Tell me it gets easier

kzawisl

The twins are 8 weeks old. I am back 'at' work (I telecommute, but work set hours and am tied to the phone/computer all day). I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a row since before they were born. I'm a total *** to my husband because I'm mad that he can't lactate (not really, but you get the picture). And I've spent the better part of today ugly crying because I'm so tired.

 Does it make me a bad mom that I want a 'night off'? I just want one 6 hour span where I can sleep and someone else feeds the babies or gets up when they cry. I feel horrible for even saying that. 

elizabeth0705

My twins aren't here yet, but that definitely sounds normal to me. Moms of singletons feel like this from time to time...I am sure it is unavoidable with twins!

LadyGolfer523

It does get easier.  I promise.  Those first 3 months were rough.  I have been loving the 5-8 month stage.  They are more independent and mosty STTN (knocks on wood). 

We say the last 5 months have gone by faster than those first 3.  And you DO deserve some free time for your sanity.

LALASEPT05

Don't feel horrible. That is totally normal. For me that age was really tough. The not sleeping was really hard on me and really stressed me out. I think at about 12 weeks or so things did get better in terms of the sleeping. They started doing a long stretch about 6 hours or so. Being a Mom of twins is so hard. You will develop methods and learn how to manage them and things will get easier. But even now they are 2 and there are times where I say to myself and to DH 'I just need a break'. Hang in there - we're all here for you!

Hunter22

It gets easier, it really does. and you are not a bad person for wanting a night off. Even a new mom with one baby wishes for that lol! I didn't bf so I am

Sure that is adding to the amount of tiredness/stress you are feeling as well. maybe pump and let DH do one of the midnight feedings to give you a break so you can get a few more hours of sleep straight. I've heard people who work from home or who stay at home with the baby say they don't want DH to have to wake up BC they have to go to work in the morning, but your body needs te rest and doesn't exactly care that you are home working and not in an office.

 Everyone told me it got easier around six months so I found myself counting down to that date which in some ways I felt like I was wishing away their babyhood or whatever. My girls had sever reflux though and I think they would have been much easier by three months if they didn't. they next 3-4 weeks you will see a huge difference. Hang in there you are doing great!  

PurrCrasher

My babies aren't here yet but for what it's worth I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much. I imagine that feeling as you do is completely normal as 8 weeks of sleep deprevation can make anyone ugly cry (I'm always an ugly crier, I envy those that can look pretty and miserable at the same time). I laughed out loud at your being mad at your husband because "he can't lactate" because that is something I can totally see myself getting upset about. Is it possible to pump and store up enough milk so that DH or someone can take over a feeding (even for one night) and let you get some peaceful sleep? Perhaps now that your babies are 8 weeks old that will adjust to a bottle feeding (of BM) well enough to give you a little break. Regardless, I'm sure it gets better. I feel like all the tried and true MoMs say that this is the hardest time. You can do it!

phillygirl526

I just said to DH the other night, "can you believe how far we've come?!" They change so much, so quickly. It seems like just yesterday we were up every two hours. Now they sleep through the night in their cribs with no problem. Some people say it doesn't really get easier, just different, but I think it's gotten a bit easier.

kzawisl

Thanks, everyone. I am exclusively pumping, but still having to supplement. DH does get up to help me with the middle of te night feeding, and then goes back to bed while I pump. He does help a fair amount; I am just irrationally cray-cray right now. I totally see why we make toddlers take naps.  

pea-kay

that is exactly why we hired a college student to be a night nanny when i went back to work. just two nights a week for a few weeks so i could get at least SOME sleep.

it will get better!

mars724

it gets easier, I promise. Around 10 weeks mine started sleeping way better. Can you pump and have daddy do a middle of the night feeding?

I'm not working now, so I get up with them, but they sleep from 7pm-7am while getting up once to eat.

It gets better, I promise! 

Breezy8407

It does. I felt the exact same as you only a few weeks ago. I started back at work at 11 weeks, and feared how I would handle it all with still waking in the middle of the night. Almost exactly at 12 weeks, they started sleeping from 9-3am, then it kept getting longer. One day they slept from 9-5am - it was amazing. Now since 12 weeks they have been sleeping until at least 4:30am. (We feed at 8:30pm and they are usually sleeping by 9:15pm for the night.)

Once they dropped their night feeding, I stopped pumping then too, unless I needed to for comfort. We have had to supplement from the beginning, and now I am almost weaned completely from the pump.

Don't feel guilty for wanting to get away. I felt that way and felt guilty, but I was reassured by friends with singletons that they felt the same. We all need a break no matter how much you love your babies. 

Now at 15 weeks, they have stopped crying so much - or at least we can sort of figure out what they are crying about. They still don't nap great, but are smiling and talking (to each other even!) so that stuff helps. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments where I just want to cry (and still do sometimes) when I am exhausted from work and they are both screaming, haven't eaten dinner and it's 9:30pm.... but those moments are happening less and less.

kiwi443

It gets better. Repeat that to yourself as many times a day as necessary and one day, you won't need to anymore.

erniebufflo

You are NOT a bad mom for wanting a night off. Having twins is not easy. Be kind to yourself, and hang in there!

leapgirl8

It's already better for us. Weeks 6-9 were very hard, IMO.  

lovemygs

I hear you. I'm exhausted. Can't wait til they're stinky teenagers and I have to work at getting them out of bed

MrsLnt

I was an ugly crying exhausted mess when mine were 8 weeks old and I wasn't even back at work. MH helped with overnight feedings on the weekends but I hated to ask him to do too much since he was working and commuting and doing as much as possible. 

Will they take a bottle? Is there anyone who can stay one night and feed them bottles overnight?

It does get better, I promise. Hopefully as you near 12w, the light at the end of the tunnel is easier to see.  

benz2010

This is what has worked for me and saved a TON of time in the middle of the night...I bought a pump bra from medela, didn't want to spend the 33 bucks but holy cow best money I've spent! And I tried making my own did not work. I keep the pump on my side of the bed, hubby gets the monitor on his side he gets up and gets one baby, changes her, swaddles her back up, and hands her to me, then he throws the pre-measured out formula into pre-measured bottle with water. While he does all this I set up the bra and pump then place a boppy in my lap with baby facing away from me, I prop up her bottle, then turn on pump. I am completely hands free to fix pump or fix bottle. Burping is a little bit of a challenge but it all works great. Then DH goes and gets the other and repeats except he feeds her. We are usually done with whole routine in 30 min or less. Hope this helps some! Sorry I wrote a book!!

angelfire02

Holy god don't feel bad about that.  I want an entire day and night off.   It's so hard and until they sleep through the night you feel like you aren't going to make it, but one night they will, and you will sleep, and life will look a lot better.   Hang in there girl you are through the toughest!!!

Fancy3Face

Aw, I think we all remember those days.  They're rough, but it does get better.  Then it gets tough again when they're toddlers   Not the same tough though. 

Hang in there, you're doing an amazing job! 

E&RMommy

It gets sooooo much easier.

Hang in there.  Once you hit 9 months you're golden.  Even 4-6 months old is much better.

EPing is hard.  I'd sit there and doze off in those middle of the night sessions.

You can do it!!!