Working Moms

What's a good age to put LO in daycare?

I've been back at work since last Monday and my son has been going to a babysitter (my best friend's house- her grandmother lives there and watches him and a 1 year old). I love her, I trust her- when I pop up during lunches he is content or sleeping and it's only $400 dollars a month, so we are very happy with the arrangements. At what age should I put him in daycare? I know when he gets older I'm going to want him to be around other toddlers or children his age, and in some type of learning environment, but I'm not sure at what age that should begin.

 

*Might I add that I'm scared to death of putting him in daycare after seeing the video of the nine year old beating up the toddlers in DC. Tongue Tied

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Re: What's a good age to put LO in daycare?

  • LoCarbLoCarb member

     This was discussed yesterday...

     https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/67680689.aspx

    summary: 

    age 1 you begin to see benefits

    age 1- 2 most ppl prefer

    age 3 at the latest

    I'm not familiar w/ the video you speak of but it sounds awful. There are pros/cons to every DC situation-facilities, in-homes, nannies. The key is to do your research and find someone you're comfortable with and can trust.

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  • DS has been in daycare since 10 weeks old. It wasn't ideal, but I had to get back to work. I see benefits from it now, though. His separation anxiety was short-lived, he's great with other people, and he isn't so set on a schedule that if we're off by an hour, his day is ruined. And that video was awful. But if you research your DCP thoroughly, get their inspection reports from the state, and ask around, you would have never picked a DCP like that-they had over 100 infractions or something, I read on a news report.
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  • I would keep him in the environment he's in until he's at least 1.  My MIL keeps my son who is 14 months.  This summer (right after his first birthday), he started going to children's day out at the church where I work 2 days a week from 9;15-2:15.  He loves it and it gives my MIL a break. He will go 3 days a week this fall.  I would recommend a schedule like that until your son is older.  My son will go to preschool at 3.

    If you can find a good nursery school with some academic and social preparation (not just daycare/babysitting), I would go for it.  It sounds like, though, you have a great thing going.  Maybe just find a 2-3 day a week option and go from there.

  • imagemabenner1:
    DS has been in daycare since 10 weeks old. It wasn't ideal, but I had to get back to work. I see benefits from it now, though. His separation anxiety was short-lived, he's great with other people, and he isn't so set on a schedule that if we're off by an hour, his day is ruined. And that video was awful. But if you research your DCP thoroughly, get their inspection reports from the state, and ask around, you would have never picked a DCP like that-they had over 100 infractions or something, I read on a news report.

    THIS 100x. Great advice!!

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  • I disagree with 12 months. At 12 months, separation anxiety can be at it's height, and I experienced this with DD. It was horrible. She screamed and cried and hyperventialted when I left her. Of course, she got over it. But I had to put DS in daycare at 4 months, just one day per week. And it's amazing. He goes to the teachers because he still loves everyone, and it's so much easier for me to leave, and he loves it, too. I am hoping since he's been going there for the past 4 months, we won't have such terrible partings when separation anxiety does hit.
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  • My personal take is that its probably easier on YOU to leave LO will the babysitter for the first 6 months to year... but easier on LO if you get them into daycare earlier (because, as PP said, seperation anxiety can be at its height then). 

    DS went to in-home daycare at 10 weeks. The provider told me that LOs that start around his age and definitely before 5-6months do great. I think she mentioned this because they settle in before seperation anxiety kicks in (about 7 months I think). I don't do drop-off, and so far DH says LO always leaps out of his arms for the daycare provider or down to the floor to start playing with barely a goodbye to DH.

    Ask around... ask a lot of people if there is a daycare they recommend. I chose DS's in-home provider after interviewing the provider and making several visits to observe at different times of the day. It also really helped that the provider was recommended by a co-worker who had her two children there. 

    Also, about that video... DS is not in the same room with the older children. So, even if the provider was looking "out the window" there isn't the same opportunity for bullying. He's in the same room as peers his age.  Most daycares have age ranges for rooms and you can ask that during your interview!

