The Bedtime Wars, Please Help!

TexalsMom

My adorable toddler figured out how to safely escape his crib about two months ago.  It was cute for all of about two nights and three naps before it slowly started to become a battle to get him to lay down and stay in his crib.  Now it's a full on war of the wills, and I can spend up to two hours trying to get him to go to sleep any way I can. At this point, he treats it like a game.  Some nights he goes down no problem, other nights I have to put him in his crib, walk out to the living room, touch the couch and jump back up to put him back in his crib.  If that doesn't tire him out then I have to play night guard, and as a last resort I have to lay down with him.  I hate laying with him because I don't want him to get dependent on using me like a teddy bear.

Our bed time routine is follows:

Dinner

Bath time

Bottle of soy milk and a snuggle on the couch to watch the good night show on sprout

Bed, usually between 6:30 and 8 pm, and average time of 7 pm

 (soon subject to change, going to start reading to him before bed starting tonight)

The tricky part is that I can't figure out what causes him to go down without a fight, because it does happen.  Skipping his nap makes him over tired, and makes putting him to bed that much harder. Full active days, such as a day at the beach or at the park, don't seem to change his stubborn need to fight sleep either.  It just seems like it's just a roll of the dice when it comes to how difficult it is putting him to sleep.

 

Any suggestions?

kllrbnny

Lurker here.

Is it at all feasible to put him in a toddler bed and gate his room? You could then eliminate a lot of hassle on your part.

When DD was 24m she began climbing out of her crib and I switched her to a toddler bed. I spent over a month stressing myself out to the point of tears trying different techniques to get her to stay in her bed and go to sleep. Nothing worked. Though I think DD is a bit of an extreme example things got easier for everyone when I stopped trying to control the situation.

Once we had gone through our nighttime routine I would leave a few books in her bed and tell her she could "read" in bed for a while. She is now 4 & we still do this.

It wasn't a magic pill that made her stay in bed but it elimated that stress. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink totally applies here.

If he plays quietly in his room for 2 hours before falling asleep and doesn't seem tired the next day he may just need less sleep. GL, hope this perspective helps a little.

TexalsMom

I wish I could.  Sadly I am under some difficult living conditions.  I'm am currently living at home with my parents while I attend college.  I share a tiny room with my little one, and even if I could afford the toddler bed, I have no door in my room, or real door way for that matter, so I couldn't gate him in or shut him in in any way.  As for the toy method, that only seems to encourage him to throw it, then himself, out of the crib.

TexalsMom

Although looking into a toddler bed was going to be my next step, and still is my next alternative method to get him to sleep.

sucredee

TexalsMom:

Although looking into a toddler bed was going to be my next step, and still is my next alternative method to get him to sleep.

Could you just put the crib mattress on the floor? No other advice as my DD hasn't escaped her crib yet.

TexalsMom

That is a fantastic idea, seeing he is always very interested in my air matress, it might work really well.

TexalsMom

Thank you every one for your support, I will be trying my toddler out on the floor with his crib mattress tomorrow night, and hopefully with lots of determination, I think I can get him bed trained!

Karen1998

hocus:

Personally I'd get a real bed/toddler bed at this point. Your goal here is to have him stay in his room not his bed. It is fine if he sleeps on the floor a little bit while learning that bedtime is bedtime. I also think you need a more fixed schedule. 6:30-8:00 is to broad. I'd shoot for 7:15 every night and if you get a lot of resistance then tweak that.

I agree.  I bet that's 90% of your problem.  He's overtired and the lack of a set schedule is making him go into tired-wired mode.  

olechka

Try to eliminate TV before bed and read books instead.  I got books about going to sleep and not having excitement of cartoons before bed seemed to calm her down more.

TheBuddha

Is the crib low enough to the floor that you can lower the mattress all the way to the floor INSIDE the crib? That is our next step with Z because he has now escaped his crib three times.

mamainseptember

olechka:

Try to eliminate TV before bed and read books instead.  I got books about going to sleep and not having excitement of cartoons before bed seemed to calm her down more.

Yup, agreed. DS would be over stimulated when we'd watch TV before bed. Now we read a book and but him to bed at 8pm on the dot. He goes down with one cup of milk and sleeps until 8am.