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Baby Names
Tips on keeping names secret?
I'm wondering if y'all have any helpful smidgens of insight as to how best keep your name choices secret from nosy family and friends.
When we named my first, we didn't find out the sex, but had both the boy's and girl's names picked out well in advance. Since we didn't have a sex to tell anyone, people (MIL in particular) got pretty irked at not having ANY inkling of what the future bundle might be like. It seemed (and I get it) that having a name and a sex in your mind gives you a little taste of what that future person might grow to be. Needless to say, we didn't keep the name a secret for long, lest my already shaky relationship with MIL be broken beyond repair (yes that is the type of thing that would do it, I dare say). However, things got worse when we actually told her: "Horatio????? You would really do that to a kid in the 21st century?" All three of her children had dreadfully popular names for the time: David Robert, Emily Anne, and DH Michael Andrew. I have nothing against these names, but I wouldn't have picked them myself.
We were dead set on Horatio Ross. Horatio was my great-great grandfather who has been a constant source of inspiration in my life since I was very young (my mom, grandma, AND great-grandma always told me fabulous stories about his life). And I genuinely LOVE the name apart from the family connection. But nobody really seemed to 100% approve. Even MY mother gave me this charming reaction with undertones of seething disapproval: "You know, when Helen [my great-grandmother] was confronted with the prospect of having to honor the Horatios of the family in her name choices, she brought home a cat and named him Horatio before announcing to her in-laws that she was pregnant. 'That way,' she used to say, 'the name was already taken.'"
For my second, we found out the sex and were delighted to have a girl whose name had already gone the rounds with Horatio and therefore been overshadowed in criticism: Eleanor Maeve. People didn't like it, but when they heard our two choices at the same time, Horatio Ross tended to bring out more objections. Especially considering that each of the aforementioned Helen's first-born female great-granddaughters (myself included), don some form of Helen in their name. I was planning on continuing the tradition in a new generation as the first to have children of her own.
Anyway, number 3 is on the way, and we really don't want to hear it this time. Horatio Ross and Eleanor Maeve will be joined by a little Harriet, Minerva, Alasdair, Orrin, or whatever WE decide. But they're all choices that are far from the passing trends the in-laws and now breeding friends are paying close attention to.
Have you ever kept your name a surprise to the grand finale? How did it go when you finally announced the name? Do you have advice for a fellow name-lover in need? Thanks in advance!
When we named my first, we didn't find out the sex, but had both the boy's and girl's names picked out well in advance. Since we didn't have a sex to tell anyone, people (MIL in particular) got pretty irked at not having ANY inkling of what the future bundle might be like. It seemed (and I get it) that having a name and a sex in your mind gives you a little taste of what that future person might grow to be. Needless to say, we didn't keep the name a secret for long, lest my already shaky relationship with MIL be broken beyond repair (yes that is the type of thing that would do it, I dare say). However, things got worse when we actually told her: "Horatio????? You would really do that to a kid in the 21st century?" All three of her children had dreadfully popular names for the time: David Robert, Emily Anne, and DH Michael Andrew. I have nothing against these names, but I wouldn't have picked them myself.
We were dead set on Horatio Ross. Horatio was my great-great grandfather who has been a constant source of inspiration in my life since I was very young (my mom, grandma, AND great-grandma always told me fabulous stories about his life). And I genuinely LOVE the name apart from the family connection. But nobody really seemed to 100% approve. Even MY mother gave me this charming reaction with undertones of seething disapproval: "You know, when Helen [my great-grandmother] was confronted with the prospect of having to honor the Horatios of the family in her name choices, she brought home a cat and named him Horatio before announcing to her in-laws that she was pregnant. 'That way,' she used to say, 'the name was already taken.'"
For my second, we found out the sex and were delighted to have a girl whose name had already gone the rounds with Horatio and therefore been overshadowed in criticism: Eleanor Maeve. People didn't like it, but when they heard our two choices at the same time, Horatio Ross tended to bring out more objections. Especially considering that each of the aforementioned Helen's first-born female great-granddaughters (myself included), don some form of Helen in their name. I was planning on continuing the tradition in a new generation as the first to have children of her own.
