Visitation schedule question

preggersin2011

Probably asked and answered a zillion times over, but what is your court order written like? My lawyer says it will be better if we agree on a visitation schedule rather than having the judge order one. LO is 9 months now, and I know things change and they get older. Also, I'm not sure yet if he is fighting for join physical custody....Oh and I do not celebrate xmas but her dad does.

supermansmommy

Most states have recommended guidelines for visitation based on a child's age/developmental needs. It's pretty great actually because in my case it supported my wishes so I was able to send it along with my proposed plan and say "see, I'm not crazy or selfish!". So I'd start there.

My son is 2 and our schedule is as folllows (STBXH and I are in the process of divorcing and just separated 2 weeks ago):

Visitation schedule months 1-3
Dad picks up every morning and takes DS to daycare, I pick up in the afternoon and DS lives with me.
Thursday nights Dad has DS for the evening. He picks up at daycare, takes him home, does dinner, etc and I pick him up before bedtime.
Every other weekend Dad has DS for both weekend days, but not nights.

Months 4-6
Dad picks up every morning and takes DS to daycare, I pick up in the afternoon and DS lives with me.
Thursday nights Dad has DS for the evening and keeps him overnight.
Every other weekend Dad has DS for both weekend days, but not nights.

Months 7-9
Dad picks up every morning and takes DS to daycare, I pick up in the afternoon and DS lives with me.
Thursday nights Dad has DS for the night
Every other weekend Dad has DS for both weekend days with nights.

This plan is set up for consistency and a gradual transition from our standard daily schedule (STBX always took to daycare, I picked up) and provides time for DS to establish my house as "home" before doing overnights with his dad. It also gives his dad a few months to get his household in order, show that he's consistently going to therapy and truly wants what's best for our son.

Oh, at some point DS will be transitioning to a new daycare center which is right next to my office. Once that happens Dad will not do daycare drop offs.

Hope this helps!!

FyreFlyeRush

We don't have a perm schedule yet, and Texas has no set provision for children under three. My LO is two months. Also, we were never married and broke up long before the baby arrived. Judges rule differently for that situation.  Right now, it's like this:

Every Tues/Thurs 5-7 and every other Sat/Sun 10-1. I drop off and pick up at his parents' house. It's a pretty common arrangement with the exception of Sundays. Most NCPs just get Saturdays. Our perm orders will gradually increase to the Standard Possession Order unless we can agree on something else. I'm in favor of strict visitation in paper, and adjusting if need be. Is rather have less visitation and add to it than more visitation and have it be too much for LO to handle. Example, he doesn't like the every other day aspect. He gets really upset by the change in his routine, so we're looking at every Mon/Tues instead of Tues/Thurs so visits are always back to back. However, if things go to crap, we have the original order to fall back on.

blueyedsweety28

my LO is 6 months and our court order is that his father picks LO up at my house at 5 PM and then I pick LO up at his house at 7 PM every single night except for Tuesdays .. obviously that is not ideal, so we agreed to Wed, Thu, Fri from 3-7 PM one week and Wed, Sat, Sun the next week .. however, that only lasted a month and now we are back to following the court order ..

mamastich

blueyedsweety28:

my LO is 6 months and our court order is that his father picks LO up at my house at 5 PM and then I pick LO up at his house at 7 PM every single night except for Tuesdays .. obviously that is not ideal, so we agreed to Wed, Thu, Fri from 3-7 PM one week and Wed, Sat, Sun the next week .. however, that only lasted a month and now we are back to following the court order ..

Oi, this sounds so intense!

preggersin2011

I haven't been able to find any guidelines for my state. I found other state's guidelines and they all conflict with one another. Some allow for two over night visits in a row (say 1st and 3rd weekend fri 6p -sun 6p) others allow a day/night/day(9a sat-6psun) visit and others don't allow any overnights until the age of two. I'll obviously see what my lawyers input is but I'm not sure about the too much or too little time part at her age.

mdotm0904

We had a temporary schedule and LO was 7 months at the time. He had her every Wed from 5:30-8:30. And then a gradually increasing weekend visitation scale. So at first it was every Sunday from 1-7 for two months. Then it alternated weekend days, so one week he had her Saturday 1-7, and the next week Sunday 1-7. That was supposed to be for another 2 months. Then it'd increase to one overnight for a couple of months and then full weekends. Overnights wouldn't have started until after she turned 1. However this was just until we went to trial, he wanted equal time. But I ended up getting sole legal and primary ohysical custody so he has her Wed evening 5:30-8:30 and every other weekend. 

mdotm0904

Our holiday schedule is somewhat detailed too but we essentially split all major holidays down the middle. I have mothers day. He has fathers day. If the Monday following his weekend is a holiday then his weekend extends to Monday instead of Sunday. We alternate her birthday and Easter each year.