Bi-Monthly 6+ updates...

Rawr08

Hey ladies!  Seems a lot has gone on since the last "check in"  (I HATE that term, can we call it something else, like a wine and cheese party?  I'm open to suggestions).  So tell us the good, the bad and the ugly.  We also love a good pretty story thrown in every once in awhile.  Sending all my love and hugs to those who have needed it.

Rawr08

The past 2 weeks for me have been hell, so say the least.  My anti-depressant went generic (which is $10 cheaper for me), but I don't think it is working the same way.  After much crying and threats to be locked up in the loony bin, I decided I needed to go talk with me Dr.  This was her last chance.  My anxiety is getting worse (the xanax is not working the same any more).  My feet are still swollen despite being put on a stronger diuretic.

ANY WAY -  Dr told me she wants to see a therapist, I don't want to go.  She told me she doesn't want to prescribe me xanax any more, even after I told her about my suicidal thoughts.  So she handed me an RX for something to take along with my once again name brand anti-depressant and still gives me 20 xanax a month.  Monday I am going to see DH's Dr to see if he will be a little more willing to help me.

 On TTC, there is nothing.  I think we are done TTC.  The older I get, the less I want children.  I know I am still young, and maybe I will change my mind.  We just don't want it right now.  That doesn't mean I don't cry when I hear an announcement of pregnancy or birth, it doesn't mean I don't still stare at anyone who looks remotely pregnant.  It doesn't mean I don't still hold onto a shred of hope every month that it will just happen.  It doesn't mean I don't fall into a deeper depression when AF shows up.  I guess it just means that I have come to terms with it.  But from what I just said it doesn't seem that way. 

Gregermis

Well... I basically posted below.  But FET#2 was a complete failure.  We have one embryo left and DH and I are discussing what to do with it.  I need to schedule my WTF appointment and talk to my RE.  We'll probably stay with the same clinic, but will most likely get a second opinion.  I dunno..

In the mean time, my BFF from K-12 is getting married next weekend in San Fran and our 3rd Anniversary is coming up and we're talking about doing a wine tour .  And I should get to dive into work and distract myself again starting next week.

CashewsMommy

I'm so sick of my OPKs, last week they looked like they were so close to being +. I even wasted 2 digitals. I'm just so sick of my body. I wish we could move forward, but DH just can't see "wasting" $1000 on a chance to get pregnant. He keeps throwing out "it happened on it's own twice now!" Whatever. 

 

I'm still waiting to hear about my job interview.  

I'm sitting home every day with my SS, whom we just had a major character talk. He was lying, negative, mean, constantly talked back, and hated spending time with us (which we have him for the summer) because we yell at him when he does these things, and BM doesn't. 

10 years ago I started to crochet to make one thing. A year later I realized it was knit, not crocheted. And finally, today, I finished it!! I am so freaking proud of it!!

 

CashewsMommy

Rawr08:

The past 2 weeks for me have been hell, so say the least.  My anti-depressant went generic (which is $10 cheaper for me), but I don't think it is working the same way.  After much crying and threats to be locked up in the loony bin, I decided I needed to go talk with me Dr.  This was her last chance.  My anxiety is getting worse (the xanax is not working the same any more).  My feet are still swollen despite being put on a stronger diuretic.

ANY WAY -  Dr told me she wants to see a therapist, I don't want to go.  She told me she doesn't want to prescribe me xanax any more, even after I told her about my suicidal thoughts.  So she handed me an RX for something to take along with my once again name brand anti-depressant and still gives me 20 xanax a month.  Monday I am going to see DH's Dr to see if he will be a little more willing to help me.

 On TTC, there is nothing.  I think we are done TTC.  The older I get, the less I want children.  I know I am still young, and maybe I will change my mind.  We just don't want it right now.  That doesn't mean I don't cry when I hear an announcement of pregnancy or birth, it doesn't mean I don't still stare at anyone who looks remotely pregnant.  It doesn't mean I don't still hold onto a shred of hope every month that it will just happen.  It doesn't mean I don't fall into a deeper depression when AF shows up.  I guess it just means that I have come to terms with it.  But from what I just said it doesn't seem that way. 

