How do you date your miscarriage?

TKtravels

I've noticed that many people have something like "m/c 6.11.2012" in their signatures, and I was wondering how that date is chosen.  

Is it the date you found out that the baby stopped growing? The date you actively passed the tissue/had a D&C?

I ask because I like using dates for things, but my situation isn't very cut and dry, and I'm still not done physically with miscarrying, so right now, it seems more like I'll have a 5+ week window rather than one specific day in time.

Thanks for your thoughts on this!

NechamaChayim

I've been undecided on putting mine up but if I do I will just put the month and year. I honestly do not remember all those exact dates anyway.

behapy2day

Mine are the day we found out.

katharine25

it is whatever you want. For some situations it is very clear, for others it's really complicated. There's no "rule" about how to write out your loss stats, or that you even need to write them.

SwittyMcGee

We were in limbo for a while--we were fairly sure (but not certain) that the pregnancy wasn't viable (due to light spotting and slow-rising betas) for about a week before I actually physically miscarried. I am using the date I started bleeding and passing tissue because that is when I knew for sure that the pregnancy was over. 

Beyond the certainty aspect, there was the charting aspect which for me was totally superficial. FF rolled my chart over to a new day when I started full-force bleeding, and that gave me some sense of closure. Stupid, I know, but whatever.

ellajune2012

For me, a full month passed between the date I was told I had a missed miscarriage, and when I finally ended up having a full D&C because it never fully happened on its own after that.

For the sake of simplicity, I count the date I was bleeding as the day it happened because there was no heartbeat at that point anymore, so for me, that means the baby died and everything after, as miserable as it was for me to go through, is just that, after. I don't think there's any rule about this, do what feels right to you.

MauLoaM0M

I used the date my m/c was diagnosed even through my m/c really began 2 days prior. ((Hugs)) to you on your recent loss!!

jasherlove

MH says the day we found out the baby wasn't growing but I use the day I miscarried.  But I have a definite day that it happened.  I'm sorry for your loss.

kaleyandjason

I am using the date I found out at the doctor's office, although the baby stopped growing days before. It just seemed easier than guessing about when the baby stopped growing for sure.

kacelle

I consider it the day I passed the gestational sac.  I'd been bleeding for a week, but I didn't go to the doctor to confirm m/c until the day after I passed all the tissue.  That's when I really knew for sure that it was over though.

SunshinyLees

Mine is the day of my d&c, also the day we discoverd our baby's heart had stopped beating.

I'm sorry for your loss, *hugs*

Que*Syrah

My first was a natural miscarriage so I use the date that I started bleeding/passing tissue. My second resulted in a D&C so I use the date of the D&C. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with.

yeliza h

My most recent loss I put the when it was confirmed. My last loss I did the date that I delivered her. At the end of the day, it is whatever you want. ((HUGS))

amberdt03

I used the date my Dr. confirmed the m/c.

MWoodside

I use the day I found out. Mine was a silent/missed M/C so it is unclear when baby died bc i never cramped or spotted. my d&c wasnt until 5 days later so i wouldnt use that date in my case since baby was already passed away.

if i had a natural loss id probably use the first day i bled. 

KikiCohen

I used the day that I found out.  In my situation, LO stopped growing a few weeks before, but we had absolutely no indication that anything was wrong.  In fact, I was almost in the second tri when my bleeding started.  FWIW, I don't think there's a "right" way to date it.  Do whatever makes sense to you.

Fuzzy21

Mine is the day that I passed the sac, or the official "end" date.  I started m/c on a Wednesday, and found out that the baby died around 6w (I was in my 10w at the time). I passed tissue and blood for days and offically passed the sac on Sunday at 10w6d. This is the day I chose to list