S/O FFFC Embarrassing Vibrator Stories
hazysherman11
member
So my mom is insanely controlling and also nosey andplusalso thinks she can do whatever the fluck she wants whenever the fluck she wants to do it.
A fews years back I was staying at my parents house and thought everyone was asleep, so I broke out the toy. Next thing I know my mom comes flying through my closed door without even knocking, WHILE I WAS "IN THE PROCESS". I was mortified!!! She now knocks when my door is closed.
Then about a month ago, my parents were helping me move, because my mom is super controlling and wants things done her way even if they don't involve her at all. She pretty much packed up our whole apartment and then drove 8 hours and unpacked all of our stuff into our new house, so she could put it where SHE wanted it to go. She did it while DH and I were at work. I had one of those plastic drawers things, and the bottom drawer was our "sex drawer". It had vibrators, lube, sexy pjs, and sex toys. Well she decided that the set of drawers should be used for something else and emptied everything out... When I got home there was a box in our bedroom titled "things a mother should never see". Well bish thats what you get for being insanely controlling and going through my shiz!!! I was more pissed than embarrassed this time!
Re: S/O FFFC Embarrassing Vibrator Stories
ew ew ew ew.
Mine's *kinda* a vibrator story...DH and I flew back to our hometown for a visit one Christmas, and my Dad, step-mom, little sister, and little brother all greeted us at the airport. We got to the car and they started loading our suitcases. All of a sudden, we heard this loud buzzing noise. We all looked at each other and I probably went white as a sheet thinking, "wait, DID I pack my vibrator?!?" I was panicking because I couldn't remember, and thinking OMG how am I going to get out of this. I didn't have much time to think because DH opened the suitcase, and we saw that it was just his electric beard trimmer. OMGOMGOMG I was scared sh!tless for a second.
Nikki- I normally wouldn't let her go through my stuff, but I loathe packing and unpacking. So I let her do it all, and then just moved everything to where I wanted it after I left.
Chelsey- OMG that would horrify me as well!!! I'm glad it wasn't
Oh I gotta good one. DH bought me a big ole plastic non vibrating dil, as a joke (YES, I swear!)... because before him, I had never even seen one (yes, I live in a box). I still lived at home, and I didn't know what to do with it, so I wrapped it in an old tshirt and shoved it under my mattress. I then moved in with DH (then FI at the time), and packed my room and didn't take it with me because I forgot it was there. My mom took that room and made it a guest room. Well, she decided that my mattress was nicer than hers, so she wanted to switch. SOooo. Her and my dad moved the mattress one day. I guess they came across the little package under the mattress. I supposed my dad was utterly mortified. My mom came to me one day and handed me the dil wrapped in the shirt. As soon as I saw the shirt, my heart stopped. She said, "Um, I think this is yours." Once I could move, I started laughing hysterically. I tried to tell them that it was a joke, but she just said, "That's your business." DH and I still laugh about it to this day. And FWIW, that went into the trash. I don't know why I didn't throw it out in the first place. I guess I was afraid of my dad finding it in the trash, LOL. But, turns out he found it anyway.
DS - 7.2006 - C-Section b/c Breech
DS2 - 4.2008 - Successful Vbac
DD - 5.2012 - Successful Vbac
No embarrassing stories here. I am not easily embarrassed. I am very open about my sex life, even with my parents. I remember the day after I had sex for the first time I told my mom. Just kinda dropped it like a non-nonchalant FYI(I was 16 at the time). I never kept anything from her so I felt she needed to know.
Also about a year ago after I had a Pure Romance party with some friends I was talking with my mom about it. I then brought the catalog over and discussed some of the non-self-explanatory things to her. Later I helped her shop on Adam and Eve online.
I hope that one day Peyton will feel just as comfortable with me as I am with my mom.
Now that i'm older, i'm definitely the same with my mom, and hope my DD will feel the same way. My mom was in the delivery room for both my DS and DD. She yells at me when I seem stressed that I should go "get some." LOL.
DS - 7.2006 - C-Section b/c Breech
DS2 - 4.2008 - Successful Vbac
DD - 5.2012 - Successful Vbac
I guess what makes me an oddball is it didn't take me getting to adulthood to be so open about it all. I'd start giving specific examples but I am not looking to get a bunch of side-eyes or over-share. As open as I am, and as little shame I have, I have to also remember to respect that others may not want to hear about it. Haha.
