Adoption
heaven22tw
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What form of "advertising" helped you locate your BM or AP
heaven22tw
member
in Adoption
*POLL* Love to hear some stories from people who did private adoption as there are not many out there...its our first time adopting and its all so unknown...THANK YOU 
After three miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy we are currently pursuing adoption.
" Born not from our flesh, but born in our heart. You were longed for and wanted and loved from the start."
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Re: What form of "advertising" helped you locate your BM or AP
Our story is one worth repeating but I didn't do any of the work.
For DD1, we waited 22 months... with lots of heart ache along the way.
Our success came by way of an adoption buddy/friend that I'd met locally. My friend was pro-private adoption and "putting it out into the universe". She bought mailing lists to OB/GYNs, hospitals, SWers, and attorneys (probably could cull off the internet now) and mailed one sheet letters out to many sources stating that she and her husband were seeking a baby to adopt. A few lines about who they were w/pictures and a contact phone number.
Her letter connected her to her daughter's BM and then she did it again for her son's birth mom.
All along, when I was suffering through losses, she encouraged me to follow her path.
Ten months after her son was born, she received a call from the father of a young woman who was 9 months pregnant and going to be induced in five days. He called to see if she'd adopt the baby. She told him that her family was complete but she'd connect him to someone else who was waiting. That was ME!
Our match was so simple. DD1s birth family had planned a Safe Surrender at a hospital. When they told the OB that they were going to surrender the baby, she urged them to consider choosing a family rather than anonymously giving the baby to a safe surrender drop. The OB happened to have my friend's letter on file and handed it to birth grandfather. The birth family knew nothing about modern adoption "works". They were afraid they'd be out thousands of dollars for attorney fees. They just wanted the baby to go to a safe and loving family.
In retrospect, there are all sorts of coincidences that I believe are signs saying that this baby was meant for us... God sent her our way. But the practical sense is friend's letter was kept by a caring OB that was willing to pass it along. I can't tell you how odd and refreshing it was to have the birth grandfather relieved when we spoke.... he just wanted someone to help him and his daughter and know the baby would be safe and loved.
I share this because private adoption and self-promotion does work. It worked for my friend... for her two kids, for my daughter, and she received two other calls that she sent to other waiting friends.
You may want to check your state. Private advertising is illegal in mine