Just a rant over hair :(

BabyHernandez03

SO's ex wife & I get along fine for the most part. We can chit chat & such in passing. Her parenting style & I suppose life style etc in generally is very diffrent then ours. She can be a little ditzy but like I said we have no real problems.

So, at L's (6 yr old) K graduation I made mention since it was brought up by her, if she didn't mind, to hold off on any haircuts for the girls til after family pics in September (we usually have pix once a yr so we've don't this deal before, I just wanted to let her know it was coming up) She said  no problem at all.  I was texting with her last weekend asking for an opinion on sizes for the skirts I was ordering for pics, she kindly helped me & said Oh yeah your guys' pictures are coming up soon, that'll be fun & so on.

Girls came over yesterday, L's hair was to the small of her back a bit above her tush. Beautiful, long, thick dark dark brown hair. I took her hair out of the braids she came over with & her hair was just to just under her shoulder blades The cut was very uneven so I think it will need a re-trim.  I know not much can be done at this point & just hope it grows a bit before pics but i am heartbroken L didn't even realize how short it was-I think the braids were done right after the cut, & she was sad. It's still pretty just not as long as I & SO like. I know its her kid & she can do what she wants I suppose, I'm just a little upset & needed to vent. Thanks for listening to my silly little rant over hair. 

Holly_1007

since you have a decent relationship with BM could you ask her about it? is it possible that SD attempted to cut her hair herself so BM had to have it fixed?

It is DEFINITELY frustrating.  last spring SD decided she wanted to grow her hair/ bangs out.  we spent all summer/ fall dealing with clips, ponytails, headbands etc to keep the hair out of her eyes.  had to deal with bangs that were at her nose for our wedding etc etc.  about 2-3 weeks before they would be long enough to fit into a ponytail, BM chopped them again.  SD was really upset about it, when DH asked BM about it she said she had a "moment of bad judgment" and we would be growing them out again. I was SO pissed, so all this summer we have been dealing with growing them out again.  excessive clips/ headbands etc all over again. 

you have a few months for your SD's hair to grow, and if the cut is REALLY uneven get it taken care of sooner rather than later.  

twister22

Bummer . Hopefully it will grow out a little.

BabyHernandez03

I'm sure I could but it's not like it can be put back on & I don't want to stir the pot. I may have SO speak to her about it to make sure it doesn't happen again or with E.

No, she's done that before (twice!) years ago & honestly knows not to, she will tell if she'd like a trim (because she knows she can't do it-& she knows the difference between trim & cut)  SO's ex took her somewhere according to L-the lady was not paying attention (paying attention's a big thing in our house lol) Yup we've dealt with the bang thing too. No fun at all  

My mother is a hairdresser & actually does a good job so I'm going to have her fix. It is just darn frustrating & I am praying it grows. SN-L said to me "I'm just going to tell you when I want a trim & you tell Nonny (my mom) because Nonny does it straight & right" LOL 

BabyHernandez03

I'm so hoping it will grow too! 

Kaeldrasmommy

At least it wasn't malicious. If it's going to bug you for a long time then you may want to bring it up, just to get it out of your system. Tell BM that you're sad that she decided to cut her hair right now. But if you can let it go, then it probably isn't worth mentioning.

BabyHernandez03

It happened before with E...it was butt length & it was cut to shoulder length-cried over that for sure. I don't believe its malicious just poor judgement honestly. I decided I will have SO talk to her about it, since he gets upset about it also & he should be involved in the decision. I sometimes have a problem with holding onto things like this so I agree better to get it out there. She may have just forgotten but at least she'll know it upset us when we have something coming up.

Ooglybear

Honestly, long hair is such a huge PITA for little girls: washing, brushing, styling, keeping cool in summer. I wouldn't blame BM for cutting it, esp since it sounds like its still a reasonably long length. I'm assuming BM is the one responsible for the majority of the hair care on a daily basis, so I don't think its fair for you to expect her to deal with all that hair for so many months every year. It would've been nice for her to take your wishes into account, though. 

BabyHernandez03

She has the children the majority of the time yes. I myself have put in plenty of man hours washing, detangling combing, brushing rinse & repeat. They get bathed the night they get here (if they haven't bathed that day & the day the leave-we usually have them Sat Sun Mon) If they didn't play hard they get a quick shower without the hair process on the middle day. Without going into a big long background on everything-which no one wants to hear I'm sure, their mother is unfortunetly extremely lazy with some things. Hygiene & grooming are probably the 2 biggest with safety as a close 3rd. Anywho, it would've been nice but what are you going to do. 

jkacera15

i understand the frustration. my sc's BM was giving them haircuts at home and I finally told my SD(6) she's going with me from now on when i get my hair done. She always claims to want to grow her hair out but when BM tries trimming her hair we end up paying to have it straightened and it'll never grow at that rate. hopefully it stops. my SS(4) has come over with hunks missing out of the back of his head before because BM tries to cut it. we ended up taking him with DH to get his hair buzzed. and now he just looks even cuter than he did before. you would think with the CS money a decent haircut fits in the category of what the money is used for...but instead we are the ones handling that.

fellesferie

I love my hair, and I've always had it long. I love my daughter's hair, which is also long.

It would never even occur to me that it would be a problem to cut it from almost-waist length to just below the shoulder blades. Even for pictures/wedding/whatever. 

People claim that when your hair is long, you have to cut it to shoulders or above for people to even notice you got it cut. 

The uneveness thing would irritate me for sure, but I'm having a hard time connecting to the notion of getting upset over the kind of cut mentioned in the OP. Especially in the summer when it's so hot.

DS wanted to grow his hair out this summer. It lasted until his first swim meet when we had to put his swim cap on. We went and got it cut the next day, and I would have done it even if XH didn't want me to. 

jkacera15

i plan on buying clippers to do SS's hair from now on because he loves having it buzzed. no combing or water to make it lay correctly so it cuts his "getting ready" time in the mornings down to practically nothing.

SD has grown her bangs out and are finally recently long enough to pull behind her ears and clip out of her face without them falling out. But the poor thing has had some pretty uneven hair off and on because of getting her hair cut at her BM's house. I have a good friend who owns a salon and does my hair so I don't mind taking her with me and I've tried relaying that message that its pretty much free and its not a big deal for me to get her hair trimmed instead of her dealing with it herself or paying for it. But some people are just too proud to let things go...