I think I win in the all time EFFing worst remark from MD reception

BabyVDM

So today at lunch I walk over to my Dr's office just to make an appointment for a repeat pap.

I look at the girl, she is new, and I say.  "I'd like to make an appointment with my Dr. for repeat PAP"  She looks at me and says quietly.  "Are you still getting your cycle?"  I am stunned into a silence and stare blankly at her.  In my head I'm thinking 'What?', 'uh what?!', 'Excuse me, do I LOOK menopausal!?!?'  eff Off you effing stupid 22 year old idiot fool.  I've got 10 more years of this damn AF coming my way.  How effing dare you!!?!?" 

In real life, I just said "Pardon?"  Then she got snarky, and tells me they need to know so they book the appointment for day 15 or more.  I said, uh well I just MC'd.  She gets even more agitated and irritated with me and says "Oh Well how was I supposed to know that?!"  And I'm still reeling from the "do you still get your cycle?" question.

I had to be pleasant so I could get the appointment booked for 2 freaking weeks from now becasue my GP is going on vacation.  Then I said, well can I book an appointment with someone else, I need to a requisition for bloodwork to get my BHCG levels checked.  She gets po'd again.  Like how dare I ask to see someone other than my own GP.  I had to explain, in the waiting room, that I mc'd 3 weeks ago, that I'm still getting BFPs and I need to have my levels checked to make sure they are actually going down.  A-hole.  So she 'squeezes' me in next week to see my GP.

I can't explain how effing po'd I am right now.  How effing rude!? and how embarrassing, not to mention I had to spill all my private and painful information to the entire room. 

Oh the manager is going to hear about this.  That effing piece of work really needs some sensitivity training.  All she had to do was ask me "when was your last period" and I would not be sitting here wondering if I really look 10 years older than I am.

GOD I am so EFFING MAD!!!!!

10-4LilBuddy

Oh my.  I'm speechless at how rude that was.  What a terrible experience.  I'm sorry.

annalisel

I can't understand how people who work in doctor's offices can be so ignorant about basic health. You'd think they would have had some training at some point.

I'm sorry for your terrible experience. If it makes you feel better I got the same are you still getting your cycle at the RE's office, which I thought was pretty odd.

Definitely complain about this person. 

Mrs.McIrish

annalisel:

I can't understand how people who work in doctor's offices can be so ignorant about basic health. You'd think they would have had some training at some point.

I'm sorry for your terrible experience. If it makes you feel better I got the same are you still getting your cycle at the RE's office, which I thought was pretty odd.

Definitely complain about this person. 

I am going to play devil's advocate as I don't think the question OP or you were asked is that odd or rude. As someone in POF, I get asked it a lot.  You can still use DE if you don't have ovaries so that explains why you were asked at the RE's office.  I also get lots of testing as I am BRCA+ and I get asked if I still have a cycle since they have to time the breast MRI or TVU around your cycle. If you don't have a cycle, it can be done anytime. Lots of "younger" women have had hysterectomies or oophecteromies so not having cycles is common.

Women that are not of menopausal age may not have a cycle anymore for various medical reasons.   Both of you may be more sensitive to it with a recent m/c and RE treatment but it is a valid question.   Someone who doesn't have a cycle may be upset when they get asked when their LMP is.. Just giving some perspective..

Mayzie15

Unbelievable I'm so sorry and she shouldn't work there after you complain to her boss, clearly she doesn't have the tact or demeanor for this job

Lenox1975

oh my god i want to strangle her.  un effing believable

danieleandwayne

I've never had a doctor's office ask me about my LMP when I'm scheduling a pap. They don't care-- they swab and send off the results. They've never cared where I was in my cycle.

I can't believe you were so polite to her. Quite frankly, I would have asked her "what do you mean, do I still get my cycle?"  And then made her ask the question again-- just to see if she even knew what she was talking about. If she then asked if I still menstruated, I think I would have replied with a "wow! you know all about that at such a young age! Have you gotten your period yet? Yes? Your mom must be so proud that her little baby is becoming a woman!"

I hope the manager reams her a new one and then shows her the door. What a freaking twinkie! And she's the front desk staff-- the one that new patients see and speak to first, i.e. the face of the practice!

