just wondering - IVF'rs

2moms2twins

any of you do gender selection where you can choose to implant only a specific gender?

would like more info on this process?  and not sure where to post this ?

Also if you have multiples already and then has another child  what did you feel was the right gap or age difference

Twins girls ( just turned 1) and thinking bout #3 are we nuts ?

jessican08

Most women who do IVF do it because they have to, in the hopes of being able to have a healthy baby, regardless of the sex. Embryologists select the best embryo(s) and transfer (not implant) it back into the uterus.

The only way to determine the sex of an embryo is to do genetic testing on it before hand and that is usually only done to determine if there are any quality issues with the embryos, not to pick and choose the sex. The genetic testing process alone costs thousands of extra dollars for each IVF cycle. Sex selection was never presented as an option to us at any point during our treatment.

If you want more information on this you should contact a Reproductive Endocrinologist. IVF, however, is not without risks and is extremely expensive...I can't imagine wanting to subject yourself to that whole process (financially, physically and emotionally) just to get PG with a baby of a particular sex. Especially since there is no guarantee IVF will get you PG, fertility issues or not (there are no refunds if it doesn't work!).

A less invasive, more affordable option would be to do an IUI where the sperm are "sorted" by sex. They do have ways of washing the sperm to separate male from female sperm but it's not 100% - you could very well wind up getting PG with the a baby of the "wrong" sex, then what would you do? 

P.S. Whatever you do, please don't post this question on any of the IF boards.

 

chickaboo1974

This was NOT an option at my RE.  They specfically said that if we did genetic screening ($5000 extra) they would not tell us the genders of the healthy embryos- until after transfer if we asked. 

Kelli&Jed

I had no idea there was such a thing as gender selection.  As for #3, I got baby fever bad when my boys were about the same age as your girls but now I'm happy we didn't do anything about it.  The boys are such a handful right now I can't imagine being pregnant or caring for a newborn anytime soon.  We used to think our kids needed to be close in age but now we're thinking 3yrs apart will be better for us to be able to handle them.  Plus in our case we would be facing the possibilty of multiples again, yikes!

Ruthie04

MrsLee04:

No we didn't sex select. That's unethical IMO. That should only be reserved for cases where there is a genetic issue with a certain sex.

This exactly. IVF is hell on your body and an insane expense. I can't imagine doing it for gender selection purposes. My clinic never would have taken a case for gender selection, but there are clinics that do it. 

Jeep Doll

Our IVF was completely out of pocket.  We were going to do the genetic testing because of my age (didn't end up doing it because we only retrieved two eggs and the risks of them surviving the biopsy were too high for that kind of money).  When they told us they would know the sexes after the genetic testing, I just said "put back in the best looking ones, no matter what the sexes".  But we would have had a choice.

Here are some things I learned from my RE and some research online.  The genetic testing process after IVF involved taking one cell biopsies of the fertilized eggs and sending them off to have genetic testing done.  The testing takes about two weeks and the doctors want your body to rest for about six weeks before transfer, so the fertilized eggs are frozen during that time.  Some of the risks; IVF typically has 20-40% success rate on a fresh cycle and I'm not sure how it is for a frozen cycle, but I think less.  The fertilized eggs; some might not grow enough, some might not survive the biopsy, some might not survive the freeze/thaw.  You could spend all of this money and still end up with nothing in the end. 

As for cost... $15,000 for IVF.  $2500 for meds to do IVF.  $7000 for genetic testing = $24,000.  If you have that kind of money to spend just to get a specific sex, then all the power to you.  IVF is hell on your body and it is not guaranteed to get you pregnant.  Adoption costs about the same and you can choose the sex of the baby there, too.

And the sperm "spinning" where they do an IUI and try and separate the sperm is about 80% effective in getting the correct sex.  How will you feel if you are in the 20% and end up with the "wrong" sex?

groovygrl

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine has a formal statement regarding the use of gender selection that you can read here
https://www.asrm.org/search/detail.aspx?id=2356&q=gender selection

The only ppl that generally do gender selection are those who have a heritable disease carried on a sex gene, such as hemophilia, etc.  I personally would be suspicious of REs willing to do this very readily. 

MelleTX

OP, Google "Shettles Method" if you would like to "try" for one sex over the other but will be ok with either. 

I would never put myself through IVF again just to get one particular sex. IVF is brutal.

There was a special on TV about couples doing IVF just to get a girl. They paid the $5k for the PGD and ended up with 7 male embryos and 1 female. They transferred the female and destroyed the male embryos. It made me sick to my stomach to watch. They did't even get pregnant.  

Temp123197812503460

im assuming you may be doing IVF for fertility reasons and not just sex selection.

 

just one point, its really sex selection, no way to find out the gender until after they are born (and grown-ish)

pooman

No judgement on sex selection...to each their own.  I think it would cost a few thousand dollars more (assuming you're already doing IVF to get pregnant) and it can damage the embryos so you'll have less to work with.  (They take a single cell from a 2 or 3 day embryo to test if I'm not mistaken)

To your other question... we got pregnant with the twins when my daughter was 14 months old.   Fast forward 27 weeks and my little (almost) 21 month old is SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than that adorable 14 month old was.

 I had no idea what they turn into at 2.   

Don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED to be pregnant.   After dealing with IF I am still going to have the family of my dreams.  It's a true blessing.   But if I didn't have IF breathing down my neck I think I might have waited longer.  

Nita2603

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

Jeep Doll

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

She could have done IUI instead of IVF, too... both work for lesbian couples  

 

Mrs. Alice

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

Yes I agree.  I remember the OP because our babies were born around the same time and I pretty sure she did IVF before.

