Question about the little boy who drowned

kmm2150

I don't mean to sound insensitive at all, and can't imagine what this little boy's family is going through, but the question that keeps bouncing around in my brain is: where were the grown-ups? He had to have been under water for some stretch of time, not just the split second that it should've taken for an observant adult to grab both the kids out of the pool.

I'm not trying to blame anyone - we have good family friends who's son climbed into their backyard pool and drowned and the parents have struggled literally for decades with the guilt that they didn't get to him quicker; these things happen and it doesn't mean anyone's a bad parent and sometimes there's nothing you can do. 

It just seems like, with the amount of information that was apparently witnessed - the little girl struggling, the little boy trying to save her - it seems like there would've been enough people around that someone should've been able to pull them both out of the pool very quickly.

I hope I don't offend or upset anyone - if anybody knows more details, I'd be interested to hear the rest of the story.

RayRay007

None of us knows exactly what happened. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt that they did not let their son drown on purpose, shall we? Things happen in a split second. I understand the thought - 'how could that happen unless no one was supervising" but these things do happen even before parents' eyes. 

kbingram51

Drowning can occur within 2-3 minutes. It doesn't take long at all. And, contrary to popular belief, drowning is considered to be a "silent death" because of the body's instinctive drowning response. Instead of the stereotypical thrashing response we often see on TV, a person who is drowning involuntarily uses every bit of energy to just get air into their lungs (upright, head tilted back, inability to talk, involuntary paddling/flapping arms to get to surface).

I'm pretty sure this boy was retrieved from the water and died from complications stemming from near drowning (judging from the fact that he was in the hospital post accident). Someone can die from drowning even after being removed from the water alive because of complications from inhaling water/losing consciousness/etc.

kmm2150

Yeah, like I said I didn't mean to offend. In previous posts there were numerous people that said they lived in the area, etc. and I was wondering if there were any more details that hadn't been posted here. I have no doubt that everyone there did everything they could, just was wondering if there was more to the story - usually seems like these kinds of tragedies happen when no one's around, and that didn't seem to be the case here.

Hyfagal

Have you seen the "Drowning doesn't look like drowning" article on Pinterest? There were signs to look for in that article that I wouldn't have known to watch for before. It's not always just sinking to the bottom. There is often a silent struggle above water before they sink.

kbingram51

kmm2150:

Yeah, like I said I didn't mean to offend. In previous posts there were numerous people that said they lived in the area, etc. and I was wondering if there were any more details that hadn't been posted here. I have no doubt that everyone there did everything they could, just was wondering if there was more to the story - usually seems like these kinds of tragedies happen when no one's around, and that didn't seem to be the case here.

I understand where the question came from. I always thought drowning was kind of a spectacle, until we had water safety training in the Navy. It's terrifying how much drowning actually looks like swimming and how quickly it can seriously harm or injure a person, even if they're rescued. I'm sure that the parents didn't realize that the boy was in any danger until it was too late, which, when we're talking 2-3 minutes, can happen pretty quickly.

I don't think it would hurt ANYONE to look up the signs of drowning, if only to understand what to look for with your own children.

kmm2150

kbingram51:

kmm2150:

Yeah, like I said I didn't mean to offend. In previous posts there were numerous people that said they lived in the area, etc. and I was wondering if there were any more details that hadn't been posted here. I have no doubt that everyone there did everything they could, just was wondering if there was more to the story - usually seems like these kinds of tragedies happen when no one's around, and that didn't seem to be the case here.

I understand where the question came from. I always thought drowning was kind of a spectacle, until we had water safety training in the Navy. It's terrifying how much drowning actually looks like swimming and how quickly it can seriously harm or injure a person, even if they're rescued. I'm sure that the parents didn't realize that the boy was in any danger until it was too late, which, when we're talking 2-3 minutes, can happen pretty quickly.

I don't think it would hurt ANYONE to look up the signs of drowning, if only to understand what to look for with your own children.

