MoM's with preemies- development question

mamatotwins0812

My LO's are exactly 1 month old now and were born at 33 w, 4 days. Now that they are getting older I am loving to watch them grow and start to develop personalities etc. My first born, twin a, was 4 lb 10 oz. He appears to be very much your "average baby". He is very alert at times, looks around with his big eyes, has awake periods, happy periods, fussy periods etc. His brother, twin b, was born at 3 lbs 9 oz. I would describe him as average as well, but he definitely seems to be reaching his milestones slower. He isn't as "engaged" (as engaged as a 4 week old can be) and rarely makes eye contact. He is very alert at times but stares off more, taking in the sights rather than me. He seems to also get very frustrated at times, grunting and bearing down like he's making poopie but isn't (not constipated either, just mimicking this action). I was concerned as to if these are potentially very early signs of a developmental issue or possibly autism etc. I know it's so hard to diagnose this early on but was wondering if anyone else has experience with multiple preemies where 1 developed slower than the other and what I'm seeing in him is normal? I would love to hear some thoughts. TIA!! 

Mrs.Greg

Its so hard but try not to compare your babies to each other. My girls are very different in their personalities and abilities. My Fiona smiled much earlier than Anna. But Anna was reaching out and grabbing toys and shaking them much earlier than Fiona. Even now, Fiona has been walking unassisted for over a month and Anna is only able to take, at most, five steps. Babies develop differently and its so hard when you have two side by side that are exactly the same age. You'll compare everything they do and you'll worry about the one who seems behind. I still do it. I'm sure you're little guy is fine!!  

Missa_g

Every baby is different, including multiples.  Your babies aren't even to their EDD yet so everything is definitely within normal range.  My A baby has the neck strength of a 4 month old and the personal skills of a 2 month old.  My B baby is the opposite, neck strength of a 2 month old (if even) but fantastic personal skills.   

mrsemily08

They're not even DUE yet. Don't stress and just enjoy the babies

Jen0204

I agree with everyone else.  The difference between my two girls is fascinating to me.  Even at almost 7 months they have such different personalities.  DD1 will be crawling any day now, while DD2 just shrieks until someone picks her up

Also, keep in mind that when you read/hear what age babies "should" be doing things, that's just an average.  Milestones are based on a bell curve, and there's usually more then a month deviation on either end.  So at one month old I would say it's impossible for your baby to be "behind" on anything.  Being born over 6 weeks early you also need to keep in mind that they could do things 6 weeks later then most babies.  Most of the babies on my BMB had rolled over before my girls did and they were only 4 weeks premature (so the babies on my BMB are all 4-8 weeks younger then mine).  Yet now DD1 is doing her own style of crawling and I think only 1 other baby on my BMB has been working at crawling. It also has nothing to do with them being preemies (although that could make them do things later) - I'm sure even full-term babies develop on different schedules and do things at different times.

And I would be very, very careful about throwing out terms like autism.  Of course any of our babies could be autistic or have developmental delays, but personally I would rather not even put that into my doctor's head and have them start looking for things that may or may not be there.  If they see an issue I'm sure they'll mention it to us.

mamatotwins0812

Thanks all. I really did figure as much but it's so easy to worry about any and everything. I always joke that we worry about conceiving, then all throughout pregnancy, and then the worrying never stops once theyre here. Maybe when they're 40 I might start to rest easy . And I'm glad that I was reminded not to compare them because honestly it seemed so easy to do since like pp's said, they are exactly the same age so why wouldn't you? Thanks for putting my mind at ease a little bit though!!

Reilly626

Don't compare it's too early and you will make yourself nuts!

tarajayne

My boys are developing very differently and have very different personalities.  A rolled over at 5 weeks, O hasn't hardly even tried.  O smiled and babbled much earlier than A, but the other day A laughed for the first time.  A almost always out eats O and A was over a pound smaller when they were born (incidentally he is now less than a half a pound under him).  O kicks and splashes and loves his bath, while A seems indifferent.  I don't worry about it.  I just enjoy the fact that I have 2 very different children

Mrs. Alice

mamatotwins0812:

My LO's are exactly 1 month old now and were born at 33 w, 4 days. Now that they are getting older I am loving to watch them grow and start to develop personalities etc. My first born, twin a, was 4 lb 10 oz. He appears to be very much your "average baby". He is very alert at times, looks around with his big eyes, has awake periods, happy periods, fussy periods etc. His brother, twin b, was born at 3 lbs 9 oz. I would describe him as average as well, but he definitely seems to be reaching his milestones slower. He isn't as "engaged" (as engaged as a 4 week old can be) and rarely makes eye contact. He is very alert at times but stares off more, taking in the sights rather than me. He seems to also get very frustrated at times, grunting and bearing down like he's making poopie but isn't (not constipated either, just mimicking this action). I was concerned as to if these are potentially very early signs of a developmental issue or possibly autism etc. I know it's so hard to diagnose this early on but was wondering if anyone else has experience with multiple preemies where 1 developed slower than the other and what I'm seeing in him is normal? I would love to hear some thoughts. TIA!! 

What?  No, your baby has not even reached his due date rate.  As another mom of preemies I know it's difficult to relax about those kinds of things, but seriously they sound just like normal newborns.  Enjoy them.  Social interation doesn't usually develop much until 4-6 weeks and as preemies you should be adjusting their age.  One of my twins tends to do things about 2-3 weeks behind his brother.  If you are concerned talk to your pedi about getting a referral for Early Childhood Intervention evalution.

snoangel79

It is too early! My kids are somewhat different. The peanut (girl) seems ahead of my big lil guy. She talks more and rolls from back to front now. They both giggle, roll from front to back, babble, hold objects etc. 

The doctor will tell you if they seem behind also btw.