Going to childbirth class alone?
So, I decided a while back not to take childbirth classes because my husband refused to go. But eventually he surprised me by telling me he would go, and then my doctor and my doula strongly recommended I take a childbirth prep class so I signed up for one. And it starts this weekend but now my husband doesn't want to go because it's on Saturday mornings. That was pretty much the only option at this point, since I'm due in less than 6 weeks now.
So I guess I have to go alone? Is that extremely weird for a mom to go by herself, and not have her husband or some friend or partner or other "support person" with her?
I could ask one of my friends, but the ones I'd rather go with are also pregnant themselves--would it be uncouth if two pregnant ladies show up for one?
Re: Going to childbirth class alone?
BFP#1 10 wk missed mc
BFP#2 DS born at 40+2 on 8/14/12 BFP#3 DD Born at 39+3 on 5/13/14
If this is your first, I would highly recommend that you try to get your DH to go with you. This will be a brand new experience for him as well and I imagine the class will give him a better sense of what to expect from labor and delivery. I think it will also teach him some good ways to support you both physically and emotionally when you are in labor. Frankly, I would be kind of PO'd if my DH wasn't willing to give up a few hours a week to prepare for the birth of our first child!
That being said... my DH is an Internal Medicine resident and because of his crazy schedule and hours, I know that he'll have to miss at least one of our Childbirth classes, so I'll either be going to that one alone or with a friend. I don't think it's the end of the world to go alone, but I would be pretty upset with my DH if he weren't at least willing to go.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Um, not sure if you are looking to bash your hubs, but that is pretty lame of him! Like, big-time. But sorry, i will address the question...
I think you could definitely do almost everyting in your class alone, but there will be a lot of times they will refer to your support person and I think you will feel pretty left out unless you are feeling really strong and independent about this. For example, when you do relaxation exercises, they might tell the support people to sit behind you and put their hands on your shoulders and count your breaths. So yeah, you could count your breaths on your own, but you might be seething so hard that you're not getting your little mini-backrub that you end up breathing twice as fast as you're supposed to! If my husband refused to go, I would ask my mom or a friend (and I did use my mom with my first daughter, which was awkward, but fine), but then let my husband know they were officially taking over his role as "coach," both in class and the delivery room. Good luck to you!
I don't think it would be too weird, but I loved having my DH there. He remembered different things than I did and when the time came to have my son he was great at implementing some of the suggestions from the class.
It's actually really interesting - he might learn something
This! I would totally understand if he had to work or something, but not going because it is to early is a lame cop out and would concern me big time about his commitment to having this baby. But to answer your original question, there was one girl there without her husband because he had to work. She left about half way through, not sure why buy I am guessing it was because either A) she realized it was something he should be at and decided to schedule it for a time he could be there, or
felt uncomfortable being there alone and left. There was also a woman with her friend, but she was a single mom and her friend was her actual support person. It would have been odd to have a random person there that was not the support person, the class is geared towards mom and support person.
This would be very concerning for me if DH refused to go. Does he not get the seriousness of labor? Does he not realize he will be an important part of your labor? Exactly why he needs to go and if he refuses, maybe he needs to be replaced by your mom or a friend.
We're not going this time because we're onto baby #2. But, for the birthing classes, breast feeding classes, infant care classes we took before DS was born there were both moms & dads attending. If a mom didn't have the dad with her there was some other support person. I would not go alone.
The infant care class I want to take, he will be able to make it to, which I am honestly more concerned about than the childbirth class, cause as I told him, during delivery there will be others to help, when we get home, we are on our own, and I need him as informed/confident as possible.
I went to the first 3 classes alone, and then skipped the last 2 because they weren't teaching me a damn thing I didn't already know. I went alone because DH had to work late nights and the Saturday classes were full, so I had to sign up for a 5 part class given every Tuesday evening for 5 weeks. I was the only mom there by herself, so it was kinda weird, and for the most part, it seemed like the assumption was that every women would bring some type of support partner there. If you're okay with most likely being the only chick alone there, then I'd still go.
My DH also wasn't super keen on going anyway, but he would've gone if I asked him and told him it was important to me. That being said, he was an absolute all star when I was in labor. Was there at my side every minute, did whatever he could to support me, helped me go to the bathroom, etc. My biggest concern for you is to what extent will your DH naturally do these things with or without the class. If you think your DH will pull through on labor day, then I guess just make sure to educate him before them with anything else he'd need to go. But it still seems pretty douchey of him to give such a lame excuse, like PPers said.