- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Preemies
prayers needed
for me and my D H. we fight qll the time. i cant do anything right. we havent been able to have sex since november last year. we have tried twoce but i hurt bad down there both times. then i got my period and am still bleeeding some bc of that and the IUD. he doesnt help me much with dd but is slowly getting better. thank you ladies your prayers and advice ven are greatly appreciated. you ladies rock
This discussion has been closed.
Re: prayers needed
I'm so sorry you're going through this - hang in there. NICU and the preemie experience generally put a lot of strain on a marriage that doesn't really go away when baby comes home (just like everything else, right?).
I don't think you ever e-mailed me - if you did, I didn't get it - but if you need to talk, you know where to find me.
I don't have a ton of advice, but have been in a little bit similar situation at least when it comes to intimacy. For us it was related to years of unsuccessful fertility treatments though.
Two things have really helped us in our marriage. One was the book "The 5 love languages". I like to read and it's my approach to solve many problems, so it helped me. After I read it not only my marriage but many other relationships became more clear to me. It helped me to understand my husband better. Another book I love is "Power of a praying wife". Of course I don't know if you are a believer, but this book really opened my eyes to a new approach. It actually along with "The power of prayer for our marriage" helped safe the marriage of one of my friends.
I agree with strudel that marriage is WORK. Some days are better than others! Hang in there!
I don't want to start a fight here and in no way am I being snarky but I don't think this will help OP. Knowing that your marriage is "so great" and DH is "your bestest friend and rock" well, that's great for you but obviously OP isn't getting that from her DH. I know it had to sting a little for her (as it did me because DH and I have had our issues since DD's birth.) Like I said, in NO way am I being snarky or trying to pick a fight, I was just voicing my opinion.
OP, I know what you're going through. DH and I have had a REALLY rough 2 years. I had a miscarriage 3 months prior to getting pregnant with DD and that really took a toll on me emotionally. Trying to get pregnant again became an obsession for me and I think DH felt like a sperm donor at times. After I got pregnant, I was so scared of losing the pregnancy, I didn't even want him to touch me. Not to mention, I was SO overwelmingly tired in the first trimester, I barely spent any time with DH. Then I got sick and had to be hospitalized, I felt like DH wasn't there for me enough. He always had an excuse for why he couldn't come to the hospital for more than an hour or so at a time to be with me. (I know he just doesn't like hospitals but who does?) Anyway, after that, with visiting DD and pumping all the time, I was so tired. In a nutshell, it took a while for us to be intimate. It still isn't the same. We are slowly getting back to where we were but it is taking time. I truly think we would have benefited from counseling but DH would never agree to it. He wasn't helpful at all in the beginning with DD ( I think he was scared) but he's also lazy. That's a known fact about him, unfortunately. He works hard for our family but when he's home, he's pretty worthless at times. I just tell him "Go change R's diaper and clothes" or "Go heat her bottle", etc. You just have to tell them what to do sometimes...or they either don't know what to do or just aren't going to take the effort to do it.
Anyway, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be so long. I just want you to know that I know where you're coming from and how you feel. My DD is 15 months and DH and I still aren't completely back to normal but just know that if you work on it and both of you are willing to make it work, then it will. It just takes time and patience.