when should i talk to agencies/potential parents?

greenteabee

I'm only 9 weeks right now, and my mom told me she thinks I'm rushing into thinking about adoption and I should wait until I'm farther along. do you think she's right?

LaVitaBella

I don't think it hurts to explore your options.  A quality agency will help you do this.  A good agency will give you a worksheet or other tools to help you decide what to do.  You are in control no matter how early you start to explore adoption.  

 

From an adoptive parent's perspective I would feel more comfortable being chosen after the birth family has had time to think of their decision and preferably farther along, but that's just me.  I'd be nervous for all those months. 

donmitch79

I don't think there is right or wrong answer to your question.  You have to do what is best for you as you face this huge decision. If contacting a reparable agency in your area will best support you in this process, then maybe it is worth looking into. From my experience as a future adoptive parent, agencies offer counseling, support, and guidance as you make your decision through this journey.

 If you decide on adoption, then meeting with the potential adoptive parents does not usually happen until you are further along in the pregnancy.  

Good luck with whichever path you choose. There are birthmothers who post on this page, so their experiences and perspectives are probably more insightful and connected then mine.

amm78

Some agencies prefer for expectant moms to be further along before matching with an adoptive couple.  But, it's definitely not too early to gather information and start learning about the adoptive process.  It's also definitely not too early to talk to an unbiased counselor who can educate you on your options.

The agency we're working with has profiles of hopeful adoptive parents online that expectant moms can look at anytime.   

 Good luck to you! 

Dr.Loretta

Ditto the pps. Now is a good time to at least explore your options and talk to some agencies, or whatever route you're interested in. They can provide you some counseling and help you decide if this is what you want to do and when would be a good time to do each step.

srmmm09

Howdy!

I'm a birthmom; I placed DS in 2006. I thought about adoption as soon as I found out I was pg, but I didn't decide that for sure until 20-25 weeks (I can't remember now!). I think it's good to think about now and really work out in your head (as in, am I ready to care for this person? Are there enough financial options available to me to feel comfortable being a parent? But also work it out in your heart. It's amazing the bond you can develop with a person you've never met! It takes time to figure out in your heart what you should do. A great decision will be one you can make logically and that your heart can accept as well. I think one of the best things I did was to think about how I would counsel a friend in my shoes.

Anyway, a good agency will help you do those things; good agencies want to see healthy parents raising healthy kids. A good agency will help you with resources and costs of care and those sorts of things.

A "crisis" pregnancy is never an ideal situation, whether you parent or place. No solution is perfect, you know? But it is possible to look back without any regrets. PM me if you need anything! 

IRR

As a BM you can always change your mind.  There are other options besides using an agency as well.  You could do a private adoption and depending on the state you live in, you wouldn't need an agency, but as PP stated, having some counseling either way is important.  There are plenty of AP that advertise on their own or with a lawyer so definitely start exploring your options now and you can always change your mind as time goes on.  We hooked up with our BM when she was 13 weeks pregnant and she is not due until December so we have had the time to speak with her regularly on her progress.  The decision is certainly yours and yours alone. GL.