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Parenting
Fueling the Mommy Wars
So, I've been thinking about the post from earlier in the week with the link to "French Kids Don't Throw Food" or someshit title like that.
You know what? I don't care what French kids do or don't do.
As long as you're raising your kid with good values, morals, and manners, I think ppl should raise thier kid along "rules" that work for them.
My kid doesn't always eat what we're eating...I offer her a bite of what we're eating. If she likes it, great. If not, then she can eat the dinner I've prepared for her. And while I always serve her fresh steamed brocolli, green beans and fruit with meals, her entree may be mac & cheese, a chix quesadilla, almond butter sandwhich, or whatever else I feel like making. I'd rather have a kid with a fully belly that will let me get some sleep during the night than insist she eat grilled salmon.
And (when eating dinner at home) if you're kid under three needs to get up and run around while mom and dad finish dinner (and thier wine), so be it. If your kid can't sit still at a fancy restaurant, then don't bring your kid to a fancy restaurant. That's just the way it is.
I'm so tired of these books that speak about how you're supposed to raise your kid. Writing about or bragging about how you're raising a "perfect little angel" doesn't make some chick a better mom than me.
All it does it fuel the mommy wars.
/rant
I'm being dragged to a family event today....so talk amongst yourselves.
"Fvuck 'em if they can't take a joke." - Bette Midler
Boom Shaka Laka
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Fueling the Mommy Wars
I think when people become defensive it fuels the mommy wars even more, This post reeks of defensiveness and your attempt at validation. If you really didn't care you would not even bring it up.
There are plenty of how to books. It's not a judgment on your parenting to write them or promote them.
Do you get defensive about the tiger mom stuff or the happiest toddler on the block books? They are all different approaches to parenting. Not sure why you guys take it so personally.
I'm Italian, and I raise my kids that way. People don't like it? They don't have to spend ANY time with us. /fin
I agree, and I really really really hate the mommy wars. I left a FB group over a bunch of self righteous moms starting crap about vaccination.
Nora, getting defensive over someone implying that you're not doing a great job raising your kid, is completely okay. Who TF cares if this post "reeks" of it? Asking for validation is fine too.
From what I understand, isn't that book a call out, saying that the reason our kids suck is because we don't raise them the "correct" French way? That's pretty judgy and nowhere close to happiest baby on the block, which is simply tips on how to make your life easier as a parent. Not saying you're sh?tty because you give your child a kids meal.
Someones panties are in a wad,but it doesn't seem to be the OP's
Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
de?fen?sive
[dih-fen-siv] Show IPAexcessively concerned with guarding
against the real orimagined threat of criticism,
injury to one's ego, orexposure of one's shortcomings.
Well, thank you for c&p a dictionary definition instead of actually trying to prove your point.
Mmmhmmm.
Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
This is my siggy. Love it.
Ha! Friends?
This is my siggy. Love it.
Says the person with the most posts in this thread.
Guise, SHE DOESN'T CARE!!!!1!111!ELEVEN!
I haven't read the book. I'm sure there are a few good ideas in every parenting book and some that people will debate and disgaree with. Take out of it what you will. Pick your battles and try your best to raise your children according to your standards and morals. Does that cover it?
I read the book while I was pregnant and didnt feel like it was overly judge-y. More like, "I'm an American mom, living in France, and here is what I have observed." there are many times throughout the book when she says she feels like a bad mom because her kids aren't as well-behaved as their French peers. There are a lot of French ideologies that she doesn't necessarily agree with, but overall I got the "this is what I've observed" vibe. She definitely has chosen to raise her children in a French style because she lives there full time, but I didn't get a judge-y "this is the only way to parent" attitude from the book.
That said, I think a lot of American parents get overly defensive about their parenting style. (Not you, Tuna, or anyone else in this post .) So I think that's why the book has such a bad rep. Several of her main points on parenting I have actually seen discussed on this board and many of us seem to agree with her.
In reality, I don't think any book can give you a hard and fast set of rules on how to parent. You take what you know and whatever you have learned and make the best decision for you and your family, and don't get too worked up about those who do it differently.
Oh hai, who are you again? And why should I give a rats asss what you think?
You're "defending" your opinion a bit much, yes?
I read a post on the proboards P&CE board about "underparenting".
I'm down with that parenting style. No mommy wars because it's the parenting style of the lazy.
I strongly suggest wearing panties.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
<a href
!!!!
lolz.
I'm not big on parenting books in general and I haven't read this particular one. With a few of the comments however, I'm wondering if people are reacting to the actual book, or the attitude of people who have read the book and have now decided that they are the best parents ever.
I know I have a few friends on facebook who have made comments about the ideas in the book, basically saying that American parents should be more like French parents. Apparently we all let our kids run amok and don't care if they misbehave. From what I gathered about the book it seems like French parents and American parents have different ideas about what is age appropriate behavior. Am I right? Whose to say which expectations are "right" or "wrong." I honestly just don't care. We're raising our kids the way we think they should be raised and I don't care if people disagree.
French kids get just as screwed up as American kids. FWIW, the obesity rate for French children is now at 11.5% Still below the American child, but, perhaps not so coinsidentally, the anorexia/ bulimia/ cumpulsive eating rate is slightly higher among young French girls that young American Girls.
It is estimated that the obesity rate in France will meet the obesity rate in the States within 50 years.
I know that this has nothing to do with the book, but just some food for thought next time you get upset that the French do everything better.
But, I will wholeheartedly make the argument that French food is the single best type of food on the planet. I could eat it everyday if I were rich and not worried about my cholesterol and waistband.