So 2 yr old was squashing the baby. I told her to stop. She then redoubled her efforts to squash the baby. I grabbed her off the baby and shrieked at her (this was at the end of a long day of her repeatedly trying to hit/squash/sit on the baby and constantly ignoring any request I made of her.
So she stopped trying to squash the baby and then started insisting I use the pyjamas she wanted me to put on the baby, rather than the pair I had in my hand and was about to put on her. She starts pulling my pair away and pushing her pair into my hand (she's not very verbal). At which point I start shrieking at her again because I'm over being bossed around by a 2 yr old.
Then I pause. I consider why I'm shrieking at my 2 yr old (in reality I'm still mad about the squashing incident that just happened, I really don't care what pyjamas DD2 wears)
So with a gentle tone I ask DD1 if she'd like me to use the pyjamas she has for Jane. She agrees she would. So again being very gentle, we talk about how she'd gone and chosen the pyjamas for Jane and she helps undo some buttons.
Then she just hugs me, and tells me she's making me happy.
It was a nice end to a long hard day. I'm pretty sure I would have told me to F off, if I was her.