I hate my soon to be BIL. He is a total douchecanoe. He makes racist jokes, sexist comments, and a wide variety of inappropriate comments beyond those. He kept trying to hand my not-quite-3-month-old a cigar because he thought it was funny. He makes comments about his guns and frequently tells us how he'd use them to solve problem x,y or z. He carries one on him at all times (as far as I know). Overall the guy creeps me out. And he's going to be in my family for the rest of my life.
FTR: I don't generally make a habit of disliking people. I've really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and find something likable about him. After about a year, I now give up. I will now put my effort into not making my dislike of him visible for all to see.
Re: Vent
Have you told him these things are inappropriate (the jokes, cigar, etc.)? Maybe he's just an idiot and doesn't realize he's offending people.
On the other hand, he may not care, but it's worth saying something.
Eeesh, I wouldn't want him as a BIL either. What does your DH say about the BIL situation?
ETA: or what does your sister say about BIL? Is it your SO's brother or your sister's fiance?
Some things I can ignore, but racist jokes don't fly with me in front of my children. How do you not strangle him?
Also, how often do you see him? Is this your sister or DH's? What does she think of all this? Not much probably since she's marrying him:(
My BIL and your soon to BIL could be the same person!
I have given him the benefit of the doubt for the last four years, but now that we live closer to him, I am worried. He showed up the second day in our new house talking some mad crap. I try to ignore him, but sometimes he really crosses the line. It really sucks, because I get along so well with all my other ILs, it stinks he has to be the jerk!
You are far more patient and forgiving than I am. I don't believe being family (blood related or married into) gives anyone to act like an ass infront of DS. My dad is amazing with DS, but he makes the occasional inappropriate comment that I don't want DS thinking is okay. He has been told that if he is caught saying anything racist around DS, he will no longer be around DS.
I don't understand why the cigar thing isn't funny.
Sounds funny to me.
The cigar was lit?
I thought maybe he was just handing the cigar over like people give their infants keys to keep them distracted.
This post is random/weird.
Sorry for the post and run.
Yes, this post was weird and random. Sometimes it just feels better to vent to people.
He's my SIL's fianc?.
The rest of the family tolerates him because she's going to marry him.
He cigar was not lit, but DD is starting to stick everything she can hold on to into her mouth. Chewing on a cigar doesn't seem like the best thing for a baby. I'm not sure why this would be funny.
I'm calmer about the whole thing now. I probably just have to be the buzz kill who continues to tell him that his comments are not okay... Though I'm really hoping DH will step up on this one.