wife to another - don't tell him you decided all of this after talking to women on a website. It doesn't go over well, lol
BFP#1: 08/30/12 EDD 04/30/12 m/c 09/04/12 6wks
BFP#2: 01/27/13 EDD 10/06/13 missed m/c 02/25/13 9wks
BFP#3: 10/30/13 EDD 07/05/14 Our little dude was born on 07/10/14 @ 2:19p
I agree with the other posters; you should not let anyone pressure you into following their timeline. 28 or 29 is still young to have children so I don't think you need to worry that you will miss your opportunity. If that is your plan, stick with it.
Personally, I would not have been ready until at least 29. I am 31 now and I REALLY want kids. I am happy that I waited and had time to be selfish and do the things I wanted to do.
I hope things work out well for you!
This ^ :-) Almost the same thing happened to me--I NEVER wanted kids. Then I met the man of my dreams at 29, got married at 31, and now am 33 and TTC. To me it sounds like you simply are not ready, and that is so fine! You will know when you are ready because all the "things you wanted to do before you have kids" will suddenly seem not as important as having them. :-)
TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13 SUCCESS!!! Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).
Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!! Finally on the road to getting better.
Resumed TTC 7/2014! Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!! EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!!