When we moved this past October and February I labeled the box on all six sides "DO NOT OPEN". Although it made it obvious what was in there, at least no one actually had to SEE the contents.
Haha! If I knew how to bold I would so bold that last sentence. That is me too.
Hahaha! *high five* Yeah I have to make a huge effort to contain my openness.
Mine was really horrific. I had just started getting serious with my now husband. He went out of town on an all day hike and I had lunch with my ex and really good friend. I came home to find that I had been robbed. I walked in and my dog was in the house when I had left him outside and my brand new TV was gone. I was totally confused. I told him what happened and we backed out of the house and called the cops. The cops get there and start going through the house with me to see what had been taken. The robbers has gotten in by throwing a rock threw my bedroom window and gone through all my drawers dumping *** out. As we are going through my bedroom I see my vibrator tossed on my bed. Right next to where the cop was standing. I was mortified. I quickly flipped the covers over it.
My sister had it worse. She had just moved out of my parent?s house and hadn?t taken all her ***. My youngest sister (she was 12 at the time) was using her room as a computer room and was looking for something. She found my middle sisters vibrator and asked my stepmom what it was.
I hope this happens to my brother soon! He just turned 25 and has never had a girlfriend let alone kissed before. He hasn't even made any friends since we moved here 6.5 years ago.
I can accept that people don't need significant others to be happy in life, but life with no friends must get lonely. I did manage to convince him to adopt a cat a few months ago though!
Sounds like our brothers have a lot in common! If my brother ever does decide to look for love, I can imagine he will turn to something like Match.com. He doesn't seem unhappy with his life or anything, at least not from outside of the box. But still, I'd like to be an aunt one day!
OMG my brother is 27 and never been kissed or anything. Good to know there is hope for him!
Dude, are we the same person?! Haha I just posted I have a total virgin brother too!
Sweet! I always wanted a sister...that is unless you are a creepy old man in his tighty whities behind that keyboard of yours...oh wait, no, that's Gisa, nevermind.
That is FANTASTIC!
Bare with me, this is my first ever gif attempt...
ETA: Wahhh, I suck.
ETAA: Maybe now? I feel like the joke is dead now, but I might as well practice my giffing skills.
ETAAA: Yup, I give up.
This is SO my brother. I keep trying to set him up and he refuses, still lives with my mom and dad, and we would be blown away if he did this suddenly. That must be crazy, and really makes me want to start a match.com account for him! I heard it's expensive? T/F?
I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.
Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
You just insert the code that starts with [IMG] some websites say for forums next to it, some just list it as the IMG code.
::testing out block quotes::
The one I chose only had URL and HTML. Lame.
Hmm very interesting, his birthday is tomorrow maybe I will have to hook him up with a profile, or suggest it and see how he responds.
Thats great that you had that type of relationship with your mom. I hope I raise Olivia to feel like she can talk to me about anything.
My story is that I used to live with my Grandmother while I was in college, (wicked lame I know). Anyway we were moving and she found my vibrator in the process. She never said anything but I knew she found it bc it was out on the nightstand instead of the draw it was in. We have never talked about it to this day lol.
I have a cruel cousin, him and I were digging in my moms drawer for tweezers when I found one...I was like what is this thing? I thought it was so pretty, he said "ohhh I've seen those on T.V it makes headaches go away if you rub it on your forehead."
So I start using it...ignoring the fact that my cousin is giggling uncontrollably. My dad saw me and says "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?" so I said
"DADDY I HAVE A HEADACHE!".....i then was slapped for being a smarta*ss...should have been slapped for being a dumba*ss....My dad was so confused but he knew I needed to be punished for something. A*shole cousin, we still joke about it.
I'm officially glad my mother has never helped me move! Haha.
I am comfortable talking about sex with everyone BUT my mom. Her version of the birds and the bees talk included a section on all her crazy fetishes. Then I learned not to ask what a anything is because we were at a subway one day when I was maybe 16 and I asked what this weird looking key on her keychain was for. Well apparently it's for this little box jank that gets locked on a guys goodie bits. Also her drawer AND under the bathroom sink were full of crazy looking sh!!t. Oh and I was looking for something one day and stumbled across naked pictures. Of my mom. Using anal beads. I'm not boring in the sack and I like to try new things but after growing up with that I was plain Jane for quite awhile because sex toys made me think of my parents which made me want to gag in the middle of sex haha
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12