Infertility Veterans

If they won't even let me adopt a dog...

...then how will they let me adopt a baby? 

There is no baby in our near future, as I've already shared.  Adoption is NOT on the table at this time because we are broke from treatments that have failed us miserably.  So what does one do in my situation?  Well, we decided it was finally time to get a 2nd dog again.

I protested for a really long time because I wanted it to be something my child experienced, but there's no reason for us to hold off now that we are childless possibly permanently.  I found one I fell in love with online, and I sent in the application.  I just found out on Thursday they have denied us because we previously re-homed a dog.

I'll admit we made a lot of mistakes, but we did it with the best intentions.  We adopted a dog from a rescue that was about a year old, knowing he was going to be a challenge.  We had no idea what his past looked like.  He was dropped off overnight, and we knew nothing about his previous owners.  Things were actually going pretty well until we decided to move in with my parents so we could transition into a new life cross country.

Our dogs went from having full run of our house and yard, to my husband, them, and I crammed into my childhood bedroom.  In addition, my brother's beagle was living at the house, and she was extremely territorial.  The living situation provoked some bad aggression issues in the rescue dog, and DH's stepdad offered to come to our rescue and take him in until we moved so the fighting would stop.

What we didn't expect was for him to fall in love with our dog.  And due to our dog's unknown past, it really started to appear he thrived a lot better as the only dog.  Those 2 went everywhere together, and when it came time to move...we thought it was kinder to leave the dog with the stepdad in the new life they had created with each other.

So yes, we re-homed a dog.  I guess that makes us horrible people who are unworthy and incapable of ever showing love to another animal on a permanent basis.  I guess the fact that we have a permanent new home and yard and take our dog everywhere with us makes us a horrible candidate.  I can't even tell you how much this rejection hurts.

I begged the rescue to give us a 2nd chance.  I'm pretty sure she's just deleting my emails at this point.  I sent a message to the woman that is fostering the mother dog and the puppies.  She has not responded back.  We are not repeat dog re-homers.  It happened once because we took on a dog with a past.  And even then, we only permanently re-homed him because it seemed more fair than uprooting him again.  The whole reason we are looking to adopt a puppy is because it won't have a past.  We can start fresh and train it to be loving and obedient the way our first dog is.

So if it is THIS DANG HARD to adopt a puppy...I don't think I should ever consider adopting a baby.  

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Re: If they won't even let me adopt a dog...

  • I find myself often muttering after seeing heartbreaking scenarios of innocent children in the care of irresponsible parents: "damn the system...there should be more rules and regulation for having children verses adopting pets."  It is ass backwards.  I am sorry pretty lady.  You are trying to do something to lift your spirits and this is a kick in the butt.  Hugs and positive puppy adopting vibes.

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • imagerockpaperlove:
    "damn the system...there should be more rules and regulation for having children verses adopting pets."

    I know, it's crazy.  I will say that I understand the rescues wanting to protect the interest of the animals.  I don't want them to bounce from one home to another feeling confused and unloved either.  But I also think it's unfair to close the door on us because we made a one-time choice to re-home our dog, especially when we did it in a way that worked out way better for him in the long run.  It felt like a foster situation to me in a lot of ways.  We removed him from a life in a cage, and we trained him to be way more obedient than his previous owners did.  We loved him and took care of him, and then we gave him to a family member he knew who continued to love him and take care of him and make him their everything.  We didn't make him go back to life in a cage.  We didn't give him to some scary stranger.  We didn't boot him out on the street to fend for himself.  Yet...we suck according to this shelter. 

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  • Hugs.  That is crazy.  I hope you get a puppy soon.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • That sucks!  Sounds to me like you a BETTER candidate for adopting a dog because of the scenario that you went through.  I'm so sorry, but maybe try another rescue agency.  We had a REALLY bad experience when we adopted our cat (long story, but the lady threatened to ruin our careers because we refused to lie ... the lady that adopted the cat to us messed up).  We wont' adopt from them again, but we will adopt another kitty eventually. 

    And remember, dogs are different than children.  Try not to let this discourage you while you rebuild your financial situation ((((hugs))))
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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