I loved church as a child

pepomntpat

I am so sad right now. I have been a member of a church for 8 years. We were married there, my daughter was baptized there, I have (rather had) friends there. They are no longer speaking to me because I said three things: I do not regret not eating at Chick Fil A in the last 25 years, that it would be nice to see so many people actually helping the poor, and that it is not immodest to breastfeed. It's ridiculous. I did not call names, use negative language or otherwise do anything that would hurt anyone. 8 years gone because I have an unpopular opinion. And not one person has engaged me on my opinion. They just averted their eyes when I said Hello Sunday morning. I almost cried.

And it makes me sad because I loved church when I was a little girl. I loved my Sunday School teacher. I loved memorizing Bible verses. I loved making crafts that really had nothing to do with the lesson, but were fun. I loved giving my allowance money to the church. I loved Vacation Bible School I loved volunteering and helping. I loved being surrounded by adults I trusted other than just my parents. I wanted to give that to my daughter.

How the heck did I go so wrong when I thought I had picked a loving church family? And how the heck do you start over? It's like dating, FFS! 

Sorry, this has been just weighing on my mind and I have nowhere else to put it. Here it can get lost in the dead, beaten, horse shuffle.   

CoffeeBeen

I'm sorry   I hope you find a more accepting group.  Look at it this way, even though you lost 8 years, you're sparing your LO the wasted time by finding a better church now rather than later.

ktshoff

Very sorry this has happened to you.  You will be able to find a more accepting church and raise your LO there.  At least you figured out the "real" church now and not 20 years in.

pepomntpat

LoisLane23:

Wait, you got kicked out of your church? That's awful. I voluntarily left mine a few years ago because they were too sanctimonious.

Not officially. I was just unofficially shunned. 

ougrad1

Talk to the priest/pastor?  I would.

scoutkate

I'm so sorry.  My gut reaction is that you are better off, but of course it's hard to walk away from an 8-year relationship.  I'm sure that in your position, in addition to feeling sad about severing ties, I'd also be feeling very let down by a group of people that I'm sure you trusted and looked up to not only as a church family, but as Christians. 

As an adult I haven't found a church that feels like home and and a large part of this is because of where I stand on certain political issues.  I hope that you are able to find a new church family that will respect your opinions and treat you decently!

MrsGoodkat

I'm sorry. I' just applaud you for speaking your mind. What denomination are you? There are more accepting churches out there. Maybe we can help find one in your area that you can check out.

kllrbnny

It sucks when out of all the places that could pull this HS bull its the church. Sorry that they turned out to be such a narrow minded group. Hopefully you can find a new church that is even better.

My sister and her now husband went to at least a dozen different churches before deciding on one to join. They are super happy where they ended up. I hope your story has a happy ending too.

pepomntpat

I could speak to the minister. I don't know him well at all. He just started in July. But, I consider the church to be the people I attend worship with, not just the minister. If they won't even say hello to me what's the point? I cannot say I am surprised. I know the conference has spoken up on several occasions regarding gay marriage...they did a sermon series on it. We have been considering a move for some time-actually since the sermon series on how evolution is impossible. I just didn't expect it to be like this. I had always felt like I was able to love the people there and come at it with my own experience and opinions. I am not one of those people who thinks I have to agree with everything a person stands for to have a relationship with them.

I'm United Methodist. There are a gazillion churches in the area of all denominations and I am not adverse to finding another denomination. I think we are just going to start dating. LOL! 

ougrad1

pepomntpat:

I could speak to the minister. I don't know him well at all. He just started in July. But, I consider the church to be the people I attend worship with, not just the minister. If they won't even say hello to me what's the point? I cannot say I am surprised. I know the conference has spoken up on several occasions regarding gay marriage...they did a sermon series on it. We have been considering a move for some time-actually since the sermon series on how evolution is impossible. I just didn't expect it to be like this. I had always felt like I was able to love the people there and come at it with my own experience and opinions. I am not one of those people who thinks I have to agree with everything a person stands for to have a relationship with them.

I'm United Methodist. There are a gazillion churches in the area of all denominations and I am not adverse to finding another denomination. I think we are just going to start dating. LOL! 

It sounds like you would really like the Episcopal church.  I think you would find the open mindness (is that a word) you're looking for. 

MrsGoodkat

You could try a UCC church. A quick Google search showed me open and affirming churches in your area (if you're still in the area listed under your s/n). My hometown's UCC church partners frequently with the Methodist church.

p1nklemonade

LoisLane23:

What church should I find if I believe this:

You need salvation to get to Heaven

Good works won't do the trick

Homosexuality is ok. I'm also pro choice.

drinking is ok. I like to swear sometimes.

I also like judgement free zones.

but I also like a little structure and I like it a little more contemporary. Anyone?

Please play matchmaker.

i'd say lutheran or low-episcopalian.

numeria11

Spooko:

p1nklemonade:

LoisLane23:

What church should I find if I believe this:

You need salvation to get to Heaven

Good works won't do the trick

Homosexuality is ok. I'm also pro choice.

drinking is ok. I like to swear sometimes.

I also like judgement free zones.

but I also like a little structure and I like it a little more contemporary. Anyone?

Please play matchmaker.

i'd say lutheran or low-episcopalian.

You could get this from the ELCA branch of Lutherans, but not from Missouri or Wisconsin synod. 

Yeah definitly take a look at ELCA.  They are pretty awesome, at least the ones by me.  

Missouri Synod is a bunch oh conservative crazies as far as I'm concerned.  The stuff that my DH's church/school growing up would tell them is definitly not progressive (woman can't be part of the ministry, evolution isn't real, gays are gonna burn, etc).