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I really feel like I'm one and done.

pookie2005pookie2005
in Parenting

Dh and I have been saying for the last few years that we weren't sure we wanted another but that we were leaving our options open. 

DD is 5.5 now and we have been talking a lot and we both feel like we are just really happy with how things are. We started talking about our options for more permanent birth control. I have Mirena right now.

There is no point to this post except to get it off my shoulders. We feel great about the decision but are both dreading telling our parents. They are all very much in the "when are you giving us another grandchild???" camp. I know it's not their lives or business but if you went through a similar decision...how did you break the news without too much grief?  

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Re: I really feel like I'm one and done.

  • tarebear9891tarebear9891 member
    You have to do what's right for your family. And tell everyone else that your family planning isn't their business. I guess don't say anything unless it gets brought up again. Then you can simply say you feel that your family is complete.
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  • BoatsNHoesBoatsNHoes member
    There's no shame in that. Tell them if they'd like to gestate your baby, deliver it and raise it until adulthood that you'll consider another baby.

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    Layne-May 6, 2013

    Callie-February 14, 2011

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  • LovesMMLovesMM member

    We are one and done. We get the whole, "Oh you don't really have kids until you have at least 2" That's fine. I'm okay with not "really having kids"

    Pregnancy was a biitch and I loathed the newborn stage. I love my DD with all my heart and I couldn't imaging life without her, but I A'INT DOING IT AGAIN! 

     

    I feel your pain. You do what's right for YOU GUYS. 

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  • pookie2005pookie2005
    imageLovesMM:

    We are one and done. We get the whole, "Oh you don't really have kids until you have at least 2" That's fine. I'm okay with not "really having kids"

    Pregnancy was a biitch and I loathed the newborn stage. I love my DD with all my heart and I couldn't imaging life without her, but I A'INT DOING IT AGAIN! 

     

    I feel your pain. You do what's right for YOU GUYS. 

    Oh gosh...this. I have always felt terrible because I HATED being pregnant. DOn't get me wrong...i'd do it again if I really wanted another kid but boy...I was not a fan. The newborn times were the worst for me. I suffer from anxiety so sitting alone at home with her constantly not knowing what I was doing and over-analyzing every issue was just torture. She was colicky too. When they can talk and tell you what's wrong, it is SO much better.  

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  • LovesMMLovesMM member
    imagepookie2005:
    imageLovesMM:

    We are one and done. We get the whole, "Oh you don't really have kids until you have at least 2" That's fine. I'm okay with not "really having kids"

    Pregnancy was a biitch and I loathed the newborn stage. I love my DD with all my heart and I couldn't imaging life without her, but I A'INT DOING IT AGAIN! 

     

    I feel your pain. You do what's right for YOU GUYS. 

    Oh gosh...this. I have always felt terrible because I HATED being pregnant. DOn't get me wrong...i'd do it again if I really wanted another kid but boy...I was not a fan. The newborn times were the worst for me. I suffer from anxiety so sitting alone at home with her constantly not knowing what I was doing and over-analyzing every issue was just torture. She was colicky too. When they can talk and tell you what's wrong, it is SO much better.  

    We had the colicky baby for 2 months and I suffered from severe PPD so we are very much in the same mind set. If I really wanted more kids, I'd suffer through pregnancy and the dreaded newborn state, but I don't and neither does MH. No where in any books does is say you have to have more than one kid. As much as my daughter gets irritating (lets face it, they all do) I'm loving the toddler stage way more than the newborn

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  • BlueRidge8BlueRidge8 member

    We are one and done and are content with it. 

    My pregnancy was fine, DD was a great baby, we just don't want another child for our family. DH has been snipped. We have it a bit easier with family because we told them upfront that we were pretty sure we'd just have one. 

    Next up: puppy. 

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  • zeptattoozeptattoo member

    We made that announcement before Snuggle born.  My mom was the only one who has tried to change my mind.  I told her to go bother my sister and her husband (who were in the room). 

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  • missymomissymo member

    We are also one and done! We hear all the time about how we are "depriving our child of the sibling relationship," or sumshit.  It's so annoying!! 

    I wasn't that big of a fan of pregnancy (especially 1st tri - ugh), and the newborn stage was really, really difficult.  I am petrified of going through that again.  

    I really feel like my family is complete, and wish people would just mind their own business about it.  I am constantly second guessing myself (which I normally don't do) because so many people try to steer me into having another. 


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    C is 3 years old

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  • JMC11511JMC11511 member

    We are torn on this. I didn't particularly enjoy pregnancy, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't my favorite thing in the world either. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I had carried LO full-term, just to have that experience of being 40 weeks pregnant. Maybe that's stupid or selfish or something, but that's how I feel for now. And the bigger he gets the more I think how I will miss the little baby stages. I think I would love to have another one. 

    BUT. We live in California where it costs a small fortune to do anything at all. So unless DH gets a much better paying job (he has a good job and we do okay), we will probably just have one.

    I agree with PPs about doing what's right for you guys. The opinions of other people shouldn't matter. FWIW, I have to remind myself of that all.the.time. 

    Because you're mine, I walk the line....
    Landry Mark: 11/5/11
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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    You are not alone. I am 90% sure I'm one and done. I'm 35 and going through a divorce and I'm so thankful for beautiful, healthy DD. She was a tough baby and cried a lot and I don't want to go through that again. I love the age she's at now. I just know that I'm done, despite pressure from friends since it seems everyone I know is pregnant with #2 right now. GL to you in your decision!
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  • Arcadia1114Arcadia1114 member

    We are also one and done. Our reasoning is mostly due to my age and finances. (dh's company only has two more years of contracts and I'm almost 36.).   I enjoy having enough time for both dh and ds. Dh was an only child and has a great relationship with his folks. I have a sister who, if we were not related, I would not talk to at all. It comes down to what works for you and your family.  

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  • SLO2005SLO2005

    We are most likely one and done too.  I just love how everyone feels the need to voice their opinion to you about how "you have to have another one your child can't grow up with out siblings".  But I am sure no one would be interested in paying daycare or college for our next child

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