I disagree with pp-- it doesn't matter if someone is sensitive or not about their cycle. Clinical language is there for a reason-- it sets a professional boundary and creates a safe zone so that the patient knows that a medical staff member is taking the patient's health and well-being seriously. It would be like if I asked a man, "so can you still get it up?" instead of asking if he had "difficulty urinating, including stopping and starting midstream" to determine his prostate size/function.

Abeille

I'm glad you're taking it up with the office manager.  I am sorry you are having to deal with that on top of a m/c.

meredith57

She sounds awful!  I doubt she will last long!

BabyVDM

Mrs.McIrish:

annalisel:

I can't understand how people who work in doctor's offices can be so ignorant about basic health. You'd think they would have had some training at some point.

I'm sorry for your terrible experience. If it makes you feel better I got the same are you still getting your cycle at the RE's office, which I thought was pretty odd.

Definitely complain about this person. 

I am going to play devil's advocate as I don't think the question OP or you were asked is that odd or rude. As someone in POF, I get asked it a lot.  You can still use DE if you don't have ovaries so that explains why you were asked at the RE's office.  I also get lots of testing as I am BRCA+ and I get asked if I still have a cycle since they have to time the breast MRI or TVU around your cycle. If you don't have a cycle, it can be done anytime. Lots of "younger" women have had hysterectomies or oophecteromies so not having cycles is common.

Women that are not of menopausal age may not have a cycle anymore for various medical reasons.   Both of you may be more sensitive to it with a recent m/c and RE treatment but it is a valid question.   Someone who doesn't have a cycle may be upset when they get asked when their LMP is.. Just giving some perspective..

 

Just to be clear.  I am not sensitive about my MC.  I'm sensitvie about my age, and not just because of TTC.  As I said before, she just needed to ask the question in less offensive manner.  i.e. When was your last period?  

I have regular breast MRIs for screening post breast cancer and to monitor and hopefully catch possible recurrence early on.  I haven't been asked about my cycle when booking the MRI.  They ask at the time of the appointment "the date of your last period" but only to ensure that you are not pregnant.  This is how I found out the first time I was pregnant.  At my first MRI 6 weeks post treatment.  That was a shock. 

I am anxious however as this is a follow up pap after an abnormal result.  Any abnormal cancer screening test result scares the bejesus of of me.  

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify.  It was how she asked the question.  Her growing aggitation, increasing rudeness and the fact that she had no clue that she had said something that could possible have been offensive.  I was a medical receiptionist, I put myself through university working at a Dr. office. I have been in her shoes.  Which is why I tried to be pleasant in response, when my instinct was telling me different.  She just needs the proper training.

mtlaurel

I just can't understand why she questioned you at all. It was a follow-up. On top of that, I've never heard of having to schedule a pap at a certain time.

I have very low expectations of just about every stranger I come across, so I'd be miffed, but would just shake it off. Good luck talking to the manager.

 

BabyVDM

mtlaurel:

I just can't understand why she questioned you at all. It was a follow-up. On top of that, I've never heard of having to schedule a pap at a certain time.

I have very low expectations of just about every stranger I come across, so I'd be miffed, but would just shake it off. Good luck talking to the manager.

 

I'm over it now.  Though somewhere way down my spirit is slightly broken.  DH has been having a grand ol time ribbing me about it and haing a good laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was.  He has reassured me I look 35 not 55.  

if the girl is there at reception at my next ppointment, I might offer her some frienndly advice though.   

BabyVDM

mtlaurel:

I just can't understand why she questioned you at all. It was a follow-up. On top of that, I've never heard of having to schedule a pap at a certain time.

I have very low expectations of just about every stranger I come across, so I'd be miffed, but would just shake it off. Good luck talking to the manager.

 

I'm over it now.  Though somewhere way down my spirit is slightly broken.  DH has been having a grand ol time ribbing me about it and haing a good laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was.  He has reassured me I look 35 not 55.  

if the girl is there at reception at my next ppointment, I might offer her some frienndly advice though.   

technigirl

How awful!  So sorry you had to go through that.    She sounds like she needs some training (and also an introduction to general social skills).  And I must say that I've never been asked whether I still have my cycle or where I am in it when I've called to schedule a pap.  I think most receptionists assume we are smart enough not to schedule it during AF or something.  And it really doesn't matter anyways, you should still get a pap even if you don't get AF.  Ridiculous!