WWYD re: family and names

Erica92

Our Daughter is almost 9 months and we named her Lillian Abigail. My SIL just had a daughter and named her Abigail. Would you be upset that she used the name Abigail or not care?

I am actually pretty pissed, and I feel like at the very least she should have talked about it with me before hand.  I should also add that I often (though not always) call her by her full name (Lillian Abigail) so it's not JUST a middle name that never gets used....

[Poll]

BrookusCookus

I wouldn't be mad, but I also have a huge family (around 30 cousins), and all of my cousins on my moms side ( about 20) share the same middle names (mark and marie). Maybe she plans to call her a nickname like abbe, gail, or babs? While it kinda sucks she doesn't get 'her own name', maybe it's something they will bond over in time? It is better than the same first name, isn't it?

princessjenney

Since your daughter is older it's going to be pretty apparent who had the name first. I might even take it as a compliment but then again I don't know what your relationship is like. At any rate, they aren't going to pay a ton of legal fees to change it so bringing it up would be a moot point. Might as well accept it.

BrittRN+

I'm not sure I'd be upset, but I would find it very strange that out of the names in this world she has to choose one of the two that I named my daughter.

TheWop

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

magsugar13

mj.reilly:

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

I completely agree! 

I also completely agree!

raefre

I voted that yes I would be upset (because I know I would have been) but I also would (eventually) get over it because, even if she uses the name Abigail and you use Lillian Abigail, they still are different names.

Lillian Abigail =/= Abigail. 

That's sorta like saying I name my son William and my SIL names their kid Liam and I get pissed even if I was only going to call my son William or Will.

plunderb

magsugar13:

mj.reilly:

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

I completely agree! 

I also completely agree!

Me too.

Somewhere, your SIL is saying to a friend, "I always wanted to name my baby after my grandmother, Abigail, and now my rotten SIL is being a huge a** about it, acting like she owns the name because it's her daughter's middle name!"

Seriously, you can't give your kid a top 10 name as a middle name and then complain when other people (even family) use that very popular name as a first name. It makes you look super controlling and self-involved.

ricecakes1216

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

This. I don't get why you are upset that she used your daughters MN. Go to any store and yell Abilgail and I'm sure 5 heads will turn.  

ObLaDi

plunderb:

Seriously, you can't give your kid a top 10 name as a middle name and then complain when other people (even family) use that very popular name as a first name.

This. 

SunshineMuffin

If my SIL ever suggested that I should have consulted with her before choosing a name for my child, I would think her insane.  It's a middle name vs a first name.  Move on.

CeCe8579

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

 This!

feistybear

If you're not a family that uses their middle names, I don't see what the big deal is. She may have always loved that name and was super stoked you only gave it to your daughter as her middle name.

Plus your daughter is older so if anything she looks like the copy cat  

EllaJax

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

This. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. DH and I decided not to divulge the name we chose because we didn't want to hear opinions. One day at a family gathering, SIL announced the names she had chosen. (she was having twin girls.) one of the names was the same thing we had chosen. My mouth hit the floor. Everyone immediately knew. She said she would choose something else if I was upset. (She already has two older girls). I said absolutely not! I wouldn't think of it. She suggested we both use the name. I gracefully backed out. Simple shotgun rules. She called the name first. DH and I chose another name. EVERYONE'S happy, no one feels jaded. Get over it. 

capulet

My name is Juliet and my older cousin's middle name is Juliette. Nobody cares. And unlike Abigail, it isn't a top 10 name and never was. This is not a big deal. Don't make it one.

jburdet1

I feel you shouldn't be upset. You may call your DD by both names but essentially Abigail is a mn for your DD. I would say you were justified in being upset if your daughter's first name was a double first name, Lillian Abigail, but it's not so I would get over it. PP'S made a good point that Abigail is super popular so you shouldn't be surprised at its reuse.

Lindseyse03

I don't think it changes anything or takes away from your daughter. My brother and first nephew are both named Andrew.

 

notkateanymore

I wouldn't be mad...it's not her fault you call her by her full name. It's not like it's a double name, so how would she know you planned on calling her by her full name a lot?

plutoisaplanet

TheWop:

Um, no I wouldn't be mad at all.  *shrug* I honestly think it's a bit odd that you're so upset about it.  Why would she need to consult you?  She named her kid what she wanted, and that happens to be your daughter's middle name.  So what?  Abigail is a pretty popular name right now.  Are you going to be mad if your daughter goes to school with an Abigail some day, you know since they stole your daughter's middle name and all.  Sorry to be snarky, but really?  And what if they call her Abby 90% of the time?  It's not even close to Lillian Abigail.  I say get over it.  No one owns a name. 

I agree with this!   

dairygirl19

I wouldn't care about this at all. Ditto WOP. She said it best.

The only people on the planet that know or care about middle names are a) Mother b) Father c) Child with the name.

Lillian Abigail and Abigail XXX are still two different names. Similiar for sure but still different.

There's bigger battles to fight..esp. for a middle vs. first name.

I have a ton of cousins, I'm pretty sure 3 of us have the same middle name and another has our middle name has a first name. Meh. We think it's a fun and unique bond to have in common.

af1274

LexiLupin:

I would wonder if Abigail is a longtime favorite name of your SIL which she always planned to use for a daughter, and then I would wonder if she'd spent the last 9 months since your DD was born (or however many months since you announced the name) agonizing on whether to still use it.

This. We hear of this situation happening a lot, and generally people are told to just use the name anyways since they love it and "no one owns a name."

Sure, maybe it would have been nice if she gave you a heads up beforehand, but it's likely both of their names will be shortened when they go to school anyways.

this decaf life

No, I wouldn't care. At least they didn't name her Lillian - I'd eye roll my SIL if they used the same FN but it's really not that big of a deal IMO but I grew up with two cousins name Jonathan [my uncle & aunt - brother & sister both used this name about a year or 2 apart for their kids]

alliejo725

You're completely overreacting.

I can't even fathom being "pissed" that someone would use my daughter's middle name, especially if it was as ungodly popular as Abigail.

kruegs1982

I would not be mad at all. In fact I would be the opposite and would be so happy that someone else likes the name just as much as I do. My first name is Abby (not Abigail) in my graduating class there were 8 other Abbys (not Abigail's) in a class of 200 and tons of others in the other classes. We all kinda liked having the same name. Also, my oldest brother is Dale Andrew but we all call him Andy and our cousins first name is Andrew also called Andy.  No one was upset and they were far enough apart in age where it wasn't confusing.