slow learner?

aboynamedbarry

today I was texting with my bff who also has a baby approx the same age as mine and I told her we had a tooth this morning... she replied saying her DS is a slow learner... without a "lol" or anything so I took it to mean she was being more serious than making a joke. So i asked "why's that" and she responded saying because he doesn't roll much and doesn't have teeth. basically she thinks he is behind, and I responded telling her that neither does my DD roll much and babies get teeth at SUCH different ages, that is nothing to compare. My baby is younger than hers by 3.5 weeks and mine has done a lot of things different than hers and I feel like she is always comparing hers to mine. it is so freaking annoying and I hate it. I feel like the only time I can talk to her like we used to is when we DONT talk about the babies. when she tells me something that hers is doing new, I do not respond by saying oh well mine already did that or something along those lines, I say something like that's so awesome! or how exciting or whatever would be appropriate. and when I tell her something new mine is doing, she says something like the above. ARGHHHHHHH I want to tell her just STOP FREAKING COMPARING the two and don't call your child a slow learner. what a ridiculous thing to measure by anyways!!! there, rant over :P

Brit's Luna154

Word.

DD's cousin is two months yonger than her. SIL is awesome, she loves babies and it is her third one, we're cool with having similar-aged babies. MIL is another story. Sometimes it feels like she is like she is trying to stir up sh*t or something.

aboynamedbarry

Brit's Luna154:

Word.

DD's cousin is two months yonger than her. SIL is awesome, she loves babies and it is her third one, we're cool with having similar-aged babies. MIL is another story. Sometimes it feels like she is like she is trying to stir up sh*t or something.

 

so freaking annoying! let them just be!!!

wychets

Ughhh I hate that. I have a friend who had her DD at 27weeks. She is now 8 months old but because she was born 3mnths earlier she does things that a 5 month old would do. Which is expected. Everytime we talk she asks me what DD is doing and when I answer she rants on and on about how behind her DD is. Ughhh you have to love your child for who they are. Who cares if they are not crawling, rolling, etc like other babies!!!

bigbear

Oh goodness! That's the worst! first off, how does learning have anything to do with having teeth? LOL In a way, poor woman,she must be so stressed out constantly worrying if her baby is doing ok.... But yeah, I think I'd do what you did and just not even say what your baby has already done, just be excited when she shares things about her baby...

My MIL always compares DD to my nephew. When DD was a couple weeks old and she was changing her she said something like" oh wow well she has a really short torso. D had a much longer one and he's a smaller baby". WTF does that mean? She says a lot still to this day, but that one really stuck with me.

All so annoying!

aboynamedbarry

bigbear:

Oh goodness! That's the worst! first off, how does learning have anything to do with having teeth? LOL In a way, poor woman,she must be so stressed out constantly worrying if her baby is doing ok.... But yeah, I think I'd do what you did and just not even say what your baby has already done, just be excited when she shares things about her baby...

My MIL always compares DD to my nephew. When DD was a couple weeks old and she was changing her she said something like" oh wow well she has a really short torso. D had a much longer one and he's a smaller baby". WTF does that mean? She says a lot still to this day, but that one really stuck with me.

All so annoying!

 

I agree with what you said in a way it's too bad because honestly she is very insecure. and she micro analyzes the smallest and IMO sometimes the stupidest things. there are big issues and non-issues, and it seems to me like everything is an issue to her.

there should be no comparing!!! let's just enjoy these babies while they're still babies!

AlliMG

I don't post much here, (so hello!) but I can empathize with your friend, my husband's family had four babies born within four months among the cousins and our baby was the second.  Our little guy always seems to do things later than our cousin's son who is two months younger.  It's kind of frustrating and I think it's normal for us first time moms to worry.  I always just remind myself that I'm lucky that I get to enjoy his gummy bear smile/non-mobility/fill in the blank phase longer than his cousin did!

kmm2150

Just wanted to chime in and say I have a similar situation with a coworker - her grandbaby and DD are very close in age, and they've eached reached different milestones ahead of each other. We haven't had any issues but I am very concious of not saying things like "oh has grandbaby done xyz yet?". Some babies are going to crawl first, others will never crawl at all and then walk before the crawlers, some will talk sooner than others, etc. As long as they're making progress, you just can't worry about comparisons!

bigbear

kmm2150:

Just wanted to chime in and say I have a similar situation with a coworker - her grandbaby and DD are very close in age, and they've eached reached different milestones ahead of each other. We haven't had any issues but I am very concious of not saying things like "oh has grandbaby done xyz yet?". Some babies are going to crawl first, others will never crawl at all and then walk before the crawlers, some will talk sooner than others, etc. As long as they're making progress, you just can't worry about comparisons!

Exactly! Funny I was just talking to a coworker (she has a 1yo) and she asked if DD is crawling yet. Well she isn't and I"m not in the least bit worried. She still hasn't even figured out how to roll from tummy to back on a regular basis. She can do it but she still hates tummy time so she much rather screams to be rescued than to try it. But she rolls back to tummy like a champ and has been sitting all by herself for a month now. The important thing is to go to all the checkups, keep the doc informed of how your LO is doing and that they are making progress in general. She looked at me totally wide-eyed like "OMG she still isn't doing that". Whatev! lol