time off

anc5

my wife and i arent agreeing, how much time does a new dad need to take off? she will be on maturnity leave and going down to part time. I believe 1 week maybe a long weekend is plenty of time she would like 2. how many people does it take seriously! 

coybig

personal preference... I took two even though I would be a SAHD as soon as she finished maternity leave. I say take two and you can always go back early if you want.

onlymeggan

I agree it is personal preference, it also will depend on how your child is delivered.  If she delivers via c-section and does not recover quickly, she may need the additional help longer than if she is a quick healer and/or had a relatively "uneventful" natural delivery.  My wife delivered on a Saturday, I stayed in the hospital the whole time, went back to work for 1 day (to get my holiday pay for Christmas) and then took another 10 days off via vacation time.  However, my wife recovered from her c-section pretty quick, so it was just as a extra set of hands and being able to bond as a family more than as a necessity.

Coltsdad

That post above was mine, didn't realize I was on my wife's account.  Another factor to take into account is fiances.  If you can afford to take 2 weeks, then I say do it.  If money is tight, it is only going to get tighter, maybe you can arrange 10 days instead?

Adamant627

So this is a personal preference. I just had a buddy of mine take a month and a half of cause it was summer and that's all the time he had and only way he would get any time off this summer. I am still debating on how long I'm going to take. It will be at least two weeks if not a bit longer cause it will be my first chance at time off in almost a year and a half.  My wife says its up to me

ladyjenna13

I am taking two weeks off.  There is no way I am going to have my wife go through the first two weeks of our first child alone.  FMLA is there for a reason, so use it for what it is meant to be used for. 

Now, I understand that I am in a blessed position with my wife having paid leave and me having about 3 weeks of PTO, so we will be getting paid during those two weeks.  That made my decision a lot easier to make.  Even then, I will still check into the office a few times during that two weeks.

I know money is a determining factor for many people when it comes to such decisions, but taking two weeks off is hardly anything that will cause a household to go into the hole, in my opinion.  Remember, these first weeks home will be the only first weeks home for any newborn.  Personally, I do not want to miss out on one moment of that, even if it is just pooping, eating and sleeping.  I will love to see all of that for the first time with our firstborn.

But we are blessed to be in the position we are in, so I do not know how I would feel if we were not.  Bills are bills....

anc5

This is the wife (we use the same account)

My leave will be paid in full and he will have a little over two weeks of PTO by that time. So it's not a money issue, he just feels he would only need to be home for the first week.

Just wanted to put my two cents in.

ladyjenna13

polooo26:

Yup, I wanted to save my time off for if I needed it later on. So one week and then I had the rest of my time for later on. Like if I wanted to take a day off to catch up on sleep (never took a day off to catch up btw) or do something with the family. My wife also had a good support system. After that first week you've really seen it all and you realize it is pretty easy except for the 3 hours of sleep per night part. If you have lots of vacation then go for it. Or if you know it's going to take your wife a long time to recover then take extra time. If everything is normal take what you need and save the rest for some long weekends when your kid is older. That's when they're really fun.

Regardless of little to no fun we can have with a newborn, those are still days that a parent will never get back. Since I get three weeks of PTO a year, and money-wise we are blessed, I would feel horrible if I missed out on those first couple of weeks of our boy being home.  Yeah, we won't have conversations on how the Green Bay offense dominates all other teams in the NFL, but I will be doing plenty of picture taking and household duties during that time.  And I think it will be a blast to spend those first weeks with my boy, even if he is only pooping and sleeping.  Poop can be fun!!! 

I understand not everone can be in that position, money-wise, but if you can do it, by all means do it.  We will never get those first weeks home back, and after waiting all these months, it seems a shame to just go on with the rat race and not try to spend every moment as new parents introducing the newborn to life.  My wife and I have to learn, TOGETHER, how to take care of our baby.

I just would never even think of doing it any other way.

DavidStamps

I'm trying to take off as much time as i possibly can. My kid is due in the middle of a huge campaign so I'm working 1/2 days for two weeks, once the campaign is over I'm taking two weeks off and then another week later on because my wife has to go back (her job is a little crappy with leave) but she is off for the holidays following that week.

At my job we get two weeks paid, 6 weeks of state and you can use any Personal Time you have. I have enough coverage to pull for the next 12 months for doctor's appointments, random stuff and paternity leave. 

It's my first kid, I want to be there for everything.

rakle99

Hope you don't mind a woman putting her two cents in. I am trying to get my husband to take two weeks off, and he only wants to take one. Number one, I've been hormonal enough during this pregnancy, and am scared of the burst of emotions I'm going to have on top of taking care of a newborn on top of trying to physically heal. One week doesn't seem nearly enough time to me. And remember several of those days are going to be spent in the hospital, not at home, so if you only take a week off it'll only be a few days off at home.

It can also take a few weeks to get used to breastfeeding, which can be exhausting. I've read that it's suggested the dad do things like make sure the mom has water and food while breastfeeding, because she's usually occupied with the newborn. 

I'm waiting until we take our classes before I bring this issue up with DH again. I'm thinking that once we get more information on what it really takes the first couple of weeks, one of us will probably change our minds about how much time he needs to take off. 

ladyjenna13

rakle99:

Hope you don't mind a woman putting her two cents in. I am trying to get my husband to take two weeks off, and he only wants to take one. Number one, I've been hormonal enough during this pregnancy, and am scared of the burst of emotions I'm going to have on top of taking care of a newborn on top of trying to physically heal. One week doesn't seem nearly enough time to me. And remember several of those days are going to be spent in the hospital, not at home, so if you only take a week off it'll only be a few days off at home.

It can also take a few weeks to get used to breastfeeding, which can be exhausting. I've read that it's suggested the dad do things like make sure the mom has water and food while breastfeeding, because she's usually occupied with the newborn. 

I'm waiting until we take our classes before I bring this issue up with DH again. I'm thinking that once we get more information on what it really takes the first couple of weeks, one of us will probably change our minds about how much time he needs to take off. 

You bring up a great point about breastfeeding.  The amount of time it will possibly take for that routine to develop will bring a lot of stress and exhaustion into my wife's life. I plan on doing all I can to help her through that transition.  Not to mention if the kid is colicy or is just having trouble getting into a routine as well.  So many things can come up, and I am not prepared to be absent at work and make my wife deal with all of it.