*Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up? 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?

I don't know if I'd call it healing but I did hold a baby about a month ago.  It was our friends baby that has been in the NICU for 6 months.  For some reason it's just different with them and I wanted to hold him.  Yes, I bawled the entire time but my friend and the nurse they had that day were both wonderful.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

I'm still working on finding myself but I've realized that I'm starting to "get into things" again.  I started running and actually kind of like it and I'm starting to get into cooking.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

We sold our house last week (yay!) but the house we wanted is gone so in about 24 days we'll have no place to go so we've been looking at houses, houses, houses trying to find some place to live

GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up?

A meteorologist and I really don't know why.  Yep, I'm a legal assistant now.

Bayberry12

 

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?

I feel like I took a big step when I updated my resume and applied for a little part time job.  I wasn't selected for the position, and that sucked, but I feel like it was a sept in the right direction.  Maybe now I can apply for more jobs?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is getting in to see a new OB!  I never want to go back to or see my old Dr.  My new MFM Dr. recommend a specific OB who is sensitive to what I have been through, and coincidentally, this OB is the one who was on call and delivered my baby!  I called to make an appointment with her but she isn't taking new patients till Setp. So, I explained my situation to the receptionist, and she was going to talk to the Dr. and call me back.  Still waiting.  I think I'll call again later on today.  

 Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I saw my mom this week for the first time in long time, and it was ok.  But I was kind of short with her, because I have very bad anxiety when I go out, and it's hard for me to make decisions.  I think I may have hurt her feelings.  So, thinking about emailing her to apologize.      

 

 

 

jbranden12

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?I don't really feel like I'm healing. I still feel like I'm surviving, barely sometimes. But we've been to counseling and visited Faith's lodge and went on a weekend away together, so those are things we've tried.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Like I mentioned in the ttcal check-in, we have fertility issues and I am having a difficult time in my career as well. Thus, my self-efficacy is very low. I don't make goals because I have no confidence that I can achieve them. I try to counsel myself to focus on what I can control, small steps, blah blah blah. But when I'm in moods like this, I feel like it's all bullsh!t and I just want to have a pity party.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?I am having an extremely difficult week. I just want to give up. But the realist in me knows that feeling won't last forever and I would have much more work/stress later on if I give in to these feelings, so I keep on going like a robot. 
GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up? A lawyer like my parents. Later on, a member of congress.

Petunia844

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing? I guess I'd say working on the nursery again... it's taken a HUGE leap of faith for me to do this.  It feels good though to see a blending of the room that was for Peyton and new things just for Raylan.  I'm starting to really feel like I can accept the brotherly relationship they have.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  I'm sorry, but all of my goals are pregnancy related right now, that's all I can focus on... we have a list of to-do items before baby comes so those are all my goals.  That, and really staying positive, maintaining faith. 
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Lots of things, it's just surreal, my milestone is about 5 weeks away.... so it's very odd approaching that point.  It makes me realize just how close we were to bringing him home.  So while I'm excited to be getting to the home stretch it's hard not to be terrified too.  I'm just trying to stay busy with nursery projects and getting out and doing things with friends.
GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up?  I'm not sure, I always wanted to be a mom, and I guess I'd say a teacher.

JonesBaby0624

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?I had my first counseling appointment, since our loss, today.  I had been seeing a counselor since we lost McKenzie in September.   I had been diagnosed with PTSD in the fall and she said we will continue treatment as we were.What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?I haven't even thought about it.  I feel like I am in survival mode right now.Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  Mostly my baby girl.  I have decided not to quit my job (since our loss) so I will be returning to school (I'm a high school teacher)  in 2 weeks.  I thought about going ahead with our plan, but I am hopeful going back to work will be a distraction.GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a firefighter.  I decided to go with the unsung hero instead.

Lavender&Lillies

What has been your biggest step taken towards healing?

I think talking about my loss has been my biggest step towards healing. Talking to other moms who have experienced a stillbirth like mine and are now pregnant or have other children has given me some hope for the future and helped me to not feel like I am alone. Talking to doctors and nurses about my loss has helped me to start to let go of the feelings of guilt and helped me to realize that losing Braxton was out of my control. Talking to my close friends and family has helped me to feel a little bit like myself again and to realize that they are grieving with me.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is to get pregnant again with our rainbow, but also to not put so much pressure on myself while we are trying.

My non-loss related goal is to start working on my National Board Certification. I am attending a 4 day session next week to help get me started. I am excited for the opportunity to get the help I need, but I am a little nervous because it is out of town. 

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?

Braxton is on my mind, like always, but this week has been especially hard because it is his 3 month anniversary. I am lucky to have some wonderful friends and a great husband who recognized this important day and offered much needed support.

GTKY: What did you always want to be when you grew up? 

I wanted to be a teacher and ,after wandering away from that path for a few years, I am.

I hope that everyone who is having a hard week will get the peace and support that they need.