14 weeks miscarriage

SittinUnderAPalmTree

I am so sorry.  I had a "missed miscarriage" with my first at 10 weeks and it was devastating.  DO NOT blame yourself.  You did nothing wrong.  I remember that lost feeling very well.  While the sadness never goes away, it does get easier with time. My thoughts are with you.

Chocodoxies

fieldofwildflwrs:

I dont understand. I was doing everything right, gaining weight perfectly eating correctly. I dont know what happened.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please allow yourself you deal with this in any way that you like. If you want to clean your house at 3:00am (that is what I did) then do it. If you are angry, be angry. Don't force yourself to feel and act how you think you are supposed to, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I don't know what the cause of your, or my four, losses is but I do know what it is not. You did not do anything to cause this. This is not your fault. Your did not drink coffee that caused your LO's heart to stop. You did not sleep funny, or eat something. You did not exercise to much or too little. This is not the result of anything you did or did not do.  This is a horrible thing to go through, I've been there and I totally lost my mind for a whole year. I developed agoraphobia after I had convinced myself that something I had done had caused me to stop my baby's heart. I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't grocery shop, I couldn't go to a movie or get a job.  Please, don't do that to yourself. Grieve, cry or get angry, or scream, or sleep for a week, but don't tell yourself that you caused this.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I will tell you that I have a beautiful and very healthy DD and another on the way after four losses. The loss of one child does not mean you will never hold your baby. I am so very very sorry for your loss. 

ObLaDi

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Cherry1111

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the first thing we do is try to figure out what we did wrong, but please know it was absolutely nothing you did. The other ladies have given you great advice about the miscarriage/pregnancy board. My hugs go out to you. 

jo4janet

I am so terribly sorry to hear that. T&P to you and your SO.

FreyaWin2382

I am so so sorry for your loss.

As for "what you did wrong", the answer is absolutely nothing. The majority of the time the woman has absolutely no impact on whether a miscarriage is going to happen or not, most losses end in chromosomal abnormalities and you did nothing wrong to make it happen.

The best advice I can give you is to take all the time you need to grieve the loss of your sweet LO and keep being open with your DH about how you both are feeling. If you haven't done so yet, the loss boards on the bump are amazing and those ladies helped me tremendously following both of my miscarriages.

((HUGS)) 

cfarrell20211

I am so sorry!