Im really bad at reprimanding.

MarSamWhitney

So basically, W will get in trouble for doing something like say climbing on the back of the couch and up on the ledge. When I make her get down, she will throw a tantrum and has the most adorable cry face. Often she will reach for me to hug her and I realize I do hug her a lot and rub her back.

I only notice this because BIL is famous for cuddling w/ nephew at 9 yrs old after he gets in trouble, and I think its redic.

When you discipline, do you keep a straight serious face and don't coddle them?

honkytonk_kid

There's nothing wrong with hugging her when she's upset, just don't let her adorable cry face make you be like "ohhh it's ok I guess you can climb it." Be consistent, get her down every.single.time she climbs it, but acknowledge that she's not happy about it.

eta: I think the idea is to teach them that following the rules is 1. normal (ie don't make it a huge deal) and 2. makes life better/easier/more fun. So we do minimal attention while correcting unwanted behaviors, and lots of praise for desired behaviors.

SweetHurricane

I'm no help. I do the same thing. Especially when DH is doing the repremanding and she comes running to me. I hate seeing her all worked up, even when it is her own fault.

MarSamWhitney

honkytonk_kid:

There's nothing wrong with hugging her when she's upset, just don't let her adorable cry face make you be like "ohhh it's ok I guess you can climb it." Be consistent, get her down every.single.time she climbs it, but acknowledge that she's not happy about it.

eta: I think the idea is to teach them that following the rules is 1. normal (ie don't make it a huge deal) and 2. makes life better/easier/more fun. So we do minimal attention while correcting unwanted behaviors, and lots of praise for desired behaviors.

To me, minimal attention for bad behavior shouldnt involve a hug and a back rub.  If she is upset about falling down or something, then I think thats one thing. 

I really wasn't questioning what if im doing this right, just more wondering if anyone else coddled their LO when it probably is not necessary and is sending the WRONG message.

MarSamWhitney

SweetHurricane:

I'm no help. I do the same thing. Especially when DH is doing the repremanding and she comes running to me. I hate seeing her all worked up, even when it is her own fault.

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

RouensDream

Guilty as charged.

RedZee

I often crack up when she overreacts to not being allowed to juggle knives or whatever crazy thing she is trying to do. And I just realized that I reassure her after DH disciplines her if I wasn't disciplining her for the same thing the minute before. I have to stop doing that.

freeatlast2014

I'm bad too but more of in an inconsistent way. Sometimes I redirect, sometimes I let him throw a fit, sometimes I snuggle him when he throws a fit. Poor kid is probably so confused! 

And the worst are when we are in public - then I really don't know how to handle things and end up just giving him food. He's going to be a terror and obese at this rate. 

pixieprincss

Are you familiar with positive discpline? It may be a more natural fit for you. Here is a great website to start with...

https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/use-positive-discipline

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MarSamWhitney

SMH. GBCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

freeatlast2014

MarSamWhitney:

SMH. GBCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does this mean?

RouensDream

MrsLynnyD:

MarSamWhitney:

SMH. GBCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does this mean?

Allow me to translate for you: Shaking my head, Good Bye Cruel Bump. 

RouensDream

RouensDream:

MrsLynnyD:

MarSamWhitney:

SMH. GBCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does this mean?

Allow me to translate for you: Shaking my head, Good Bye Cruel Bump. 

Pretty funny.  

freeatlast2014

RouensDream:

RouensDream:

MrsLynnyD:

MarSamWhitney:

SMH. GBCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does this mean?

Allow me to translate for you: Shaking my head, Good Bye Cruel Bump. 

Pretty funny.  

I knew GBCB (not SMH) buy why is MSW saying this? I'm clearly missing something here.

cking9365

we try our best to keep a straight face (omg impossible some times).  We usually don't hug her right away and give her a minute or two to calm down. Then hug. Or put in time out and hug her when she comes out.