Sleep help desperately needed!
loneybaloney
member
I am exhausted. DS is not a consistent sleeper...at all. We have a very definate evening routine which starts at 5 when I get home from work - dinner, bath, quiet play or stoller walk if it's nice out, books, bottle and down in bed at 7:30. Most nights, he's up twice wanting to eat. Occasionally, he'll get up just once (usually after 6-7 hours). He's STTN a total of three times in his entire life.
The last two days he was up at 3:45 and 4:00 and would absolutely NOT go back to sleep. When this happened a while back, I would go feed him and put him back down, he'd fuss for a bit (maybe 20-30 mins) and then go back to sleep for about 2 more hours. Yesterday and today, he screamed and screamed. We layed on the couch and dozed for 2 hours, but he was by no means "asleep".
I don't know what to do. I need this kid to start STTN. I can't see any new teeth (he has all but his 2 year molars), doesn't seem to be having any tummy troubles. I can't figure it out.
Help? Adivce? Anything? I am desperate.
Re: Sleep help desperately needed!
My DD has STTN 3 times also (7 hours)! She wakes to nurse 1-2 times/night. Usually I can feed her and put her back down and she'll sleep for a couple of hours. I know how exhausting it is!
When she wakes more often than her usual, I usually try to figure out what's going on. It does sound like your LO is a little young for 2 year molars, but if they are like DD's teeth, sometimes her's make her miserable for a month or more before they finally come in. . . The behavior you describe sounds like the way my DD acts when she's teething. If I can't figure out any other cause, I usually give her a dose of Tylenol. More often than not, she sleeps much better then.
It sounds to me like he was uncomfortable (rather than seperation anxiety) because he didn't sleep well with you either.
Can someone else help you with the nighttime parenting? It really helps me that my DH puts LO to sleep while I go to bed. I get an extra hour or so that way. . . the fact that my DD has started to sleep longer stretches encourages me to continue to help her at night as needed until she is able to sleep better. I know she'll get there and this is really a very short time in her life (even if it is exhausting). I'll miss the sweet nighttime snuggles some day and I know I won't be sorry that I invested this time in her.
I did a sleep association with both kids. When I put them to sleep I turn on their nightlight (cloud b turtle) and start ocean waves or white noise.
These only come on when it is night time and the end of our routine. Experts say it takes 2 full weeks to make or break a habit so be patient.
If DS woke in the night and I knew he wasn't hungry. I don't turn on the lights, don't make eye contact, don't say anything. I just go in turn on his nightlight and white noise machine again, lay him down and walk out. He may cry for a few min but even in a drowsy state he knows that is a "trigger" to go to sleep....like Pavlov's dogs! Now he just puts himself back to sleep and knows he won't be given a bottle or taken out.
Also do you have something that attaches to the crib? We had a baby Einstein aquarium that would play ocean waves, show fish, and would dim the light after 20 min and turn off after 45. If he woke up wanting to "play" at 3am I would turn that on and let him watch the fish until he fell back asleep.
Thanks for the support. I did give him Tylenol when he woke for the second time at 1:30 last night....apparently it didn't help since we were up at 3:45! LOL. My husband does help me with nighttime stuff, but our room butts up against DS's so it doesn't really matter who physically gets up...we are both woken up anyway.
We do turn the white noise machine on "rain"...and it stays on all night. When it's bed time, we play a lullabye CD, which is about an hour long. I do have the Einstein aquarium actually, which I had taken out, but maybe I should attach it again and see if that'll help him.
If he is getting enough to eat during the day, he definitely doesn't need to be eating at night. That can stop by like 3 months. If the baby is eating at all now at night, it is habitual. It is the same with the expectation that if he cries, you will come to him. And unfortunately, you need to break all of these habits.
You should try and choose a method and just stick with that method for a few weeks to see if there are any improvements when he wakes.
Freshie Girl 9.29.12
This is not the case for many breastfed babies.
https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/4mo-sleep/
Sorry I wasn't much help. . . and that the Tylenol did not work. Maybe your LO is just needing his mama. There will come a day when he won't need you anymore - try to remember that at 3 a.m. (and 4 and 5 and 6 LOL).
I know what you mean about everyone being awake when LO is. Our DD is still in our room, so we are both up. My DH is a SAHD so he would do the nightime stuff, but LO wants me.
i had a similar situation with my DS. he was exclusively breastfed (and is still breastfeeding at 19 months), and i kept explaining his night waking away. oh, he's hungry, oh we moved, etc etc. My pedi encouraged us to try a kind of Ferber method (i think), after she checked out his ears, etc and we knew he was healthy and had no real reason for the night waking.
It took me quite a while to be strong enough to say no, but by 14 or 15 months of him waking 3-4 times a night to nurse (he would go right back to sleep after), I decided to put myself first. My husband was also very supportive. We would hear him cry, go in, pat his back, talk to him comfortingly, but not pick him up, tell him it's night night time, time for sleep, then leave. Wait 5 minutes, go back in, do the same thing. Leave, wait 10 minutes, go back in, etc. increasing the wait time in 5 minute increments until he gave up and went back to sleep. Usually by 15 minutes, he would go back to sleep. It was often times easier to send my husband because then DS knew he wasn't getting to nurse.
Your son is probably getting to the age where he understands what you are saying, so he should get to understand night night time, go back to sleep until morning. It was definitely incredibly hard for me to do, but you have to, for your sanity. I just had to get to the point where I was going to be strong and not give in - they may be babies, but they understand how to get what they want already! Good luck, mama.
ETA: it took 3-4 days of this routine for him to go to sleep and stay asleep. occasionally we have to go to comfort him now, but it's only rarely - like right now as he's getting his 2 year molars.