Question

sarah_e87

For those of you that have experienced multiple losses over the years, do the anniversaries of your losses and EDDs get easier or are they just as painful as time passes?

Rachaeleigh

Honestly, with my first loss I was young and didn't know what was going on in life. So, that EDD didn't cross my mind much. Right after my second loss I started back to school and was working. I remember the EDD passing and being sad, but I've coped with it fairly well (it's been 4 years). For my 3rd loss, the EDD is 11/18 and I'm NOT looking forward to it. I think I could still live in some type of denial after 2 losses, but not now after 3. Not sure if that makes sense, but I guess time helped with the others so I'm hoping it helps with the most recent.

miakrita

I am with Rachael.  Our stories could be the same.  I had one loss early on in college.  The only thing that reminds me of that loss is cherry blossoms because the clinic where I had the D&C done was on a street lined with cherry trees and it was May so they were blossoming.  But the EDD doesn't get me. 

I had a chemical pregnancy 3/22/12.  The EDD for that hasn't rolled around yet.

 This last loss though I might be more sad about.  We had started to plan our life around having a baby in March.   

Laurakat81

It's still not easy but they are easier and I suspect that as the years go on and on it will continue to get a little easier. I should be planning for a 2 year old little girl's birthday  in just a couple weeks. They are always on my mind. I know exactly how old they all "should" be and I don't forget a single date...be it a EDD, the loss date, the day we saw them on the ultrasound or heard their little heart beating. But it's not as unbearable anymore. I can enjoy some sweet memories now and know that I'm grateful to have any time with them even if it wasn't how I wanted.

(((Hugs)))

miakrita

^^ Unbelievably moving response. 

ksmakal

It's different for me, and I want to be sensitive to mom's on here have yet to hold their angels.

sarah_e87

Thank you for the responses. It makes me feel a bit better knowing that I'm not alone in remembering dates. This was the first year that the anniversary of my EDD from my first loss really bothered me (to the point that people noticed that I wasn't myself). I guess it's a combination of things...the fact that I should have been planning for a 4 year old's birthday, the fact that my niece (who will be 4 next month) is living with me, the fact that I'm seeing someone who has young children, the reason I lost my first pregnancy, the fact that I lost a second pregnancy, and the fact that my husband left me because of my infertility and miscarriages.

Laurakat - That was beautifully written.