Infertility Veterans

DE situation and such

UGh I am so confused right now. So here is the situation. We found a donor. Looks similar to me as a child and ancestry is similar and all sorts of things. We have been waiting for the donor to get her period so she can start stims and then move forward. We have been waiting since July 4th. Yes it has been a huge gut feeling and yes, found out yesterday she is 5 weeks pregnant. I am beyond words fuming and f-ing floored pissed!!!! Freaking girl is 20 and in a nursing program. Hello?????? Do you not know this stuff?? Ok let me add in that this is not her first pregnancy. She is terminating apparently and so this is not her first termination either. So wait now the other stuff comes into play where I am confused. She listed ancestry as Irish/Swedish on maternal side and Irish on Paternal side. So this gets better. Apparently she is a twin, which is not on the genetic report. Wait, it gets better.... as of Tuesday night, the twin is now in the donor database and available. However the twin lists the ancestry as irish/cherokee indian and the other side as spanish. Hello that is a huge difference. SO I asked about this. Apparently she says there is a little irish, maybe less than 10%.

We are trying to figure out what to do. Go with another donor, go with twin (they are not identical but seem to be identically stupid). Looking at so many things.

so I dont know if I am overthinking things or not. I am wondering why the clinic does not drill it into a donors head that they are extremely fertile and can get pregnant easy. Oh I guess I should add in that the donor I was going to use has done 4 cycles, and retrieval rate is about 36-44 eggs a cycle so this would have been her first shared cycle.  Hello, donor chick you did a cycle in Sept, november, Feb and April, so not only are you 21 and fertile but you are super fertile due to the program you are in. You can get pregnant beyond easy. Oh wait, you are in a nursing program, you should know this. You should also know prior to 5 weeks of a pregnancy, that you are pregnant. Idiot. Its not your first pregnancy!!!!!

Back to everything. I am just floored with stupidity and the descrepencies and ugh. I think this is a vent!!! I am now at a loss of what else to add in.

Kristin

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Re: DE situation and such

  • I am on the outside of this and I am also completely floored. GOOD LORD!!! And the last thing that a DE recipient wants to hear is

    1. I'm pregnant. 5 WEEKS pregnant, when I knew I was supposed to donate to you (Logistics of the most important thing in your life)

    2. I'm f*cking up your life right now, but don't worry. I am aborting the pregnancy. (Emotional nightmare for recipient)

    3. I falsely advertised myself. (I wonder what ELSE in your profile is a lie)

     I AM SOOOOOO very sorry. I would be infuriated. What does your clinic have to say about it? 

    imageimage

    TTC#1 since October 2010

    "The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap." Mary Anne Radmacher

    Me:35, 5 major abdominal surgeries for Ulcerative colitis, failed j pouch, perm. Ileostomy DX-DOR & Tubal abnormalities/Extensive Adhesions from earlier surgeries.latest fsh -26 :(

    IVF 1- March 2012 Antagonist Protocol; BCP until March 3; AFC this cycle is 10 (Hooray); Start stims on March 9; ER on March 19- 2R; 2T (1 perfect 8 cell, 1 scrappy 3 cell); tubal infection from ER-hospitalized. Doomed! BFN

    Essure Procedure to treat bilateral hydrosalpinx; June 2012, wait 3 months for confirmation test.

    IVF2 (Egg Banking)-letrozole/antagonist cycle; June/July 2012 225iu merional + cetrotide; slow responder, Ovulated before ER. Unbelievable. Canceled remaining cycles with my eggs

    DE IVF in Brno, Czech. Approx. ET on Oct 6 CANCELLED-Essure didn't close both tubes-test again in 3 months

    IVF3-DE IVF ET on Dec 9, 2012 (decided to roll the dice no matter what!)

    2 perfect HB transferred; 8dp5dt beta:36; 10dp5dt beta 15; chemical pregnancy.

    Turning our hearts toward adoption

    DH:36, SA-perfect

    Married since July 11, 2009

    Fur baby Cairn Terrier

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome

  • What an incredibly selfish woman. I am so sorry you are suffering the brunt of that, but she may have just saved you some massive troubles even though it's guised as a big set back. 

    I sure hope you are raising all kinds of hell with those who screened her. I'm livid for you. You seriously couldn't make this garbage up. So sorry you're living it. I cannot imagine. 

    Also, not even mentioning Spanish heritage? It makes me wonder if the clinic was trying to tailor her towards you or how they want to explain the twin's different heritage. This process is difficult enough, but getting off to a turbulent start is clearly not the way to help the paying patient - YOU!  

    (Live in Europe) TTC since 1/2010
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  • imageMitzi Bishi:

    What an incredibly selfish woman. I am so sorry you are suffering the brunt of that, but she may have just saved you some massive troubles even though it's guised as a big set back. 

    I sure hope you are raising all kinds of hell with those who screened her. I'm livid for you. You seriously couldn't make this garbage up. So sorry you're living it. I cannot imagine. 

    Also, not even mentioning Spanish heritage? It makes me wonder if the clinic was trying to tailor her towards you or how they want to explain the twin's different heritage. This process is difficult enough, but getting off to a turbulent start is clearly not the way to help the paying patient - YOU!  

     

    All of this. I am so sorry to hear you are in this situation. Hopefully you are able to move forward with a different donor soon!

    2/11 Diagnosis: DOR-AMH .62, LPD and MFI-4% Morph
    IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
    7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
    8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
    Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
    11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
    <a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would be extraordinarily pissed at your clinic right now - they should be drilling into donors heads using contraceptives or abstaining. They also should be verifying self-reported family and genetic history as much as best they can through repeated interviews.

    If the twin has never cycled before, and one of the reasons you chose the original PG donor was her proven success, then I might think twice about using her. Good luck to you.

    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • I honestly think i'd go for a new donor. Too many red flags with the heritage issues and the moral issues. I want to "like" my donor and I am at pissed off at yours. Hugs.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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