I was a lifeguard and taught swim lessons in high school, so I know (and think it's very important to educate others) that a drowning person is not always thrashing and flailing about, screaming for help. I guess in my mind, I will never take my eyes of DD in a pool until she's much older, and even 2-3 minutes seems like a very long time for a 4 year old to be holding a 3 year old above water and no one notice that they needed help. I found on one news site that it said he was "found" on the bottom of the pool, but maybe that's not accurate.

Again, I'm not saying anyone was doing anything wrong at all, or not being attentive enough, and this may be exactly what happened, that simply no one realized he needed help till too late.

EDIT to add: I guess what's so confusing to me is that the news stories I've found give a play-by-play of him helping the little girl, as if someone was standing there watching him help this little girl, but apparently took no action to get them both out of the pool? That's what has me so confused and bothered - who was it that saw this and why didn't they do something?

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com

I live in the neighborhood where this happened. I don't take my kids to that pool unless I only have one kid with me. It's really hard to see if the kids go under the bridge and through the "lazy river" part of the pool. The river part starts out only maybe 6 inches deep and ends at the deepend of the pool 4.5 feet. I feel like there are so many possibilities as to why this could have happened. Yes obviously he was our of someone's sight for at least a min or two. I feel like every parent has gotten distracted, at a time their child could have been hurt. I do realize in the water extra precaution needs to be taken. This mother knows that knows that now better than any of us. 

MrsSR

I understand what you are asking and wondered the same thing myself... how did they know he was saving the girl if no one was around? Where were the adults?  Maybe the adults didn't realized it right away that they needed help?  That's all I've got.

kmm2150

MrsSR:

I understand what you are asking and wondered the same thing myself... how did they know he was saving the girl if no one was around? Where were the adults?  Maybe the adults didn't realized it right away that they needed help?  That's all I've got.

Exactly - it's no so much the fact that it happened - things like this sadly happen all too often - it's the amount of information that seems to be available about what led up to it, how he was helping the little girl, etc. - like, who sat there and watched all of that and didn't help them?

ShellShockedMama

I was a lifeguard in college, I rescued a little girl who was drowning---I had to shove her father out of the way to get to her. He had no idea she was drowning. He could have just reached out and touched her, that's how close he was. 

So, don't judge because it can happen to you. Even if you're the most vigilant parent on earth.  

kmm2150

ShellShockedMama:

I was a lifeguard in college, I rescued a little girl who was drowning---I had to shove her father out of the way to get to her. He had no idea she was drowning. He could have just reached out and touched her, that's how close he was. 

So, don't judge because it can happen to you. Even if you're the most vigilant parent on earth.  

I'm not judging at all and totally agree with you - as was said in pp, (which I should've made more clear in my OP), the fact that there is so much detail from "witnesses" who were apparently WATCHING the little girl almost drown and then WATCHING the little boy drown is what prompted my question - obviously it only takes minutes, or even seconds, for a child to drown, and any parent could look away briefly or even, as you say, not realize what was happening, but from the reports it sounds like people were very much aware that this little boy was helping this little girl while both of them struggled, so why didn't one of these "witnesses" do or say something before he ended up unconsious at the bottom of the pool?

theseaword

kmm2150:

ShellShockedMama:

I was a lifeguard in college, I rescued a little girl who was drowning---I had to shove her father out of the way to get to her. He had no idea she was drowning. He could have just reached out and touched her, that's how close he was. 

So, don't judge because it can happen to you. Even if you're the most vigilant parent on earth.  

I'm not judging at all and totally agree with you - as was said in pp, (which I should've made more clear in my OP), the fact that there is so much detail from "witnesses" who were apparently WATCHING the little girl almost drown and then WATCHING the little boy drown is what prompted my question - obviously it only takes minutes, or even seconds, for a child to drown, and any parent could look away briefly or even, as you say, not realize what was happening, but from the reports it sounds like people were very much aware that this little boy was helping this little girl while both of them struggled, so why didn't one of these "witnesses" do or say something before he ended up unconsious at the bottom of the pool?

I honestly had this question too. I assume there's a totally logical explanation and this could not have been prevented, but I did wonder. 

OCNewlywed

I read that the mom of the 4-year old was there with her three kids and had turned briefly to do something for another kid. I am not sure where the parent of the 3-year old was at the time.

Such a sad story!