Say what?!?!

ashleybritton

I delivered at 34 weeks due to atypical HELLP syndrome. Atypical because the only symptoms I had were low platelets and protein in my urine. Both symptoms I still have today. I have had the hardest time accepting that diagnosis. I felt perfectly fine - blood pressure was perfect, but I was told my body was in the process of shutting down and if I didn't deliver I was putting both Owen's life and my own at risk.

I met with the hematologist today and he told me I did NOT have HELLP. He was certain that I had ITP. I have so mny emotions around this. I feel relieved and validated hearing that it wasn't HELLP. I just knew that wasn't what it was. I'm also really mad that Owen didn't have to be a preemie. I kept saying I thought we were rushing into a delivery, but was assured it was necessary.

I'm trying to tell myself that the best course of action was taken based off the information we had and part of me believes that. It's not standard practice to do routine platelet checks every month. How could they have known? But to be honest, the NICU was pure hell and I just keep thinking it didn't have to happen. After it happened I felt so robbed. I was starting to make some peace with that and now I'm back to square one.

Sorry this is long and rambling. I'm just so shocked.

The hematologist I met with today was the same one that consulted with my doctors in the hospital when they made the HELLP diagnosis. It was follow-up blood work, looking at my sisters blood work in her pregnancy, and Owen's platelet levels that led him to say I did not have HELLP so I feel pretty confidant with his new "diagnosis".

Missa_g

It's tough not to look back and wonder what if sometimes.  Remember that hindsight is 20/20.  You're right that they did what they thought was best for you and your baby.  As a parent that's all you can do.  I hope you can find peace with it again soon.