 

I'm so glad that you're going to see another doctor, it never hurts to get a 2nd opinion especially when you're having the thoughts you are. {{{Hugs}}} We love you!!

I kind of hear you about the TTC part.

Back when we were trying for Aurora, we were in the mind frame of "If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't." Now, we're kind of falling back into that mind frame. I don't know. It's weird. Maybe I just know there is nothing more I can do right now without spending an arm and a leg, so why fight it?  

 

 

 

 

Gregermis:

Well... I basically posted below.  But FET#2 was a complete failure.  We have one embryo left and DH and I are discussing what to do with it.  I need to schedule my WTF appointment and talk to my RE.  We'll probably stay with the same clinic, but will most likely get a second opinion.  I dunno..

In the mean time, my BFF from K-12 is getting married next weekend in San Fran and our 3rd Anniversary is coming up and we're talking about doing a wine tour .  And I should get to dive into work and distract myself again starting next week.

{{Hugs}} I am so sorry FET #2 was a failure. This is so unfair!

Ohhh!!! I love wine tours!!! Have a wonderful time, and taste lots!  

Allie-Jo

Hey Everyone!  I have missed you all like crazy, and I am horrible at showing it.  The last 2 months have been a roller coaster and I feel like I am terrible at being supportive.  I did want to post to let you all know I am probably gonna cease posting heren other then maybe saying hi.  DH and I went to an introduction meeting with Bethany Christian services on Tuesday, and after taking the rest of the week discussing everything we felt, we decided we are going to pursue adoption!  So, I will still be lurking and looking for updates on all of you, but seeing as we are no longer TTC I dont know how much I would contribute(like I did so much anyways)  Love you alls!!!  I will be praying for you and thinking of you all often!

Gregermis

CashewsMommy:

 

 

This is awesome!!!!  Good for you!!

Gregermis

Petra - you better PM me when you are up here!  Good luck with the big needles

VinceandAng - I've got my Fx for you!!

Allie-Jo

vinceandang:

wickedsugar:

Me... Well I have decided to Not get the IUD in Aug, and tentiavely we have deciced, since my kidneys are stable right now, that we may TTC again hardcore (ie temping/OPK's) for 6 months and if we get Pg Great ! If not, then we know is not ment to be.

Hooray!!!! That's exciting news!!!! I'll keep my fx constantly crossed!!!! :-) 

YEY!!!  I am so excited for you Wicked!!!

HopingforChange

We're still just waiting for AF so we can do this testing!  Nothing new to report, really.

millejj1

Big hugs to everyone.

In non-TTC world, I leave in less than two days for Guyana!! I'm just ridiculously excited and can't wait to have an adventure! 

In TTC- well, I am queen of the bench. Still.  We were thinking about going back to NTNP after I got home, but the malaria meds say birth control for three months after taking them, so back to TTA we go!

LilMaggs

DH is out of school, and taking his boards.

 

As far as TTC?  The longer we've decided to "give up" on it, the more we're starting to be ok with that.  We have the boys, and 5 years of TTCAL failure is slowly moving behind us.  We're moving on, and finally starting to find peace.  Random bouts of tears still happen, but they're becoming less frequent.  

 I'll be taking Friday to our first horse show as a team in September if all goes well. 

Smootiepie

DH is officially scheduled for a varicocelectomy in September.  If there's not enough improvement 3 months post-surgery, he'll go on Clomid for low T.  So the hope is that his numbers will be high enough in about 7 months for IUI.  If not, we'll have to start discussing IVF vs. adoption.

jenn0021

Not much new on my end. Still trying to figure out what's going on with my insides. I had my CT scan last week and will get the results August 14th and will be discussing what the next step is. I'm on a new regimen of taking vitamins and a metamucil type drink every day and I think it might be helping. But I don't know. Just taking it one day at a time.

In TTC news, we're going back and forth between thinking we should just try again and thinking we should wait. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. Maybe this "sickness" I have is permanent and I just need to learn to live with it. But on the other hand, I feel like I should let my body heal a bit more before actively TTC. Bah. We just have no idea what to do.