To respond to the question OP, my sister did IVF due to secondary IF.  They chose to do genetic testing and found out the sexes prior to transfer.  Turns out one of the good embryos had Turner's Syndrome, so it was actually a good thing they tested.  While it does seem different to me that one can select the sex of their babies I am not going to judge them for purposely putting in two female embryos.  She's pregnant with twin girls now.  Their insurance covered the IVF and I believe they had to pay about $5,000 OOP for the embryo testing.

Nita2603

Jeep Doll:

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

She could have done IUI instead of IVF, too... both work for lesbian couples  

 

Hmmm...I guess I didn't think of that! Sorry. 

2moms2twins

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

 Thank you - you are correct. I was just wondering if anyone was out there who did and will willingly talk about  PGD ( sex selection) I am also AMA so likely candidate for IVF if I put it off any more - I was not asking about Money - I am aware of the costs  as it has take us a year to conceive our twins who are now a year old... but thanks everyone for letting me know what it ran for yourselves not to mention we have to pay for our sperm so its a wee bit more. 

 Anyhow, just hoping someone would be willing to share.   

2moms2twins

Jeep Doll:

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

She could have done IUI instead of IVF, too... both work for lesbian couples  

 True IUI could be a possibility if I plan to carry at this time I would prefer not to carry but it is the cheaper route providing that my AMA does not have a huge affect on my egg quality or reserve.

2moms2twins

you are correct and OH MY those little guys are adorable ...

2moms2twins

Mrs. Alice:

Nita2603:

Lurker butting in.....I think the OP had to go through IVF in order to have her twins. 2momys2twins = lesbian couple. So the question is not so much about having IVF done in order to select gender, but more a 'since we have to go that route anyways, is there the possibility and does anyone know about it'?

Anyways, butting out again.... 

Yes I agree.  I remember the OP because our babies were born around the same time and I pretty sure she did IVF before.

To respond to the question OP, my sister did IVF due to secondary IF.  They chose to do genetic testing and found out the sexes prior to transfer.  Turns out one of the good embryos had Turner's Syndrome, so it was actually a good thing they tested.  While it does seem different to me that one can select the sex of their babies I am not going to judge them for purposely putting in two female embryos.  She's pregnant with twin girls now.  Their insurance covered the IVF and I believe they had to pay about $5,000 OOP for the embryo testing.

I remember you too! Your guys are super cute!!! We waited to find out what we were having  till they were born and it was 2 girls ... Best surprise ever! 

Yes, it is different to me in determining the sex as well... I am not 100% sure how i feel about it - so i was wondering what others thought and clearly, I see that many disapprove.  I am still trying to gather more information on it and people are very shy about coming forward if they have done it- just as many feel fertility is TABOO - I'm all for sharing my story especially if it can help someone.

 I am glad it worked out for you sister though- science and medicine we are so fortunate to have this available to us.  

 

Jeep Doll

IMO, if you are already doing IVF, then doing the testing (which it sounds like you want to do b/c of AMA anyway) and finding out the sexes all comes with the package   I don't understand people that spend all of the money of IVF and genetic testing for the only reason of achieving a specific sex coz that is a lot of money to me if you don't have a reason to do IVF.  I support choosing a sex if you happen to know because of testing for other reasons... make sense?  Just my opinion, though. 

You may want to contact your RE to help answer some questions about the genetic testing risks and their opinion about it, plus ask the RE if they allow you to know the sexes before transfer (since someone above mentioned their RE did not).  Mine wanted us to do the testing, but did talk with us about the possible risks to the frozen and biopsied embies and it was good to hear it from a doctor that has been there through the procedure many times.  From the source might be the best opinion you can get

 

MelleTX

Ok, reading comprehension fail on my part, OP. Sorry. 

ddub09

We didn't do IVF we had IUIs to conceive, but I will give you my thoughts on the age gap even though our third baby isn't here yet. We had a few failed IUIs from 12 - 17 months and conceived at 18 months. Looking back I'm kind of happy it took a while so the boys will be over 2. I feel like things have just been more difficult after 18 months. Just my two cents though!

ColleenS629

We took part in a PGD study when we did our IVF (the PGD was the only free part because of the study- the study was for rapid 24 chromosome testing so it didn't delay transfer). We were in the control group so our fresh embryos didn't get tested but the ones they froze did. The test group could find out the sex but couldn't chose which to transfer based on the sex- the two best were transferred regardless. We know that we have 2 boys and 1 girl frozen. Both of my sons have an X-linked inherited disease so if and when we TTC again, we will transfer the girl. If our FET doesn't work, I will do IVF again with PGD and only transfer a female embryo (the disease is not chromosomal so we don't know if the two frozen male embryos have it). I do not want to put another baby through this. 

MelleTX

ColleenS629:

We took part in a PGD study when we did our IVF (the PGD was the only free part because of the study- the study was for rapid 24 chromosome testing so it didn't delay transfer). We were in the control group so our fresh embryos didn't get tested but the ones they froze did. The test group could find out the sex but couldn't chose which to transfer based on the sex- the two best were transferred regardless. We know that we have 2 boys and 1 girl frozen. Both of my sons have an X-linked inherited disease so if and when we TTC again, we will transfer the girl. If our FET doesn't work, I will do IVF again with PGD and only transfer a female embryo (the disease is not chromosomal so we don't know if the two frozen male embryos have it). I do not want to put another baby through this. 

I think these are the true types of situations where PGD is the right answer. I would do the same in your shoes, but I could never  do it just for sex selection.