Downstairs neighbors banging on their ceiling...

LovinTim912

Let me preface this by saying that we moved out of an apartment building when DS was 14 months old because of the people living below us. Any time DS made ANY kind of noise - cry, yell, if he fell (he had just learned to walk), etc.- they would bang on the ceiling.  One of them approached me & said all of these horrible things to me about how I am a bad mother, have no control, blah blah blah.  Things got so bad and tense and escalating into them repeatedly calling the police on US for excessive noise (aka our son crying bec he was teething!!!) and them blasting their music.  We wound up breaking the lease & moving out.

To make a long story short, we found a new place that I am in love with and moved in August 1st.  It is a 3-floor house, divided into 2 apartments-- we have the top 2 floors, the tenant below us has the bottom floor.  We spoke to her before we signed the lease and said we have a toddler and he makes noise.  Her answer to us was, "I had kids & I understand noise."  She was (and continues to be) as sweet as can be.  She has many animals in her home too- 2 dogs and at least 2 cats that I have seen, so noise comes from her place too.  (ANd obviously, we don't care about the noise at all!!)

Well, it started again last night.  We were out all day and came home around 6:30pm.  DS was excited about something & ran from the living room towards the kitchen and I heard it.... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.  The daughter, who is probably in her early 20s, was banging on the ceiling.  DS fell asleep shortly after anyway, so I didn't say anything.  Then this morning, I tried my best to keep him from stomping his feet and we did great until 11am.  He ran from the kitchen to the living room and again.... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.  He asked me what that noise was and I told him that the nice people downstairs didn't want to hear him stomping his feet.  He understood and played quietly after that.

I really want to go down there and see what the deal is, but I am afraid that it will become confrontational like it did in our last place.  The last thing we want is to have enemies living downstairs from us, ya know? Actually, what I'd really like to do is talk to them.  Maybe one of them works nights or weird hours?  Maybe our living room is right about their bedroom(s)???  Because really, 11am on a Sunday is not the crack of dawn.  6:30pm on a Saturday night is not unreasonable either.....

Oh & I haven't told DH about this either yet.  

What would you do????  I'm so upset by this.  We came from a really tense and awful situation and I do NOT want a repeat of that!!!!!! 

KelliLynee

I think you should say anything before it spirals out of control and becomes too tense to talk about. Just explain your situation, that you try your best to be respectful and try to teach your LO about indoor vs outdoor types of play, but that kids are noisy, they like to run and jump, etc., and that this is why you made sure to discuss it before you signed the lease. See if there is a certain time or area thats worse and if you can come to an agreement of some sort (keep jumping out of the living room for examply), but remember that you can't control everything your kid does and maybe this family needs to be reminded of that. That you'll (perhaps) agree to keep jumping out of the living room to the best of your ability, you hope they will be understanding that kids are kids and things happen, and if they hear jumping in the living room, they can trust that you are trying your best to limit it.

Good luck!

MrsWindyCity

This kind of things drives me nuts. If there is a problem with the noise, she should tell you about it, not bang on the ceiling. That's escalating the problem right from the beginning. Anyway, I would talk to her. Just tell her you heard some banging and were wondering if there has been a problem. Then just explain to her that you try to keep your toddler as quiet as possible, and that you will definitely assure there is no noise between such and such time. Honestly, when you live in an apartment, you have to realize you're going to hear noise, whether it's a toddler or someone else (and I say this as a condo dweller). We have people upstairs who stomp around and unless it's at terrible  hours of the day, I don't even bother saying anything because I knew when I moved into a condo that this would be a potential issue. 

LovinTim912

I know!  When we lived in the building, there was a family that lived below us (before the people who ultimately made us move) with a small child.  I don't know what the problem was, but that kid would cry from 10pm on.  We never said a word because that's what kids do, and that's what you hear when you live in a building!!!

As far as our situation goes, I think the problem is with the daughter and not the mom.  The mom is as sweet as can be & she loves our son.  The daughter is a young girl with no kids, so maybe she has trouble understanding the noise. But what kills me is that they have 2 dogs in there that are constantly barking, so they are making plenty of noise on their own!!!

saturdaynightdoubletree

Keep communication open. We live in an apartment right now and I feel so terrible for the people below us. I try so hard, and so do the kids... But they're kids, they run they fall they bounce balls... Noise happens, especially because I SAH. Luckily the husband and son leave for work at 5 am and my kids are in bed by 8. The woman sometimes jokes with me about the kids "exercise routines" upstairs, and I occasionally will apologize and let her know on mornings I am trying to keep them quieter but it just isn't working. The people above us complain that the hear the kids telling and screaming, but we've called our courtesy officer on them quite a bit, because even on a Sunday afternoon it is not necessary for me to put up with their crappy music up so loud that my walls are literally shaking and I can't even hear my own tv while kids are trying to nap. Is your neighbors daughter always there? The floor banging thing is annoying to me. Not sure I have any real advice, just try to keep a pleasant relationship. GL!

LovinTim912

Next time she bangs, I am going down there to find out what the deal is.  If she is trying to sleep because of work or whatever, then it would be helpful for us to know that.  I can do my best to keep him from stomping his feet, which is when she bangs.  They don't seem to have a problem with when he is crying or yelling, but I guess what they hear most is him stomping his feet or jumping.

And I just hope we don't have a huge problem in Feb. when the baby comes.  

Oh boy.  Stress is just what I need right now. 

ali0608

We lived upstairs when we got married and our downstairs neighbor did the same thing when we would accidentily drop something on the floor.  It was ridiculous.  I was so happy when she moved and when we got our own house.  I can't imagine what would have happenede if we had a toddler.  She would have freaked out.

I would try to approach the situation as nice as possible and come to some compromise.  Good luck because I know that is a tough situation.

LovinTim912

Ya know, last night after DS was asleep and I was sitting on the couch watching TV, she randomly banged near our kitchen.  I kid you not that it was DEAD SILENT in here...... she must be insane!!  That's the only logical explanation!!!

PajamaTime

LovinTim912:

Ya know, last night after DS was asleep and I was sitting on the couch watching TV, she randomly banged near our kitchen.  I kid you not that it was DEAD SILENT in here...... she must be insane!!  That's the only logical explanation!!!

This makes me think that she may not be banging at you....could she be doing something else that sounds like she is banging on the ceiling?  Perhaps it has nothing to do with you and noise coming from your apartment.

LovinTim912

Anything is possible!  She does have at least 4 animals in there (2 cats and 2 dogs), so maybe they were getting into mischief?????  If it happens again during a time when DS is making noise, then I can always approach her.  I think, for now, I won't say anything.