Please tell me I'm not the only one (NBR)

kmhb2010

I have no desire for sexy time with my husband. None, zip, zilch, nada. I hate it because I want to...I really do, but I just have no desire at all. I even asked my doctor at my yearly exam last week if something was wrong with me, but apparently it's normal. She says that since I'm breastfeeding it's my body's way of preventing it from getting pregnant again. It made me feel better knowing I'm normal, but try telling my husband that it's normal for me not to want him. 

I feel so bad, and even agreed to have sexy time 2x per week so he gets some, and I figured it would get him to stop pestering me every day. I thought this way of semi-planning it might give me an opportunity to work myself up?! My other problem is that on the rare opportunity that I have had the desire, he inevitably does something to annoy me and my desire goes away as quickly as it came.

Please tell me I'm not the only one!! 

Gem17

I'm right there with you. I hate that I have no desire. 

fredpuma

Gem17:

I'm right there with you. I hate that I have no desire. 

This.

AnessaDaneen

Feeling the same way . . .  Pretty irritated about it because I used to look forward and enjoy it so much. Hopefully once I am done BF I will feel my normal self again.

mkarns

Same on all accounts. I try...I really do. I'm also waiting for the day after I'm done BFing when I'm walking around the house and I go "I want to have sex". One day...

Oh, and the annoyance. Last week DH and I showered together and were planning to get naked after. Well, we got in a GMO debate in the shower. 30 minutes later he was Googling everything to try to prove all of my points wrong. Sexy time- Over.

DMR456

You are definately not the only one.  I've been feeling this way for months.

ferris0906

mkarns:

Same on all accounts. I try...I really do. I'm also waiting for the day after I'm done BFing when I'm walking around the house and I go "I want to have sex". One day...

Oh, and the annoyance. Last week DH and I showered together and were planning to get naked after. Well, we got in a GMO debate in the shower. 30 minutes later he was Googling everything to try to prove all of my points wrong. Sexy time- Over.

This is sadly funny and absolutely something I could see happening to my husband and I--we're both quite stubborn.

Other than that, I could not agree with you all more.  I have ZERO desire for anything. 

kmhb2010

Thank you ladies for making me feel better. It still sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone! And yes, I swear because of the lack of desire the littlest things annoy the crap out of me! There seems to be a lot of them lately! We were also taking a shower last week while DS was sleeping planning to have sexy time after and while we're in the shower he asked, "Isn't taking a shower together sexy?" Not when you say it, it's not! That completely negates the sexy! I love him and I know he's trying to hard because he wants it so bad, but it's having the opposite effect!!

anitavalkyrie

I think I'm the minority unfortunately. I EBF and I still want to have sex but DH feels the way you do. And it's not as if I'm a big horn dog, it's more like I want to spend time with just him. I had a great recovery, and I've felt great since 2 months PP. But, in the past 4 months, we've done it a grand total of 3 times .

cmytutu

As of right now, if I never have sex again it would be fine with me.

laura.noel

cmytutu@aol.com:

As of right now, if I never have sex again it would be fine with me.

This. And I feel terrible about it. I assume (hope) when I'm done BFing it will go back to normal. 

jmccall79

Right there with ya! Before getting pregnant, and even while I was pregnant, my drive was pretty high! Now, I could really care less! And like you said, on the off moment I do get in the mood, SO acts like an idiot about something and I rather stab him than have sex with him! LOL!  Oh, and I'm not BF, so I don't know that that has anything to do with the lack of desire for you.

boilerup227

Nope.  None at all.  We DTD maybe once a month.  It's bad...

btartaroind

Well whats wrong with me then I don't BF at all I did on an off for a month, that is it, and pumped for 2 after. I wouldn't say I have NO drive, but it is substantially less. It is always good during, I just never have the urge in the beginning.

n8swife

It's not just you. I have no desire at all. I'm hoping it comes back after I'm done EBF.

Gem17

Not to rain on your parade, but it didn't come back for me after I BF DD (my first). For me I think it has to do with body image. Like if I felt sexier I would want it more. 

aglenn

cmytutu@aol.com:

As of right now, if I never have sex again it would be fine with me.

Ha!  This, totally.  No interest at all. 

MollySm

btartaroind:

Well whats wrong with me then I don't BF at all I did on an off for a month, that is it, and pumped for 2 after. I wouldn't say I have NO drive, but it is substantially less. It is always good during, I just never have the urge in the beginning.

This is me. No BFing, so thats not it. I think I am just tired all the time. My drive is way less, but I do enjoy it once we start. I make myself do it if he initiates, which is about 1 or 2 times a week. I wish I wanted to initiate!

joie12

jesse1117:

Same here. I can't remember who it was, but someone said something about about their H being bent out of shape because she wanted to plan it out... and we do that. I actually have an alarm in my phone. Wednesday (cuz it's hump day) and Saturday we go for it. It helps because I forget to make time for it otherwise, because I'm not even slightly interested... but instead of getting worked up for it, I'm just like, ugh, I have to shave my legs today.

It was my H who was bent out of shape over me suggesting we shoot for 2-3x a week because it was "scheduling and that takes the fun out of it." So instead, I've just internalized my schedule. Mostly, though, it results in me being bent out of shape all day long b/c I have to take time out of my sleeping to DTD.

So, as you can tell, you are in good company!