Vent: Super annoyed when I know I should be grateful

MommaP12

DS is not even 3.5 years old yet.  All his baby stuff is in great condition, I was team green with him too so I have all the neutral NB, 0-3, etc. stuff washed from him and put away along with a million blankets, burp clothes, bottles (just got new nipples), etc.  I have more for baby #2 than I did for him because I got a RnP off Craigslist and I got an Ergo on MamaBargains (we only had the awful Bjorn with him).  I have bought plenty of NB and size 1 diapers when Target's had sales and I've had coupons.  I am VERY prepared for this baby and need NOTHING.  I have no room for anything more because we live in a 2 bedroom condo so baby won't even have its own room.

All that said, my mom is throwing me a "sprinkle."  I HATE SPRINKLES.  I don't even like showers and have said to DH every time I've had a shower to go to "I'm so glad I'm done having showers and being the center of attention."  Well, here I go again.  I think it's tacky to have this with DS so young and with me being team green.  They can't buy the baby clothes unless they buy neutral which I don't need/want and I don't have room to store whatever else people could get like toiletries and diapers.  I know I should be grateful but I also know this is mostly about my mom and not me.  I TOLD her I am not going to any events past this coming weekend since I'll be due in about a month as of next Monday, and here she throws this like 2 weeks before my due date.  I should have been very clear with her at about 4 months that I DO NOT WANT anything - though she probably wouldn't have listened anyway.  I know - I'm an ungrateful Wh0re. 

EGMphoto

Hmm. Yeah. I'd just accept the sprinkle and say thank you. If people want to give you gifts, accept them.

3monkeysmama

You should be grateful.  Suck it up and say thank you.

hmp1

Maybe you will get some cute things or stuff you can return for bigger diapers when you need them. DH made a rule that he doesn't want any "special" pictures taken of the new guy in hand-me-downs. He doesn't want our Christmas morning pics of DS2 to have the same Christmas pjs DS1 wore 2 years ago. I totally see his point (and I'm always on board with shopping). Having a few new things won't hurt. 

DelaBella

It's nice of people to come and bring you gifts, but I agree that it's tacky when your son is still so young and you didn't know the sex of either baby beforehand. Sounds like you made your desires known to your mother already, so if you say this more about your mother than you, I have no reason to disagree with that. I totally understand you being annoyed. I was really happy to have had my last shower -- I hate being the center of attention, too!

KellersPrag

DelaBella:

It's nice of people to come and bring you gifts, but I agree that it's tacky when your son is still so young and you didn't know the sex of either baby beforehand. Sounds like you made your desires known to your mother already, so if you say this more about your mother than you, I have no reason to disagree with that. I totally understand you being annoyed. I was really happy to have had my last shower -- I hate being the center of attention, too!

Not really when she didn't ASK for the shower or gifts.

OP, just say thank you and accept what you get. It might not be so bad for you.

mich2640

I get what you are saying but since you didn't ask for it, I don't think it is tacky. Just think of it as a way to celebrate the upcoming arrival of new baby. You can always exchange whatever gifts you don't need/have space for. 

MommaP12

KellersPrag:

DelaBella:

It's nice of people to come and bring you gifts, but I agree that it's tacky when your son is still so young and you didn't know the sex of either baby beforehand. Sounds like you made your desires known to your mother already, so if you say this more about your mother than you, I have no reason to disagree with that. I totally understand you being annoyed. I was really happy to have had my last shower -- I hate being the center of attention, too!

Not really when she didn't ASK for the shower or gifts.

OP, just say thank you and accept what you get. It might not be so bad for you.

 

I will of course suck it up and be gracious and grateful.  I'm just so crabby/irritable this pregnancy and really planned on going into "hiding" the last month.  I guess I'll at least get to eat cake, ha. Thanks for listening ladies. 

tinyhumantoe

Um.......... aren't 99.999999999999% of the vents on here first world problems?  I hate when posters try to belittle other posters with this line.  We talk about cake, mucus plugs, meanies at work, farts, etc., but TB isn't an appropriate place for a vent about a pushy mother post??  Puhlease   I'd also like to point out the OP said she is annoyed when she knows she should be grateful.  It's just a vent.  I feel awful at 32 weeks... I can't even imagine how I will feel at 38 weeks.