CashewsMommy

wickedsugar:

Me... Well I have decided to Not get the IUD in Aug, and tentiavely we have deciced, since my kidneys are stable right now, that we may TTC again hardcore (ie temping/OPK's) for 6 months and if we get Pg Great ! If not, then we know is not ment to be.

Yaaaahooo!!!!!! 

CashewsMommy

vinceandang:

I'm 3dp5dt. I'm feeling super anxious and I'm 2nd guessing everything about this cycle. I need to relax.

 

Funny Story- At my ET on Wednesday....the nurse brought us back to the room and told me to stay dressed because my RE was going to come chat with us before the transfer. After he chatted with us, I was supposed to get undressed. I quickly dropped my pants and sat on the table. There was no "drape cloth" (or whatever it's called). My RE has seen me SO many times it didn't even phase me. I just sat there in my tank top naked from the waist down. My RE came in, took one look at me and burst into laughter. He told me I was being "very European" about the whole thing (and quickly got me the drape cloth thing). It's funny. Prior to IF, I would NEVER have gotten undressed at my OBGYN without the drapey thing. But, now....no prob. 

All of my FX for you!!  

CashewsMommy

Allie-Jo:

Hey Everyone!  I have missed you all like crazy, and I am horrible at showing it.  The last 2 months have been a roller coaster and I feel like I am terrible at being supportive.  I did want to post to let you all know I am probably gonna cease posting heren other then maybe saying hi.  DH and I went to an introduction meeting with Bethany Christian services on Tuesday, and after taking the rest of the week discussing everything we felt, we decided we are going to pursue adoption!  So, I will still be lurking and looking for updates on all of you, but seeing as we are no longer TTC I dont know how much I would contribute(like I did so much anyways)  Love you alls!!!  I will be praying for you and thinking of you all often!

Best of luck to you on the adoption process hun!!!  

CashewsMommy

PetraStonegirl:

I've stopped the Provera and am waiting for AF to show. Felt a random cramp today, so shouldn't be too much longer, maybe within the week. Wednesday is my baseline and if all looks well, I bust out the big needles. Intramuscular delestrogen every 3rd day. Projected sFET day would be Aug 27th-ish.

Here's hoping my body can get it right, this time. 

Your body better get it right this time! Let's go ute!!  

CashewsMommy

jenek0213:

Just waiting now. Donor is picked and our thaw will be September 17th. Its several weeks later then we hoped but it is when the lab was available. Good news - insurance is paying about a third of our costs this time. Now the anxiety is slowly ratcheting up. I am just terrified that this won't work. I'm so used to everything going badly - it is awful hard to envision something going right.... the only thing keeping me from panicking out of my skin is that with the insurance coverage - we will have enough in savings to afford a fresh cycle if this cyro egg transfer doesn't work.  But I LOVE this donor and I just want so badly for this donor to work. Our protocol consult with the doctor is tomorrow and we'll get the official calendar.

This is exciting!!!! I really hope this is it for you!!!  

CashewsMommy

HFC - I hope your testing goes well! 

Millejj - Have a great time!!! I'm so jealous!

LilMaggs - {{{hugs}}}

Smootie - I hope your DHs boys grow big and strong!!!

Jenn - {{{hugs}}}

Erin - I really hope your surgery goes well. I'm sorry your DH will be OOT for that time, but i'm glad your mom is coming up!

 

KGS2003

Not much happening here. I am dealing with some family drama with one of my siblings that has me all stressed out. Hopefully it will right itself soon. If not I'm going to be faced with a tough love situation and I'm not looking forward to that. 

In TTC we are in our numb phase.  I finish my last provera dose last night and I am just waiting for AF to arrive then I start all over again. Looking on the positive side one month down two to go.  

Sounds like there is a lot going on with everyone.  I wish you all the best of luck as we all continue planning and living our lives. 

hungryhippo

Late to the party on this one too... but just want to say that I read every single update here and am always thinking of each and every one of you.

FX crossed to everyone cycling/trying right now and those about to get back in the game! 

((Hugs)) and hope to everyone grieving/feeling extra frustrated/waiting for reasons beyond control.

Continued peace to those of you feeling peaceful about the place you are in right now.

I posted my update a few threads below this one, so there's not much else to report for now.