6 years?!

christineandaaron

Today I introduced myself to an adoptive mother at work. We don't typically cross paths but another coworker mentioned she had adopted a baby this past December. I thought it might be nice to get to know each other a little so I approached her. She was very welcoming and open in sharing her story. However I was completely shocked when she said they waited for 6 years! I have never heard of someone waiting this long to adopt. My heart sunk when I heard this. Does anyone know if this is just a rare situation or should I really be preparing myself to potentially wait this long?

IRR

WOW, that is a LOOONG Time.  Most people on this board have not waited that long.  Did you ask her why it took so long?  Did they have a lot of requirements to be met?  Were they unwilling to accept any drug use, smoking etc.?  I think most people on this board have been under two years, but I could be wrong.  Don't let this discourage you.  It may be an outlier.

KdgTeacher

I think your wait time depends on a great deal of factors:

-what kind of adoption, DA v.s IA

-your specifications--age, drug expose, race/ethnicity, gender preference (if allowed)

-general red tape--visas, court hearings, travel if necessary, getting all your paperwork in, etc

-how many waiting families your agency has

-if you work with more than one agency

I'm sure there are a million other things.  My agency has had couples wait as short as 2 weeks and as long as 3 years. 

 

silliestbunny

Wow.... 
Was it an international adoption??
I've heard of families waiting 5-6 years for a healthy baby girl from China... but that's the only program I've ever know with such long waits.

christineandaaron

I think part of their wait was the number of families in their agency. They also started with one agency and then went with another but still...holy cow! I think my jaw dropped to the floor when she told me this. They were fairly open with their preferences as well! 

christineandaaron

silliestbunny:

Wow.... 
Was it an international adoption??
I've heard of families waiting 5-6 years for a healthy baby girl from China... but that's the only program I've ever know with such long waits.

 It was domestic infant adoption! 

mommytoconnor

I waited 4 years thru foster care system.  A little different story.  I am a single woman, but I was very open with preferences and age.  I was originally told that I wouldn't wait long as I was very open and the fact that I am a nurse and was willing to take a child who had medical issues.  Still I waited for 4 years, which is a long time, all because I wasn't married.  If it was a domestic infant adoption that seems like a long wait to me. 

mfb736

Wow..6 years! We have been waiting for 14 months and are thinking of calling it quits.

 

MayDayGirl

How many years ago? I know years ago that was a normal wait time , when 

Adoption wasn't as common. 

MayDayGirl

MayDayGirl:

How many years ago? I know years ago that was a normal wait time , when 

Adoption wasn't as common. 

Oops! Missed the part about December. Man that is nuts! I have never heard of that these days!

cogbot

This is terrifying to me

kristen64

We got on the adoption list here last summer and it is about a 7-8 year wait to adopt a child 2 years or under. It feels like I should have gotten on the adoption list the day I met my husband!

reenie83

kristen64:

We got on the adoption list here last summer and it is about a 7-8 year wait to adopt a child 2 years or under. It feels like I should have gotten on the adoption list the day I met my husband!

Wow! Is that for a domestic adoption? 

Dr.Loretta

That's pretty rare, but it will depend on the agency, the situation, and the "rules"

 We looked at a local adoption agency when we first started, and due to their rules they said the average wait was 3 years. If that was the average, I can imagine that there were longer waits. Due to that and other factors, we didn't use them as an agency.

I've also seen posts here where people are using agencies with wait lists just to apply, or start orientations, etc. And you mention they switched agencies. If they had to start all over, that can dramatically increase the wait time.

I don't think we would have still been waiting if our wait stretched out that long.

jerseygirl-37

Spooko:

That does sound like a long time.  I wouldn't worry about it too much, though, because each person's journey is so unique to their circumstances and preferences, etc.

this!

kristen64

reenie83:

Wow! Is that for a domestic adoption? 

Yeah, domestic adoption.