Intro (long)

Beachgrl0127

Hi,

I hope that I am posting in the right place, if not please let me know. Almost 3 weeks ago, on July 12, we lost our twin boys at 18.5 weeks because of incompetent cervix.  I have been trying to post here for the last two weeks but could not get the courage to explain why I was here, my therapist said that I need to tell me story to help grieve so I have decided to start here.

 

My pregnancy was complicated from the start, after finding out I was carrying twins at 6.5 weeks I was hospitalized at the end of the 1st trimester due to hyperemesis and just when that was easing up I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, although I never had any high numbers when taking my blood sugar.  

At 16.5 weeks we went to visit the MFM to check on the babies growth and found the my cervix was under 1 cm and funneled, I was immediately admitted to the hospital and had an emergency cerclage surgery which my doctor said went better than expected and I was sent home on bedrest.  Two weeks later everytime I would stand up my whole stomach would get hard and I started cramping when the doctor checked my cervix I was starting to dilate and Baby A's bag of water was bulging through.

I was sent over to the MFM, who preformed the surgery, for him to confirm and then given my options, none of which the doctors thought would get me to the "24 weeks viability" that would be the goal.  We decided that with the risk of infection and my cervix tearing it would be best to remove the cerclage.  At 4pm on July 11 the cerclage was removed and I went into full blown labor and after just over 8 hours of labor my twins were born sleeping just after midnight on July 12 within just a few minutes of each other.  This is when we found out we had two boys(we were team green) and that they were faternal, we got to spend about 2 hours holding them and taking pictures before we were too tired and wanted to go to sleep.

Sorry this has turned out so long I just feels good telling my story to others who have been through something similar and "get it".  It has been a rough 3 weeks since even with all the great support we are getting from our family and friends.

jbranden12

I am so sorry for the loss of your Cayden and Connor. You have obviously been on a rollercoaster of emotions for months now, and yet we know the hardest part of your journey is just beginning. I am so sorry that you've had to join our group, but I am glad that you have been helped by telling your story and hope that you can continue to get support here when needed. ((HUGS))

sebailey6

I am so so sorry for the loss of your Cayden and Connor. For me (although everyone may not agree), talking about our Kalani helps me so very much...we lost her 2 weeks ago tomorrow. I am also glad that it seemed to help you a little to tell your story. We are sad that you have to be here, but appreciate your story and will be here whenever you need us.  I come here everyday!

Heatherhah

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys Cayden and Connor. We are here for you as you need us. I hate to have to welcome any new mom here but we all know what you are going through. Please come here as often as you need. Hugs to you!! Thinking of you and your sweet boys!!!!!

Heather

karebear57

I am so sorry about your loss of your lil boys Cayden and Conner. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know how hard that can be. We are here whenever you need us anytime.

ehlersm

I am so sorry you had to join us. I lost my twin boys at 22 weeks from IC and understand your heartbreak. Please know that whatever you are feeling is normal and you now have all of us to lean on for support. You can tell or ask us anything because we've all been there.

Bayberry12

I am so sorry for loss of your twins, and for everything you have been through.  I know exactly what you mean about telling your story.  It helps so much to get it out, it's like our brain's way of processing everything.  But, I also remember how hard it was to type every word through tears.  It's good that your family and friends are there for you, let them know everything you need.

Please know that you have found a resource with the board, and we are all here to listen to anything you have to say. 

 

Lavender&Lillies

I am so sorry for the loss of your twins. I'm glad that it felt good to tell your story here. I think that talking about my loss has been very important in my own healing, even though it is hard to do without tears. I hope that you will find comfort and support on this board as you mourn the loss of your precious babies.

lmielocl1

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boys!  I am glad that telling your story has been helpful to you.  Thinking of you! 

- Leslie

~ Mommy to Aaron, 21 months and to our angel, Ethan, born sleeping at 18w on 6/15/12.   

HollyBee1022

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your little boys, Cayden and Conner.  You're in the right place, though I'm so sorry you have to be here.  It sounds like you had a very difficult pregnancy, and I wish things had turned out differently for you.  Feel free to share your feelings here any time; I'm glad it's helped you tell us your story.  For me, I didn't think it would help to talk about losing our girl, but it really does.  I'm so glad you're finding support from family and friends--we're here to help you for whatever else you need.  My thoughts are with you and your SO.  ((Hugs))