Dealing with the Ex

bakingkitty

I don't understand the SD. He blames me still for everything that is wrong in his pathetic life and yet gets upset when I don't want to talk to him.

I moved to Texas in March and stopped talking to him in April after some things were said/done that I think were inappropiate. He would email me once a month saying "hey how's it going?" Not once has he ever asked specifically how is the baby doing or anything. The 2 times I figured I would at least give him the opportunity to find out, he basically is blaming me for him not getting to see "the child". 

So I get an email from him stating that I have no valid reasons to not talk to him (other than the fact he attempted suicide [complete with note and intent] when I was 10 weeks pregnant and then threatened suicide again in May) and that how can I call myself a mother and treat the father of my child this way. In the same paragraph, he turns around and states that he needs a paternity test because he doubts the child is his because of how I am treating him. Then goes on to state how great of a new job he has and how much he makes, where he works and even how much of comission he makes. Then he has started a savings account for his daughter in which he is going to invest $1500 a year for her to have when she is 18. And so on. 

I filed for Paternity with the Texas Attorney General and have begun the process for child support. SD refused to give me an address to contact him with but the AG was able to find him based on the info he gave me about where he is working. 

I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to go on and not have to deal with all his crazy. I know that if he pays child support, he gets visitations. But is it possible for him to be required to have a psych eval before getting visitations? He lives out of state so I know that he will not be seeing her that often but the idea of him around her makes me really nervous and anxious. 

sweetie0228

Child support == visitation

They re 2 separate issues with separate court proceedings.  He doesn't automatically get anything especially if you were never married to him.

He'll get the paternity test, they will say "you are the father" all Maury Povich style and CS will be determined and probably arrears since it usually starts to accrue from date of filing but some states go back to date of birth.

THEN HE WILL HAVE TO FILE FOR VISITATION AND CUSTODY RIGHTS.

FyreFlyeRush

Bad phone! No apps for you!

FyreFlyeRush

In Texas, the AG will set up an initial visitstion/conservatorship. They are allowed to do this, but not enter negotiations between the parents. If he wants more than that, he'll have to file for it. I got sole managing conservator and no visitation agreement with DD because he didn't show up. It's never been changed. We just work it out between us. My sister did as well because her now husband, then exbf, lived in California and didn't feel like bothering with finding an atty in Texas.

Also, TX requires all child support payments to be payroll deducted and go through them. So, he'll be real happy once wage garnishment shows up. 

 

bakingkitty

This makes me feel alittle better. I was having a few 3rd tri jitters/panic moment. I highly doubt that he will attend a hearing because it is out of his way, meaning in another state.

I did not know about the payroll deduction rule either. Sadly, that makes me kinda happy to know that as long as he has a job, the baby will get some support from him. 

blueyedsweety28

child support gets deducted from payroll when they have a normal job for you lucky ladies .. but when someone owns their own business they have to pay in .. and my ex isn't paying in .. he owes since May .. !