VENT: Breastfeeding "support" forums & groups

velveena

Their judgmental nature towards FF moms is such a turn-off it makes me not want to be there!  If you really want to help moms EBF, just answer my freaking question without pushing your agenda.  It's not enough that I EBF for 6 months, god forbid I want to give my boobies a break and do 1 bottle a day, I am right to feel guilty about poisoning my child.

bigbear

LIke PP said, it doesn't matter what others say and it certainly won't ruin your or anybody else's day

BUT I also agree with you, that it gets a bit old when you just want to post a question/comment and then you are ripped apart. If you have a helpful comment please do share, they are grately appreciated. Different opinions are too! But there is a difference in voicing a different point of view and simply attacking/judging.

 

meg_2006

People like that are the reason I still feel guilty (7 months later) about not being able to breastfeed my child.  It's not like I even had a choice in my situation, yet I still feel judged by others.  I am embarrassed to by formula at the store because of the opinions of those standing in line behind me.  People can be ignorant.

bigbear

meg_2006:

People like that are the reason I still feel guilty (7 months later) about not being able to breastfeed my child.  It's not like I even had a choice in my situation, yet I still feel judged by others.  I am embarrassed to by formula at the store because of the opinions of those standing in line behind me.  People can be ignorant.

OH I'm so sorry you feel that way. But for what it's worth, I'll say it now. Please do not feel guilty or embarassed. You are no less of a mother nor is your baby deprived of anything! You are wonderful and are doing exactly what your baby needs. You are awesome!! HUGS!

namara5532

There's a word for people like that: Lactivists.  They're so obsessed with breastfeeding that they don't care who they offend, even if they think they're being helpful.  They only care about supporting breastfeeding and forget the end goal of a healthy baby.  They aren't worth your time.  You're doing the best for your baby and for your family.

bigbear

namara5532:

There's a word for people like that: Lactivists.  They're so obsessed with breastfeeding that they don't care who they offend, even if they think they're being helpful.  They only care about supporting breastfeeding and forget the end goal of a healthy baby.  They aren't worth your time.  You're doing the best for your baby and for your family.

velveena

bigbear:

namara5532:

There's a word for people like that: Lactivists.  They're so obsessed with breastfeeding that they don't care who they offend, even if they think they're being helpful.  They only care about supporting breastfeeding and forget the end goal of a healthy baby.  They aren't worth your time.  You're doing the best for your baby and for your family.

 

Thanks! I don't have issue with "lactivists", I have issue with them calling their groups support groups. I've been active on various forums (including NJ knotties) that picked on everyone so I have tough skin. I know I'm doing what is right.  It just irritates me that these people think they are helping the world but actually alienating moms that are 90% crunchy and not 100%.  I do exactly what they do for their kids.  So sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to have an attitude towards FF moms to be a member. Grrrr!

namara5532

I see what you mean.  I was about to put up a post on the BF board asking for advice about weaning to formula during the day (I'm job hunting), but I'm afraid of getting negative feedback or told I should pump (I don't have a letdown for the pump).  "Support" groups should really be called "Advocacy" groups.  They're there to help with BFing and nothing else.

velveena

namara5532:

I see what you mean.  I was about to put up a post on the BF board asking for advice about weaning to formula during the day (I'm job hunting), but I'm afraid of getting negative feedback or told I should pump (I don't have a letdown for the pump).  "Support" groups should really be called "Advocacy" groups.  They're there to help with BFing and nothing else.

 

I actually also posted a similar question in a BF forum (although surprisingly, that particular post's responses wasn't the one that got my blood boiling above)... Do you find that all the "weaning schedules" that come up when googling seem to be put out by formula companies and geared towards total conversion to FF?  Frankly, I didn't trust the source and wanted to hear what had worked best for real bf moms.  There isn't a whole lot of "support" for bf moms who plan to supplement or part-time bf, and need advice with that.  BF moms want you to stay bf and formula companies want you to switch all the way over.  I can take the criticism on the forums, but it's annoying that there isn't a friendly place to get real help with these types of questions.  I'm fine with the advocacy (and agree that social change needs to happen), it just shouldn't be disguised as support!