3rd Trimester
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If one more person says....
So I work in healthcare and am obligated to not say the
things I am actually thinking when people make rude comments to me. I
am not kidding when I say that every day since Thursday someone has made
a comment about how big I am. Let me clarify - I know that I am not
actually fat - but I am pretty big for my timeline because of a large
fibroid taking up a great deal of space in my belly. I don't feel the
need to tell everyone of my own health issues as it is none of their
business. I still have 3 mo to go so NO IT'S NOT GETTING PRETTY CLOSE,
NO I DO NOT HAVE THE DOC'S CELL ON SPEED DIAL, NO THEY DO NOT HAVE MY
DUE DATE WRONG, YES THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE IN THERE. Need I say more?
So the real problem now is that I can't hear these comments without
thinking that I am fat. I am at the point that pretty much each person
who says something - regardless of how rude it is - makes me cry. I
can't take it anymore. Does anyone have a suggestion of something I can
say that isn't F%&* YOU - like I want to say but can't? I don't
want to lose my job but I am also struggling to keep smiling and
"joking" with these people (who are all patients or strangers by the
way).
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If one more person says....
Dont worry about it. I have 3 months left and no fibroid and i get the same coment a ll thr time. It sucks but im not letting it ruin my mood or the enjoyment of my pregnancy.
*new phone still learning to type on it
Meseebee,
I am in the same position..I just started my third thimester and I work in a healthcare setting. People have been making rude comments to me since week 23! Its like talking to a pregnant lady is a free for all...you can say anything you want, even if you would never say it to someone who wasn't pregnant. I don't understand how they think some of the comments are okay. I was super nice at first and sputtered later on when they hurt my feelings, but now if someone mentions to me how big I am..or how they can't believe my due date is so far away...I just remind them of how big my baby is ( i refer to the foods from the emails I get from this website) Like...oh yea well my baby is the size of a melon right now so of course my belly is gonna "pooch right out" ( yea people say that all the time). Or yep...I am 30 weeks now so its pretty typical for me to look pregnant! If you get real fed up, I would suggest pointing out that at 6 months pregnant you are still wearing the same size scrubs they are wearing, and they are not pregnant. ( I havent had the guts to bring this up yet:)
Hang in there...you are normal and people are needlessly rude
My patients and some staff have been saying the same things at my hospital. People tell me all the time that I am waddling (hello, jerks, I am having some preterm labor contractions so just be happy I haven't dropped this kid on the floor yet!). Some people tell me I'm way too small to be 8 1/2 mos, some people tell me I am HUGE. My boss got upset that I took the elevator up 3 floors instead of stairs as I used to do, telling me "You'll never get your body back if you don't do everything you used to do!" One patient yesterday asked how far along I was and when I told her, she told me I should be on bed rest and why was I here? The worst was a secretary saw me at lunch and asked "Are you really eating a cheeseburger and fries?!?!?"
What I WANT to do is throatpunch these people. Instead, I just tell them that MY OB says all is well with me and baby, and then either walk away or stop talking to them.
I got a good one the other day. I'm a criminal defense attorney. At the courthouse, there's a little holding area for the in-custody defendants. I went in there and asked the guard if I could talk to my client. He said I needed to wait a few minutes and he would pat my belly when it was my turn because it's so big it'll still be in the holding area after the rest of me is back in the court room. True story.
Personally, I don't get offended by these comments. I guess I just have really thick skin. But I definitely see how it would be super offensive to most women and really hurtful. All I can say is, you're not alone. Hang in there.
I always have a one word answer for rude people. I've used it in the last couple of weeks and it's pretty awesome. I say "noted". That's it.
People instantly realize they are being an a$$hole and walk away, because what are you going to say when someone says "noted" to you? You've acknowledged them...hope it works for you.
I agree, though, OP. I'm a hospice RN and you really can't be snarky to people when they or their loved ones are dying...I just grin and bear it...and sometimes get out of the room more quickly than I ought to:/
Haha! This, definitely try this! It would shut me up too. I have learned that the only acceptable comment/compliment to make to an expectant mother is "you look wonderful!" no matter how big or small.
I like this one. It acknowledges the person's comment and then changes the subject.
Which if I recall correctly is the southern way of saying FU. Right?
This for sure.
Bingo
And the sweeter you say it, the more it gets the point across.