Anyway, number 3 is on the way, and we really don't want to hear it this time. Horatio Ross and Eleanor Maeve will be joined by a little Harriet, Minerva, Alasdair, Orrin, or whatever WE decide. But they're all choices that are far from the passing trends the in-laws and now breeding friends are paying close attention to.
Have you ever kept your name a surprise to the grand finale? How did it go when you finally announced the name? Do you have advice for a fellow name-lover in need? Thanks in advance!
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Re: Tips on keeping names secret?
I don't really have any advice. I told almost everyone before hand and just didn't let anyone's comments sway me on it because I really loved it. I guess I just figured if they didn't like it they'd just have to get used to it.
FWIW I love Minerva.
Good luck with everything!
When people asked what we were going to name DS, we just told them we had a few names we liked but hadn't decided 100% and probably wouldn't until we met him. If they asked what names we were considering, I'd throw out 2-3 names that popped into my head at the moment (usually names I liked but DH didn't, heheh). Or I'd say, "Well, I really like Ciaran (my fave boy name), but DH doesn't, so we're still discussing." Total lie- we knew DS would be named Gareth two years before he was even conceived. But sometimes a white lie like that helps keep the peace.
FWIW I looove your kids' names and the choices you're considering. My faves for the new baby are Alasdair (on my own long list, only I think I prefer the Alastair version) and Minerva. I taught an awesome girl named Minerva who went by the nn Minnie.
We just kept telling people we hadn't decided but, even when we did, we weren't going to tell anyone until after DS was born. Early on, I talked name ideas with my girlfriends (mainly because my husband would not discuss names until we knew the baby's sex) but after that we just kept mum about it. For whatever reason, we did not get too much push back. I think it's because most people suspected the name we would choose and they ended up being right. We named DS after his grandfathers. It was a wonderful moment to tell my dad DS' name (DH's father had, unfortunately, passed a few years ago). I think my dad was the only one who didn't suspect we would name DS after him so it was really special to see his reaction. It was one of the moments in the hours after DS was born that I will never forget.
You sound very strong in your convictions about naming your children and I think that's awesome. No matter how people react to #3's name, keep that conviction strong and know that they will love LO to pieces even if they aren't crazy about his/her name.
Don't tell them the name. That's the best way to keep it secret. We refer to our LO as Bertha or Jethro when anyone asks. My brother referred to his kids as "Worker #1 and Worker #2" before they were born. Don't tell and there will be no drama.
We went through a hundred different "it's either this OR this" with DD#1's name. I think we announced a new set every couple weeks, because I was so indecisive. When we finally settled on her name (about a month before she was born), we told everyone that we had a name, but it was a secret. Nobody really seemed to mind (of course, we weren't Team Green, so it was the "only" surprise).
With DD#2, we announced her name when we chose it because we wanted people to get acclimated to it. DD#1 is Monica, which, while not very popular right now, is very "normal." DD#2 is going to be Tallulah, which is a lot quirkier. We figured it was only fair to give everyone time to get used to it. (It's actually been pretty well-recieved. We get odd looks from strangers, but many of our family members really like it).
Honestly, it's your third child. They already know your naming style, and they know it's something that doesn't suit their tastes. I think by now they know better to hope for a little Chloe or Aidan. They probably won't react much at all this time around.
This exactly!
This exactly. Pretend you have no clue. We told people some name ideas we had early on and we got so many negative reactions, we decided to just stop it altogether. I think we eventually told just a couple of people the name that we were 95% set on near the very end, but that was only people we knew weren't going to bad-mouth it. (Like my BFF and a couple friends). When people asked, we just said, you know we're not sure yet.
We have 2 we are choosing from, but we're not making a final decision until the hospital, so we're telling people that we'll announce it after we meet her so we're not swayed either way.
You can tell them that you haven't decided yet or they will just have to wait and see. We kept DD2's name to ourselves and just made up something attrocious or outrageously fake (McFred or Gertrude McGillicutty) and just left it at that.
'Til He returns, or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I stand.