DE situation and such

kbrodie06

UGh I am so confused right now. So here is the situation. We found a donor. Looks similar to me as a child and ancestry is similar and all sorts of things. We have been waiting for the donor to get her period so she can start stims and then move forward. We have been waiting since July 4th. Yes it has been a huge gut feeling and yes, found out yesterday she is 5 weeks pregnant. I am beyond words fuming and f-ing floored pissed!!!! Freaking girl is 20 and in a nursing program. Hello?????? Do you not know this stuff?? Ok let me add in that this is not her first pregnancy. She is terminating apparently and so this is not her first termination either. So wait now the other stuff comes into play where I am confused. She listed ancestry as Irish/Swedish on maternal side and Irish on Paternal side. So this gets better. Apparently she is a twin, which is not on the genetic report. Wait, it gets better.... as of Tuesday night, the twin is now in the donor database and available. However the twin lists the ancestry as irish/cherokee indian and the other side as spanish. Hello that is a huge difference. SO I asked about this. Apparently she says there is a little irish, maybe less than 10%.

We are trying to figure out what to do. Go with another donor, go with twin (they are not identical but seem to be identically stupid). Looking at so many things.

so I dont know if I am overthinking things or not. I am wondering why the clinic does not drill it into a donors head that they are extremely fertile and can get pregnant easy. Oh I guess I should add in that the donor I was going to use has done 4 cycles, and retrieval rate is about 36-44 eggs a cycle so this would have been her first shared cycle.  Hello, donor chick you did a cycle in Sept, november, Feb and April, so not only are you 21 and fertile but you are super fertile due to the program you are in. You can get pregnant beyond easy. Oh wait, you are in a nursing program, you should know this. You should also know prior to 5 weeks of a pregnancy, that you are pregnant. Idiot. Its not your first pregnancy!!!!!

Back to everything. I am just floored with stupidity and the descrepencies and ugh. I think this is a vent!!! I am now at a loss of what else to add in.

Kristin

Aegis2005

Holy crap .... two abortions by the age of 20?

Honestly, she sounds like an irresponsible 20 year old.  Her irresponsiblity would be off putting to me, but in the end you're the one that needs to be comfortable with your donor.

Keeping my fingers crossed that the perfect donor is ready for you in the near future.

Bethany1026

wow...I can see why you are fuming.  termination?!? This girl obviously is lacking in the brains dept...and for her sister, I'd be skeptical if what they are reporting is in fact the truth.  I hope the perfect, responsible donor is out there and you find her fast!! GL!

NMscubagirl

I think I would run from those irresponsible twits. sorry, but no way I would want my children sharing genes with that. Grrrrr and ((hug))

Gregermis

Ugh!!!  I don't know... nice to know that she's super fetile and has soo many eggs, but geez.....

Trippleb

wow.  I'm sorry Kristin.  Hate to say but it almost seems like a blessing in disguse.  (not the termination; that she became unavailable). 

Hoping a perfect fit donor comes along shortly.

MBfromBMC

(((hugs))) I'm sorry you had so much invested in this chick. It really seems like there is something off about her...

AmCheri

Wow.  I'm horrified for so many different reasons.  Rather than get into that, I'd rather focus on getting you what you need.  

Having just started out with DE, I know that, for me at least, I needed to have a comfort level with the donor -- a pretty significant comfort level at that.  In reviewing various databases, the smallest thing about a donor could make me feel like she wasn't the right fit.  If you've lost that comfort, then I think it's time to look elsewhere.  That's not the easy answer and it may add time to the process that you'd rather avoid, but I believe peace of mind is vital with DE-IVF.  I'm so sorry you're having to deal with is.  Hate to say it, but it sounds like the clinic is not managing their donors well at all.