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  • imagesugarbear0524:

    I would keep him in the environment he's in until he's at least 1.  My MIL keeps my son who is 14 months.  This summer (right after his first birthday), he started going to children's day out at the church where I work 2 days a week from 9;15-2:15.  He loves it and it gives my MIL a break. He will go 3 days a week this fall.  I would recommend a schedule like that until your son is older.  My son will go to preschool at 3.

    If you can find a good nursery school with some academic and social preparation (not just daycare/babysitting), I would go for it.  It sounds like, though, you have a great thing going.  Maybe just find a 2-3 day a week option and go from there.

     

    This is good advice! I think I will keep him there until 1 and then start him in a nursery school a few days a week like you suggested. Thanks to everyone for the advice!

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  • imageamatistajoy:

    My personal take is that its probably easier on YOU to leave LO will the babysitter for the first 6 months to year... but easier on LO if you get them into daycare earlier (because, as PP said, seperation anxiety can be at its height then). 

    DS went to in-home daycare at 10 weeks. The provider told me that LOs that start around his age and definitely before 5-6months do great. I think she mentioned this because they settle in before seperation anxiety kicks in (about 7 months I think). I don't do drop-off, and so far DH says LO always leaps out of his arms for the daycare provider or down to the floor to start playing with barely a goodbye to DH.

    Ask around... ask a lot of people if there is a daycare they recommend. I chose DS's in-home provider after interviewing the provider and making several visits to observe at different times of the day. It also really helped that the provider was recommended by a co-worker who had her two children there. 

    Also, about that video... DS is not in the same room with the older children. So, even if the provider was looking "out the window" there isn't the same opportunity for bullying. He's in the same room as peers his age.  Most daycares have age ranges for rooms and you can ask that during your interview!

     

    This is great advice too! Hmm, I will do my research, thank you!

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  • ALl good advice here. I didn't watch the video b/c I thought/assumed it was the caretakers doing the beating & I couldn't watch...a 9 yr old huhhhh???? no idea what kind of facility has 9 yr olds in with any children younger than school age, that is just bizarre. Definitely try to find a center that splits kids up into appropriate chunks (I prefer 1 year or less but I know some don't have a choice and have a little wider spread...but not like 7 yrs. !?!? that is weird.)
  • I think sometime before 6  months would be easiest.  DD started daycare at 3 1/2 months old.  She is now 15 months old and she has thrived in her classrooms. 

    Our daycare is like Fort Knox.  No one gets in that place, including parents whom they all know, without going through several check points.  There are no older kids anywhere near my child EVER. 

    DD is happy, healthy and extremely social.  She adores her teachers and all the other kids in her class.  She is on a schedule, but is also pretty flexible with change.  If anything, she sleeps better at home because of all the activities, playing, reading, learning, etc. they do.  I love it!  I would personally never use a nanny or an in-home provider. 

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  • We started our daughter at 2 months and it has been great for us.  I think perhaps it may be easier in certain aspects starting her so early (I can count on one hands the mini meltdowns she has had at drop off).  We plan on keeping her in the same daycare all the way through.  The 9 year old beating on toddlers is definitely not the norm and borderline ridiculous to have that be something that could possibly hold you back from taking your LO to daycare.  I have heard so many negative stories from friends, acquaintances, and co-workers that in home care was never an option for us (and I don't know which stories were worse...when it was a friend/family member doing the babysitting, or a stranger).
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  • I just wanted to follow up again, I would think (no facts here) that there are way more cases of nannies or in home care w/out the oversight/cameras/multiple providers of a center doing abusive or inappropriate things than that video you saw also... there is a reason that the expression nanny cam exists and I am not saying that most nannies are not great b/c I think they probably are but abuse & weird behaviors exist in all settings and I personally felt like the centers had more oversight & ppl involved to help prevent stuff like that or at least catch it if it were to happen. Just throwing that out there with respect to your fear purely based on that video.
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