I don't think this has been shared yet (it's making the rounds on FB).
OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 7 months. The
first few months were great. I cried, she picked me up and fed me,
anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks,
she has been trying to STTN (Sleep Through The Night). At first, I
thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked
to other babies, and it seems like it?s pretty common after Mommies have
had us for around 6 months. Here's the thing: these Mommies don't
really need to sleep. It?s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30
years to sleep and they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing
a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this: Night 1: cry
every 3 hours until you get fed. I know it?s hard. It?s hard to see your
Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it?s for
her own good. Night 2: cry every 2 hours until you get fed. Night 3:
every hour. Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3
nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer.
These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don?t give
in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her
STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every
night. I KNOW IT?S HARD! But she really doesn?t need the sleep, she?s
just resisting the change. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you
can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go
back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually
work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she
can do it. Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to
stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I
could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle
under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it
tasted like pears. I hadn?t eaten pears since lunch, what?s up with
that? The cat said "meow". I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this
about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it
sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too
cold, just right ? doesn?t matter! Keep crying!! It took a while, but it
worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need
to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your
Mommies internal clocks. Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements
by sending in Daddy. Don?t worry Daddys are not set up for not needing
sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhhing
before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy. Also, be wary of the
sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy false hope that
listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my
eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to
sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn?t get to me fast
enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her
running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to
realize that she really doesn?t really need sleep. P.S. Don?t let those
rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk
will come out. Trust me.
Re: Very funny - re CIO
I'm so glad you posted this, I was looking for it the other day! Cracks me up every time.