OP:  My mom does stuff like this.  Weddings and babies really bring it out in her.  Sometimes I wonder when it will finally snowball into a confrontation with her.  I just let her get by with it for now....

I think the biggest issue here is your mom's blatant disregard for your wishes.  At this point, I don't think there is much you can do (did she already send out invites?).  I begged my mom not to have a shower for me, and she flat out told me she didn't care how I felt.  I finally broke down crying and it finally got through to her how stressful center-of-attention events are for me.  I *think* it worked.  I guess we'll see. 

I will say that when my bridal shower was over it was a huge relief.  It turned out to be very nice and relaxed shower, and I really regretted all of the anxiety I had in the months leading up to it.  Try not to get yourself too worked up about it.  I would be annoyed too, but what's done is done. 

MommaP12

tinyhumantoe:

Um.......... aren't 99.999999999999% of the vents on here first world problems?  I hate when posters try to belittle other posters with this line.  We talk about cake, mucus plugs, meanies at work, farts, etc., but TB isn't an appropriate place for a vent about a pushy mother post??  Puhlease   I'd also like to point out the OP said she is annoyed when she knows she should be grateful.  It's just a vent.  I feel awful at 32 weeks... I can't even imagine how I will feel at 38 weeks.

OP:  My mom does stuff like this.  Weddings and babies really bring it out in her.  Sometimes I wonder when it will finally snowball into a confrontation with her.  I just let her get by with it for now....

I think the biggest issue here is your mom's blatant disregard for your wishes.  At this point, I don't think there is much you can do (did she already send out invites?).  I begged my mom not to have a shower for me, and she flat out told me she didn't care how I felt.  I finally broke down crying and it finally got through to her how stressful center-of-attention events are for me.  I *think* it worked.  I guess we'll see. 

I will say that when my bridal shower was over it was a huge relief.  It turned out to be very nice and relaxed shower, and I really regretted all of the anxiety I had in the months leading up to it.  Try not to get yourself too worked up about it.  I would be annoyed too, but what's done is done. 

I heart you tinyhumantoe!!!!!  Thank you for saying that.  It was just a vent and I am sure it will be fine - but I'm allowed to vent.  Thank you for this response and understanding and agreeing. 

DelaBella

KellersPrag:

DelaBella:

It's nice of people to come and bring you gifts, but I agree that it's tacky when your son is still so young and you didn't know the sex of either baby beforehand. Sounds like you made your desires known to your mother already, so if you say this more about your mother than you, I have no reason to disagree with that. I totally understand you being annoyed. I was really happy to have had my last shower -- I hate being the center of attention, too!

Not really when she didn't ASK for the shower or gifts.

OP, just say thank you and accept what you get. It might not be so bad for you.

 It's still tacky. Tacky on her mother's part, not OP's.

HRP22

tinyhumantoe:

Um.......... aren't 99.999999999999% of the vents on here first world problems?  I hate when posters try to belittle other posters with this line.  We talk about cake, mucus plugs, meanies at work, farts, etc., but TB isn't an appropriate place for a vent about a pushy mother post??  Puhlease   I'd also like to point out the OP said she is annoyed when she knows she should be grateful.  It's just a vent.  I feel awful at 32 weeks... I can't even imagine how I will feel at 38 weeks.

OP:  My mom does stuff like this.  Weddings and babies really bring it out in her.  Sometimes I wonder when it will finally snowball into a confrontation with her.  I just let her get by with it for now....

I think the biggest issue here is your mom's blatant disregard for your wishes.  At this point, I don't think there is much you can do (did she already send out invites?).  I begged my mom not to have a shower for me, and she flat out told me she didn't care how I felt.  I finally broke down crying and it finally got through to her how stressful center-of-attention events are for me.  I *think* it worked.  I guess we'll see. 

I will say that when my bridal shower was over it was a huge relief.  It turned out to be very nice and relaxed shower, and I really regretted all of the anxiety I had in the months leading up to it.  Try not to get yourself too worked up about it.  I would be annoyed too, but what's done is done. 

 I agree with the PP.  Also I totally get you.  Sometimes it's easier to just buy exactly what you want, not write any more thank you's, and not attend any more parties, especially when you are tired and just want to sleep.  I'm totally greatful for everything that people have done for us, but it's a lot of work too.  I was just thinking the other night how I'm glad that since we're married, and got the first kid under our belt, that I won't have any more showers!